


A Big Larry Musical - Act 2

by SeiFrancy



Series: A Big Larry Musical [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Actor!Louis, Album tags, Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bottom!Harry, F/M, Fluff, I Want To Write You A Song from MITAM, M/M, Next Tags are spoilers, Pining, Recreational Drug Use, Riding, Rimming, Sensory Deprivation, Sex tags, Singer!Harry, Still the One from Take Me Home, They're not famous yet but give them time, Top!Harry, because they kind of share that really, blindfolding, bottom!Louis, four - Freeform, i'm shit at this, it's just pot anyway, midnight memories, sorry - Freeform, top!Louis, ziall smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-14
Updated: 2016-07-02
Packaged: 2018-05-26 18:37:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 43,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6251065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeiFrancy/pseuds/SeiFrancy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Big Larry Musical moves from Manchester to London. And yes, Louis is still stuck in a Disney Channel Original Movie but, as we all know, as long as he has Harry, he doesn't really care.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. London

**Author's Note:**

> A big big thank you to my betas Chaima and Mena for the great support and the patience.  
> Sometimes they stay up all night to listen to me ranting and change my mind seven times a minute, so thank you so so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song For The Chapter: Best Song Ever.  
> This is a prologue, so it's shorter than usual, but I didn't want to make it too long, so just one song. I hope you'll like it.  
> Sing along if you can for a full experience.  
> Enjoy!!!

“Louuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!”  
Harry’s been waiting for his boyfriend to get ready for 20 minutes now and he’s becoming more impatient by the second.  
This is the first night in six months the five of them and Sophia are all free from work or school, and there is a huge party they want to attend, so excuse him if he wants to arrive in time for once.  
“I’m coming love,” Louis answers from the bathroom and, when he comes out, Harry feels his heart skip a beat. Louis looks painfully good with a blue long sleeves button down, black skinny jeans and his fringe styled in a way that makes Harry want to skip the stupid party and stay all night in bed.  
But they haven’t seen their friends in ages and they live with Niall and Zayn and still manage to not see them for a whole week, which says a lot about how busy they are.

The first time they saw Zayn’s penthouse they had to cover their mouths to avoid a big scream to come out and scare the whole neighbourhood. The place is huge. It occupies the entire seventh and eighth floor of the building in Sherwood Street and it has probably the best roof terrace in London, with a bar area and an actual Jacuzzi. The first floor is an open space. On one side there is a professional kitchen where Harry loves cooking romantic and healthy dinners for his boyfriend and on the other side a 75’’ flat screen and all the game consoles ever made in the world. In the middle there is a 12 seats table that can be extended to 24, three sofas, a couple of chaise lounge, a lot of armchairs and some other furniture, everything in plain white.  
On the second floor there are two huge bedrooms and Harry really loves theirs, with its pastel coloured walls, the walk in wardrobe and the silk sheets on the super king size bed. He loves even more the en-suite, which has a very big round bathtub in the middle, a glass shower with an unlimited amount of different options to get properly relaxed. Or create the perfect romantic atmosphere every couple needs once in a while.  
Harry feels like a proper rockstar everytime he walks in the house and he’s really happy they don't have to pay for it. They have to contribute to the house expenses though, so he and Louis managed to find pretty good jobs nearby. They both work in a famous Italian restaurant where everything is “sooooo good” and, when they’re lucky enough to have matching shifts, well, let’s just say that the alley behind the kitchen have seen a lot of action.

“Let’s go?”  
Louis voice startles him a bit, but then Harry smiles and takes his hand, leading them towards the elevator.  
They take the tube to reach the posh club in Chelsea where some rich student is hosting a party to celebrate something Harry doesn’t really remember, but Zayn’s working there that night, which means free alcohol for all of them.

Fifteen minutes later they arrive at the club, a long line of people waiting to go inside.  
“We’re on the list, right?” Louis asks Harry who nods, before pointing at someone in front of them.  
Liam and Sophia are already there, waiting in front of the entrance.  
“It was about time,” Liam greets them, hugging Louis tight, while Sophia does the same with Harry.  
“Sorry, this one spent ages in the bathroom fixing his hair,” Harry explains, pointing at Louis.  
“Ehi!!” the older boy protests, but he knows Harry’s right so he kisses him and starts to walk into the club.

The place is crowded and Harry’s sure most of the people are there just for the first part of the night, to listen to DJ Malik’s music. He became pretty famous in the past months, and people often request him for their parties.  
Louis’ classmates Michael and Luke are chatting with Niall and some other friends near the console station and Niall is laughing his ass out at something Luke just said.  
“What’s so fun?” Louis asks, while the four of them join the little group.  
Niall wipes away a tear and tries to answer but he is laughing so hard that he can barely speak.  
“I don’t have time for this,” Louis says “I have a fucking hot boyfriend to dance with.”  
Harry grins and follows Louis’ lead to the centre of the dancefloor, plastering himself on the shorter boy’s back, starting to kiss his neck.  
“I want to go home,” Harry says, pressing his half hard cock to his boyfriend’s bum and turning Louis’ head to catch his lips, their tongues licking inside each other’s mouth, hands already wandering on their bodies, like they hadn’t seen each other in months.

“You’re still in the honey moon phase, aren’t you?” a voice interrupts them, overhanging the music.  
A smile appears on Louis face.  
“Nick!!!!” he exclaims “I thought you said you couldn’t make it!!!!”  
“Well, the meeting at the Radio ended earlier, so here I am in all my glory,” he jokes, turning in place and opening his arms so Louis can crash on him and hug him tight.  
“C’mon Styles,” Nick grins, reaching out for him too.  
Harry snorts but he snuggle in, squeezing Nick and Louis together and, for a second, he feels like they are back at school again, in that awful day they had to comfort him after that asshole Amanda Clark had given him shit for a good fifteen minutes.  
“So, did they hire you? For the internship?” Louis asks and Nick smiles wide.  
“Of course they did. I’m the most amazing guy in the whole universe after all,”  
Louis laughs and Harry shakes his head.  
“Are you here alone?” the curly boy inquires and Nick points towards a group of people near the counter, drinking some fashion blue drinks.  
“Those are my new colleagues. The girls are pretty boring, but Dylan and Nathan are two years older than me and really amazing. Nathan is gay by the way and yes Louis, I’m already thinking about making a move on him very soon.”  
Louis looks at him with a big grin while a very good idea pops in his mind.  
“I’ll be back soon,” he says and runs towards Niall and the other lads, near Zayn’s station.

Harry and Nick start chatting about uni and classes until Harry spots Louis approaching Nathan and Dylan.  
“What is he doing?” Harry asks Nick, but the other lad shakes his head.  
“I have no idea Styles, he’s your boyfriend though, you should know what’s going on inside that pretty head of his.”  
“Believe me Grimmy, I’m as clueless as you are. I don’t know what he’s thinking half of the time.”  
Nick sniggers and pats Harry’s back, pitying him a bit but without showing it. Not too much at least.  
Louis comes back to them, all happy and overexcited.  
“They agreed!!!” he shouts, visibly proud of himself.  
“What?” Nick and Harry exclaim at the same time and Louis rolls his eyes.  
“Dylan and Nathan!!!” he says, like it explains everything.  
“I think we might need more details Louis,” Nick suggests and Louis sighs.  
“I invited them to our place as soon as Zayn is off duty. It’s more intimate and we’ll have the chance to know each other better”  
Louis winks at Nick who’s looking at him with wide baffled eyes.  
“Let me understand this better. You persuaded your friends and my friends to ditch this amazing party and go back to your house so I can make a move on Nathan and you can watch me do it? Am I right?”  
Louis gives Nick a mischievous smile and Harry puts a hand on his forehead, shaking his head and snickering quietly.  
“So, who’s coming home with us?” he asks, embracing Louis’ shoulders and kissing the top of his head.  
“It’s gonna be us, Nick, his two friends, Ziall and Sophiam of course, Michael, Luke, Olly, Caroline and Sarah.”  
“That’s a lot of people babe.”  
“I know but… the more the merrier, right?”  
Harry’s about to reply when all their friends, Zayn included, join them and it’s time to move the party to their penthouse.

***

“Who wants a drink?” Zayn asks as soon as they arrive home.  
“Everyone,” they all shout and then proceed to sit on the sofas and the armchairs, while chatting about nothing and everything.  
Zayn grabs Niall’s arm and brings him closer to himself.  
“Do you mind taking the orders baby? Pretty please? With a cherry on top?” he whispers, sending shivers through Niall’s spine.  
They hadn’t seen each other that much in the past week, as busy as they were with classes and extracurricular activities and all of Zayn's engagements as a DJ filled their agenda even more, leaving them with almost no time to spend alone together.  
Niall leans into Zayn’s warmth, holding on him a little bit longer than necessary.  
"I miss you so much," he murmurs, inhaling the spicy scent of his boyfriend's skin.  
"I miss you too babe," Zayn says directly in Niall's hair.  
The Irish boy sighs and takes out his phone to collect their guests’ orders.

A few minutes later he joins Zayn behind the bar, showing him the orders, pointing at Louis’.  
“He told me to make you pay particular attention to his drink, he cares a lot about it!!”  
"What the fuck,” Zayn’s exclaims, storming towards the sofas, looking alarmingly mad.  
“Louis!!!” he yells and the other boy turns around to face him, a mischievous smile adorning his lips.  
“Yes Zayn my beloved friend?”  
“Oh shut up you asshole. How very dare you mock my boyfriend?” Zayn growls, the vein on his temple pulsing dangerously.  
“Me? I would never…” Louis starts to reply, a little indignant, but everyone in the room, except Nathan and Dylan, stop him, saying "yeah you would." all at once.  
Louis puts up a face while all his friends start to laugh, his boyfriend included.  
He glares at Harry, trying to kill him with his eyes but the younger lad doesn’t seem to take his threatening stare very seriously, and keeps laughing, forehead resting on Nick’s shoulder.  
“Babe,” Niall asks Zayn, a questioning look in his blue eyes “What do you mean he was mocking me?”  
Zayn smiles and points at the orders list.  
“Read what Louis asked for.”  
“He asked for a Commonwealth drink and told me to pay particular attention to the main ingredients.”  
“Now Google the cocktail my love,” Zayn says, still glaring at Louis.  
Niall’s eyes become wider and wider. That cocktail is a monstrosity. It contains 71 ingredients, each one from a different country that is part of the Commonwealth. So there is stuff like Cloves from Tanzania, Dragonfruit from Belize, Galangal from Malaysia and to stay in the country Red Apple from England and Wild Strawberry from Scotland.  
It takes hours to prepare and of course Zayn doesn’t own all those exotic things.  
And what the hell is a Galangal anyway?  
“Oh okay, I understand now.” Niall says and he smiles at Louis, who smiles back at him, shining like the sun.  
“See Z? He’s not mad at me!!!” Louis sniggers, but the smirk on Zayn’s face cuts him off immediately.  
“You sure? His smile smells like revenge,” Zayn drops.  
“What? But it wasn’t to mock him. It was to annoy you. Why doesn’t anybody ever understand me? It’s unfair” Louis protests, snuggling under Harry’s arm and sighing heavily.  
“I have some ideas about how you can use some of those 71 ingredients though” Zayn provokes.  
“Hey!!” Harry starts but then a very very naughty thought crosses his mind, making him blush from his feet to the roots of his hair.  
Everyone in the room start to laugh and Zayn takes advantage of everyone being distracted to bring his boyfriend behind the counter.

“Let’s make some cocktail,” he declares, while a very subtle hand innocently grabs his bum.  
“Babe, don’t try to distract me. Can you bring me some lime instead?” Zayn asks Niall.  
Niall gives it to him and watches his boyfriend making the most perfect Cosmopolitan he has ever seen. It’s the perfect tone of pink and it smells so good he decides to steal the glass from Zayn’s hands and have a little taste before sharing that delight with their guests.  
“Niall you little thief,” Zayn complains, pushing the blonde lad against the counter and kissing him sloppily.  
Niall puts his hand on Zayn’s bum and squeeze hard, making his boyfriend moan inside his mouth.  
“I want to ride you so badly right now, you have no idea…”  
Niall blushes, but starts to suck on Zayn’s neck, and they’re not sure they can really stop themselves right now.  
“We… we should go upstairs for a bit…” he suggests and Zayn’s so up for it that he prepares the cocktails their guests asked for in the span of less than ten minutes, just to take his man’s hand and literally dragging him upstairs.  
“No subtle at all Ziall,” Louis shouts at them from the sofa, but they’re already in their bedroom, kissing and touching every cell of each other’s body. Niall’s tongue is licking along Zayn’s spine, straight down to his hole.  
He grins. The lads downstairs will have to wait for them for a while.

***

The night is almost over, some of the guys already left the house to go back to their own beds.  
Sophia is sitting on Liam’s lap and they are kissing slowly, his hands caressing her soft skin, her hands laced around his neck. They look so happy and touchy and Nick envies their happiness so much. He wants to feel the urgency to be alone with someone, to kiss and remove clothes, the kind of feeling that goes straight from your brain to your cock, making it twitch in interest just at the mere thought of what would happen behind closed doors.  
He moves his eyes on Nathan, who’s talking with Louis like they’ve known each other for years and not just a couple of hours.

“May I join you?” he asks, approaching the two lads, and staring at Nathan for a while. He looks really good, with brown long hair and mesmerizing green eyes. He’s not very tall but he’s muscular and well-toned and Nick suddenly feels very hot.  
“You okay?” Nathan asks, watching the red on Nick’s cheeks getting deeper and deeper.  
“Nothing,” he shrugs “It’s just a bit hot in here.”  
Nathan smiles and reaches for Nick’s tie, loosening the knot a bit.  
Louis feels as the third wheel so he has just turned on his heels to join his boyfriend, when Dylan jumps in front of him shouting “Have I ever told you about the night I danced with the most wonderful girl in the whole universe?”.  
Nathan rolls his eyes at his friend, who’s very tipsy and ready to annoy everyone with his stupid story.  
“I have already heard that,” he whispers in Nick’s ear, taking his hand and leading him to the terrace doors.

“Wait guys,” Zayn’s voice stops them.  
He and Niall are walking down the stairs, a very satisfied look on their face. And if that wasn’t enough to intel what they did, the state of their hair reveals a lot more.  
“Look who emerged from the land of sins,” Nick jokes and Zayn smiles wide at him.  
“Ahaha, nice one mate,” Niall replies, handing them a key.  
“This,” the Irish lad explains “unlocks the terrace external heat. So you won’t freeze yourself to death on our balcony ruining our party.”  
Nathan laughs out loud and Nick takes his turn to roll his eyes.  
“Thank you guys,” he smiles though and goes out, his fingers already laced with Nathan’s.

Louis spots his two friends just a second later.  
“Hold on a sec,” he says to Dylan and then makes a show welcoming his long lost friends back to the world, spilling a tear or two, just to make it all more believable. He knows Zayn wasn't really mad at him earlier. He was tired and in need to have some time alone with Niall after a whole week spent apart and that’s why he overreacted at his joke. But now everything’s okay and they can go back to their new friend’s tale.  
“So,” he starts once his little scene has ended “Dylan, you were talking about this amazing girl you met one night at a very boring party.”  
Dylan nods and then starts to talk about the most amazing night he has ever had.

He was at a gala his grandparents hosted at their mansion to celebrate something very stupid and it was full of very old people, and Dylan was thinking about drowning himself in the fruit punch when he saw her, the most beautiful creature in the world. She was walking towards him and Dylan couldn’t help falling in love with her on the spot. They started to talk a bit and Dylan decided to take her in another part of the mansion, far from the stupid gala and all those crinkled old couples.  
They ended up in Dylan’s room and they put music on and they danced all night and that was a great song but there’s no way he can remember the title. Or the music. He can remember just how beautiful she was and how he really wanted to take her at his place and literally spend the rest of his life with her.

Everyone in the room is caught up in the story and Dylan being a great storyteller helps to make everyone paying attention to him, but someone has his beautiful curly head somewhere else and of course Louis noticed.  
He goes straight to sit on Harry’s lap and kisses him like nothing else matters in the world.  
“A penny for your thoughts?” he asks right after, smiling softly at the love of his life.  
“It’s nothing really… just me being silly...”  
“Babe, no secrets!!”  
“Okay. I was thinking about Dylan’s story and…”  
“And?”  
“And this music suddenly came to me and it can be a great song you know?”  
Louis’ smile becomes so big he can easily outshine the sun. He runs upstairs and, after a second, he’s back with Harry’s guitar in his hands.  
“Lou…” Harry tries to protest but Louis cuts him off.  
“Don’t Lou me, okay? Let’s do this, if you need to sing, you have to sing.”  
He turns around to face their friends, a plead in his eyes. “Guys,” he says “Harry wants to sing us a song. And he wants us to sing along. So please, people, do your best!”  
He hands Harry his guitar, looking at him in encouragement.

“So.. uhm… okay… I think it can start with an F...”  
He fixes his fingers on the strings and strums once.  
“An then a C,” another strum “and finally I think a G could work.”  
After that he starts to strum faster and faster until his voice exploded, filling the room.

 _“Maybe it's the way she walked,”_ he starts, recalling Dylan’s story  
_“Straight into my heart and stole it_  
_Through the doors and passed the guards_  
_Just like she already owned it.”_

Harry looks at his friends and Zayn smiles at him.  
“What did you say her, Z,? Harry asks  
_“I said, 'can you give it back to me,'"_  
“And what did she reply?  
_“She said, 'never in your wildest dreams'.”_

Harry stands up and Louis invites everyone to join the incoming chorus and, since Dylan doesn’t recall the song’s words, well, what about singing about it?

 _“And we danced all night to the best song ever_  
_We knew every line_  
_Now I can't remember_  
_How it goes but I know_  
_That I won't forget her_  
_Cause we danced all night to the best song ever_  
_I think it went oh, oh, oh_  
_I think it went yeah, yeah, yeah_  
_I think it goes...”_

“Liam!” Harry shouts “What was her name?”  
Liam giggles and starts to sing.  
_“Said her name was Georgia Rose.”_  
“And what about her family?”  
_“And her daddy was a dentist.”_

Harry continues by himself, talking more about Louis than Georgia but, well, poetic license.  
_“Said I had a dirty mouth.”_

 _“I got a dirty mouth.”_  Zayns echoes him, kissing Niall’s lips.

_“But she kissed me like she meant it.”_

“Niall! What did you say?”  
_“I said, 'can I take you home with me'.”_  
“And what did she reply?”  
_“She said, 'never in your wildest dreams'"_

Louis starts to throw around stuff and in a bit everyone join him, moving chairs and throwing pillows and papers and magazines and who cares, they can clean tomorrow, now it’s time to have fun.

 _“And we danced all night to the best song ever_  
_We knew every line_  
_Now I can't remember_  
_How it goes but I know_  
_That I won't forget her_  
_Cause we danced all night to the best song ever_  
_I think it went oh, oh, oh_  
_I think it went yeah, yeah, yeah_  
_I think it goes...”_

“Babe,” Harry says and Louis knows exactly what to do.

 _“You know, I know, you know I'll remember you_  
_And I know, you know, I know you'll remember me.”_

“Zayn, reply to him!” Harry leads and his friend doesn’t let it down.

 _“You know, I know, you know I'll remember you_  
_And I know, you know, I hope you remember how we danced_  
_How we danced...”_

Harry’s on cloud nine, the song that has built inside of him all night long is finally coming out and it’s so amazing he literally starts to shout the timing without even realizing it.

_“1, 2, 1, 2, 3...”_

And they’re back again, in the middle of a previously neat room, starting the worst choreography ever seen. Louis’ setting the movements, the elbows, the boat, the chin, the stop the traffic and let them through. (One of his best, if he might say that himself.)

 _"How we danced all night to the best song ever_  
_We knew every line_  
_Now I can't remember_  
_How it goes but I know_  
_That I won't forget her_  
_Cause we danced all night to the best song ever!”_

 _“We danced, we danced, it goes something like, yeah!!!”_  
Harry’s voice is so good, Louis thinks the whole world should hear him sing.

 _“Danced all night to the best song ever_  
_We knew every line_  
_Now I can't remember_  
_How it goes but I know_  
_That I won't forget her_  
_Cause we danced all night to the best song ever!”_

Zayn’s high note hits the ceiling and comes back multiplied a hundred times and it’s so good, Niall’s feeling the urgency to go back to their room immediately.

 _“I think it went oh, oh, oh_  
_I think it went yeah, yeah, yeah_  
_I think it goes..._  
_Best song ever_  
_It was the best song ever_  
_It was the best song ever,”_

They fall on the sofas, laughing and giggling and Harry’s feeling like he’s on the top of the world.  
Nick enters the room, Nathan snuggled under his arm, and looks at them and the messy room, a deep frown on his forehead.  
“Did we miss something?” he asks and everyone starts to laugh out loud, tipsy and happy, still feeling the awesomeness of the best song ever.


	2. Love, Movies and No Control

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for the chapter: No Control, Still The One  
> Please sing along for a full experience!!!  
> Enjoy!!

“Nick is so right about you two,” Niall says, sitting at the breakfast table, reading the newspaper with a pair of black glasses on his nose.  
Louis hums inside Harry’s mouth, while his boyfriend is pressing him against the stove, trying to stir the eggs and touch him at the same time.  
“You’re stuck in a neverending honey moon phase. Can you stop doing the dirt in our kitchen and try to have a regular family breakfast for once?”  
Louis looks at him and laughs, pointing at his tartan slippers.  
“Yes of course, grandpa,” he mocks him “We’ll try to behave from now on.”  
And then he’s back to kissing Harry, until Zayn’s disgusted voice makes them stop again.  
“Oh My God, it’s 8.15 am, do you have any control over this?” the boy asks, kissing Niall’s head and pouring himself a cup of tea.  
“No they don’t,” Niall points out adding milk to his own cuppa.  
“Have you quite finished guys?” Louis blurts out, while Harry releases him to take care of the eggs.  
“No,” Niall states “Have YOU quite finished, Louis. Sometimes it seems like we’re living with a couple of horny teenager, instead of two responsible uni students.”  
“But we are two horny teenagers” Louis defends them and Harry giggles because Louis’ so cute when he’s mad.  
As a matter of fact, Louis’ always cute. And hot. And stunning and sweet and lovely and all that is good in the world.  
Niall and Zayn are right though. Since they have very little time to be with each other outside the house, mostly because they attend different classes, when together they spend every single second plastered to each other, kissing and touching and grinding and yeah, he can see why their friends are beginning to consider the whole thing a bit annoying.  
“You’re right guys,” Harry says, while serving them “We’re gonna tone it down when we’re in the same room with you, do you agree babe?”  
Louis looks at him and sighs.  
“Yeah, I do. We’ll try to keep it as much as innocent as we can. But I won’t promise anything. Niall’s right when he says I have no control when it comes to you.”  
“OMG,” Niall shouts placing his hand in the middle of his chest “Louis Tomlinson has just said I was right about something. This is the best day of my life”.  
“Oh, go to hell” Louis says, finishing his breakfast and going upstairs to get ready for class.  
Harry follows him right away and, as soon as they walk into their bedroom, he kisses him breathless.  
“Is this enough until tonight?” Harry asks and Louis smiles because fuck no, it isn’t, but it’s late and they have to run.  
He’ll get his Harry dose overnight, though, and that’s enough to make him smile wider.

***

“Babe, I’m home!!”  
Louis enters the flat and goes towards the stairs. It’s been a very tiring day and he really wants to cuddle with Harry for a while and then go straight to bed.  
“I’m upstairs love” Harry replies from their bedroom.  
Niall and Zayn are back in Manchester for Zayn’s sister’s birthday, so they’re alone in the big apartment, free to enjoy all that space just for them.  
Louis is too tired though. It’s 11.30 pm and he’s been up since 6am that morning. He had 3 classes in the morning and 2 in the afternoon plus a 4 hours shift at the restaurant. He wasn’t supposed to work that night, he would have really preferred to stay at home with Harry, but their co-worker Nancy asked Louis to switch shifts with her and Louis couldn’t say no, mostly because this means both him and Harry will have the day after free from everything. No classes, no work, no Ziall…  
He already planned to stay home with Harry all day long and fuck on every available surface in the house.  
He opens their bedroom door and Harry jumps up from the bed to greet him with a happy sloppy kiss.  
“Welcome home” Harry smiles, kissing Louis’ neck before leading him to their bed.  
They lay down facing themselves, hands joined in the middle, heads resting on the soft pillows.  
“How was your day?” Louis asks because, even though they’ve been texting a lot, he loves To hear the events of the day in Harry's voice. They do that every night, before their bathroom routines, and it feels very domestic, like they are a proper married couple.  
“It’s been great!!” Harry exclaims. “I tried to write a new song with my professor and he complimented me so much for my lyrics… he said that whoever my muse is I have to keep them very close and never let them go.”  
The smirk on Harry’s face is hilarious and Louis giggles quietly, before running his hand through Harry curls, tugging slightly at them.  
Harry’s soft moan goes straight to Louis’ cock, but he is too tired for anything sexual and he want to save his strength for the next day. Also he has very big news, he hadn’t the time to text Harry about, and he can’t wait to share it with him.  
“I met a guy today,” Louis drops and Harry looks at him a little confused.  
“A guy?” Harry inquires, playing with Louis’ fingers.  
“Yeah. His name is Jordan, he’s 23 and he is taking his PhD in Film Studies.”  
“Sounds great,” Harry says, and Louis knows he’s jealous, but he also knows that Harry has nothing to worry about, because Louis is so gone for him that he has lost interest in anyone else.  
“He asked me out.”  
“WHAT.”  
Louis starts laughing out loud and Harry hits him on the bum.  
“It’s not funny, Louis” he fumes, but then he starts laughing too and they end up kissing for a while, until Louis remembers he still has to tell Harry what happened with Jordan.

::::::::::  
Louis was walking through the campus as fast as he could, in order to arrive at work sooner and have the time to eat something before his shift.  
All of a sudden a guy stepped onto his path, a big grin on his face and the weirdest haircut ever on his head.  
“Hello,” said the mysterious lad.  
“Hello. Goodbye,” Louis avoided him, trying to walk away from that weird person.  
“No wait. Please,” he said, and Louis glared at him.  
“I’m sorry man. I’m already taken,” Louis stated, and the boy laughed out loud, like that was the best thing he’s ever heard.  
“That’s great for you, man. Listen, I’m Jordan. Can I have your attention for 5 minutes? If you don’t like what I have to tell you, you can walk away and you’ll never hear about me, deal?”  
Louis, being the most curious person in the whole universe, followed him in the little café a few metres away. He didn’t know, back then, that he was walking towards his future.  
::::::::::

“So you’re doing it?” Harry asks, right after Louis finished to tell him about Jordan’s project.  
“I think I will. I mean, it’s a three days shoot, it’s paid and I think it’s gonna be fun.”  
Jordan asked Louis to be the main character of his PhD project about the application of CG in sci-fy movies. It’s a 5 minutes short story about a guy who finds an alien creature made of energy. Louis has to act in an all green scenography, and then Jordan and his partners are going to add the rest with CG.  
A cute girl named Lorelei will be his only partner, as the voice of the creature.  
They’ll start in two days, so he still have the day after completely free.  
“I have to shower now,” he tells Harry, while mouthing at his neck, hands buried in his curls “and then we’re going to sleep because I’m too fucking tired to do anything more than wash myself.”  
“I’m gonna shower tomorrow,” Harry states “I just want to hug you and fall asleep with you in my arms.”  
“Il be back in a second then,” Louis says, and goes to the bathroom, his back aching, his head hurting, but to him tiredness is amazing when his reward is the beautiful boy in his bed and the love he gives him every day.

***

Harry wakes up with Louis plastered on his back, his arms tight around his chest and he’s warm and beautiful and Harry is so ready for their day together.  
He’s going to make him breakfast and then they can finally watch the new season of Shameless US because they had no time lately and they have a few episodes to catch up on.  
He feels Louis’ hard on pressing against the curve of his bum and all he wants is to grind back on him and let his boyfriend fuck him lazily under the covers, but he’s still a bit sore from the night before and he wants to wash himself first.  
They ended up having sex after Louis showered, mostly because he came out of the bathroom wearing nothing but his pride, and Harry is just a human being, how is he supposed to resist to the most perfect creature God has ever created?  
He frees himself from his boyfriend’s embrace and goes to the bathroom, opening the shower and undressing himself absentmindedly. It’s going to be a very good day.

Louis wakes up as soon as Harry turns the water on.  
He’s painfully hard and he knows it’s because Harry was pressed against him until a few minutes ago.  
He moves on Harry’s side of the bed, inhaling his scent, a mix of flowers and sun and innocence and sin and Harry.  
Louis can’t remember the last time he woke up without a hard on, and it’s all Harry’s fault.  
He’s so hot and soft and sweet and Louis’ so gone he has entirely stopped looking at other guys.  
He was watching a David Beckham interview the other day, David Fucking Beckham, and he had no reactions whatsoever. Nothing, nada, nichts. And David has been his wet dream for ages, for God’s sake.  
He looks around and, on the bedside table, he sees an empty cup of coffee, the chapstick shadow of Harry’s pretty mouth printed on its side.  
Louis takes the cup, pressing his lips against the cold china and, all of a sudden, he starts to sing.

 _“Stained coffee cup_  
_Just a fingerprint of lipstick’s not enough_  
_Sweet where you lay,_  
_Still a trace of innocence on the pillow case."_  
He rolls in Harry’s scent for a bit, his cock twitching in interest at every breath.

 _“Waking up_  
_Beside you I’m a loaded gun_  
_I can't contain this anymore_  
_I'm all yours, I got no control, no control.”_  
He needs Harry now, he can’t even pretend he doesn’t want him every fucking minute, because no one would believe him. Ever.

 _“Powerless_  
_And I don't care it's obvious_  
_I just can't get enough of you.”_  
He gets up as fast as he can and crosses the room, stopping himself in front of the en-suite. He wants to go inside and bend Harry over the bathtub and fuck him all day long.

 _“The pedal's down, my eyes are closed_  
_No control.”_  
He grabs the handle. Their free day is going to start in the best of ways.

Harry’s under the shower trying to give himself some release, but he’s not even close. It seems like his cock’s not happy with just his hand. His little friend downstairs wants more and Harry’s already sick of being in the shower.  
He has Louis’ smell on his skin and he really doesn’t want to get rid of it, he wants it to sink in his skin, to mark him as Louis’ property so everyone in the world will know he’s Louis’ and only his.  
He swallows and he can swear he still has Louis' taste in his mouth. He wants Louis so badly he can’t even masturbate properly.  
He looks at himself in the shower’s glass wall and, with a smirk, he starts to sing.

 _“Taste on my tongue_  
_I don't wanna wash away the night before”_  
_In the heat where you lay_  
_I could stay right here and burn in it all day.”_  
He wants to go out, take his man and make love to him all day, every day, for the rest of their lives.

 _“Waking up_  
_Beside you I’m a loaded gun_  
_I can't contain this anymore_  
_I'm all yours, I got no control, no control.”_  
Harry knows he should at least try to contain himself, to pretend he isn’t always craving for sex when he’s with Louis, but he can’t. His will power is lost somewhere behind Louis’ blue eyes.

 _“Powerless_  
_And I don't care it's obvious_  
_I just can't get enough of you."_  
He gets off the shower, drying himself quickly, ready to jump on the bed and claim the beautiful man lying there as his own.

 _“The pedal down, my eyes are closed_  
_No control.”_  
He opens the door and he's met with the most stunning view he's ever seen, big blue eyes open wide, hotter than he has ever been.  
They look at each other for just a fraction, green lost into blue, like the Earth and the sky have just melted into each other.

 _“Lost my senses_  
_I'm defenceless_  
_Your perfume’s holding me ransom”_  
_Sweet and sour_  
_Heart devoured_  
_Lying here I count the hours.”_  
They’re standing still, one in front of the other, hands ready to touch, mouths ready to suck, cocks ready to fuck. They stand there though, savouring the bitterness of waiting, counting the seconds that still separate them from what they know very well is going to happen in a minute or so.

And then Louis takes the lead and his mouth is on Harry’s.  
He kisses him hungrily and Harry kisses him back with the same urgency, tongues dancing and licking inside their mouths, like they’ll never have the chance to do this again.  
Harry grabs Louis’s thighs and lifts him up, Louis’ legs placing themselves around his waist, his tiny hands buried in Harry’s curls.  
Harry walks them to the bed and, as soon as Louis is laying on it, he starts to take off the old t-shirt he sleeps in, aching for his naked skin.  
“Harry” Louis breathes and in no time Harry’s mouth is on his again, lips already puffy and pink and now he is moving down his neck to suck a mark on his collarbones and Louis’ going to die very soon because his boyfriend’s mouth is so good he can come just from this.  
“What do you want me to do?” Harry whispers in his ear.  
“Please fuck me,” he exhales, shivers running repeatedly down his spine.  
Harry smiles and keeps kissing his chest, lapping and biting at Louis’ sensitive nipples, before licking his way down to his boxers, leaving a trace of marks and bites and shining saliva.  
Louis’ skin is hot under his touch, burning with desire and expectation.  
The older boy lifts his hips to help Harry taking off his boxer, freeing his erection, that jumps head on, almost reaching his belly.  
“You are so beautiful” Harry mouths on his inseam, sucking on his inner thigh, hands pressing on Louis’ hipbones, to keep him still.  
Louis opens his legs in invitation and Harry takes the chance to put his sinful lips on Louis’ swollen head, that’s already leaking precome on Harry’s tongue.  
“You taste so good,” he puffs, his breath straight on Louis’ cock and oh God Louis’ gonna die in frustration if the other boy doesn’t get his mouth back on him very fast.  
“Don’t tease me Styles,” he states “Just go ahead and give me head.”  
Harry laughs quietly because Louis’ an idiot and he loves him a lot.  
He pushes the foreskin down again, licking around Louis’ head, teasing the frenulum with his tongue, little moans coming from Louis’ throat. He start to move his mouth, swirling his tongue in a way that he knows drives Louis crazy, hollowing his cheeks, trying to get in as much as he can, covering the rest of Louis’ cock with his hand.  
He starts playing with Louis’ ball, pushing his middle finger against the perineum, not exactly reaching Louis’ hole yet, but making him feel the idea of having his fingers inside of him.  
“Stop stop” Louis pleads and Harry looks at him in confusion.  
“I want to come with you inside of me” Louis breathes and Harry feels a fire burning inside of him, his cock harder than he’s ever thought it was possible.  
Harry reaches for the lube on Louis’ bedside table and uncaps it, pouring a decent amount of the flavoured gel on three of his fingers. Louis bends his legs and lifts them, exposing his bum and his hole, cock twitching in expectation.  
Harry presses his lube-coated middle finger against Louis’ entrance, giving him just an inch, watching him shiver because it doesn’t matter how used one is to this, it always hurts and burns in the beginning.  
“You okay?” he asks and Louis smiles because Harry is so attentive and caring and Louis is the luckiest man alive.  
“Go on babe,” Louis allows and Harry pushes until he’s knuckle deep inside of him, making the older boy moan and slam his hips against Harry’s hand, demanding more.  
Harry adds a second finger and then a third, before lifting Louis’ legs, pushing his knees against his chest and fingering him properly, stretching him wide, but avoiding his prostate on purpose because Louis told him he doesn’t want to come yet.  
He still manages to push against Louis’ bundle of nerves a couple of times, making him whimper and whine, pushing his hips against Harry’s hand like it’s the only thing keeping him alive.  
“I’m ready,” Louis states, eyes locked with Harry’s.  
The curly boy removes his fingers and coats his length in lube, pouring a bit more of it on Louis’ stretched hole, just to be sure not to hurt him later.  
Louis looks at Harry’s big cock and closes his eyes, breathing heavily in expectation, until he abruptly changes his mind and stands up, pushing Harry against the bedhead.  
“I want to ride you,” he breathes on Harry’s mouth before kissing him, placing his knees on each side of him, his left hand resting on the curly boy’s shoulders.  
He grabs Harry’s dick with his free hand, lining it up with his hole.  
“Okay.”  
He takes a big breath and then he starts to sink down on it, inch by inch, stopping here and there to adjust and get used to it. Harry’s prick is thick and the stretch is so good and Louis feels so full, even though he’s just halfway down.  
He keep sinking until he’s properly seated on Harry’s hips, and his boyfriend hugs him tight against his chest, while Louis buries his hands in Harry’s long locks, lacing his arms around Harry’s neck.  
They start to move slowly, Louis moving his hips in figures eight, giving himself time to adjust a little bit more and, as soon as he feels ready, he lifts himself up and then sinks down again, finding his rhythm soon, and in no time he’s fucking himself on Harry’s cock, hitting his prostate over and over, electricity running through his body, making him moan out loud.  
Harry lifts his hips to meet Louis’ bounces, fucking him in earnest, and he is so tight and hot and Harry is completely lost in the vision of Louis’ muscular thighs contracting everytime Louis lifts up just to sink down on him again.  
He grabs Louis’s ass and stands on his knees, lifting the both of them from the bed, cock still buried inside of Louis, Louis’ tongue fucking Harry’s mouth while Harry’s dick is fucking Louis’ hole and wow, that’s too hot, the curly boy is pretty sure he’s not going to last much longer.  
He lays Louis down on his back, his legs pushed over his shoulders and starts to thrust inside of him, harder and faster and Louis cries out loud, begging him for more and Harry changes position to get a better angle and hit his prostate over and over. Louis reaches for his cock and starts to stroke, Harry’s hand joining him right away and they keep their rhythm, pounding onto each other, eyes locked, groaning and moaning and crying together, louder and louder until Harry shoots inside of Louis, filling him up. He loses his rhythm for a second, while coming down from his high, but keeps his hand on Louis’, helping him through the strokes until he comes too, white hot streaks of come covering their joined hands.  
“Wow,” Louis yawns, laying boneless and satisfied in Harry’s arms.  
Harry giggles and rolls over to kiss him on his head.  
“Do you want to shower?” Harry asks, caressing his hair. He feels gross and covered in sweat but he doesn’t want to move, he doesn’t want to separate from Louis ever again.  
Louis snuggles into Harry’s side, yawning again.  
“No I want to stay here” he gnaws against Harry’s chest, eyes already closed. “I want to stay here and never let you go.”

He wakes up two hours later, plastered again on Harry’s back and he can feel his boyfriend grinding against him, his cock hard and, fuck, Louis’ hard too.  
His boyfriend turns in his arms, facing him and reaching for his mouth as they start to kiss fiercely, just to break it a few seconds later because they can’t stop laughing.

 _“Waking up.”_  
Louis starts to sing and Harry laughs louder.  
_“Beside you I’m a loaded gun.”_  
“I can feel that,” Harry giggles, grabbing his cock  
_“I can't contain this anymore_  
_I'm all yours, I got no control, no control.”_  
“Me neither babe, me neither.”  
_“Powerless_  
_And I don't care it's obvious_  
_I just can't get enough of you.”_  
Louis hands are on Harry’s cock, ready to start over.  
_“The pedal's down, my eyes are closed_  
_No control.”_  
Harry moans, closing his eyes. He was right earlier. It’s going to be a fantastic day.

***

“It’s almost at 3 million views,” Niall states, watching the counting increase by the second.  
“Fuck this is huge,” Zayn comments, looking at the laptop over Niall’s shoulder.  
“I know, right?” Liam replies and they look at each other in disbelief because, fuck, they can’t actually believe it. Not yet at least.  
They are in Zayn’s flat and they are watching “Love Energy” on YouTube for the tenth time that day.  
It’s been just a month since Louis acted in Jordan’s PhD project, and none of them has ever thought it was going to become this big.  
The movie is very cute and painful and the CG is fucking awesome, clearly inspired by James Cameron’s Avatar, with weird plants, six legged animals and funny seeds floating around.  
  
The short film starts with the main character, named Paul, wandering in this alien forest, hungry and thirsty and so lost it’s almost heartbreaking to watch. He’s one step away from losing all his hopes, when a ray of light takes the shape of a female figure and starts to talk to him with soothing words, giving him the strength to hold on a little more and guiding him through the wild. She leads him to a little lake and Paul throws himself in it, without thinking if it’s safe or not.   
“I don’t care if I live or die, I just want this to end,” he says and his voice is so broken that everyone in the audience couldn't help but cry at this point.  
He drinks the water and eats fish and plants and the Light never leaves him, helping him to get to a full recovery. They spend days together near the lake, a blurry sequence of small scenes narrating their relationship, from stranger to friends to lovers. They kiss in the diming light, just a second before she disappears in the shadows of the night.  
She isn’t visible during the dark hours, but Paul can still hear her voice and feel her arms holding him and he cries because he know he can’t stay there for a long time, but nonetheless he wishes to never leave.  
The final scene is so painful some people compared it to the moment Rose realizes Jack is dead in Titanic.  
It opens with a “ _Five Years Later_ ” writing and a big starship landing on the planet. The ship is there to rescue Paul and he has no choice but to leave, because he can’t say he’s found a living creature or the other humans will capture her to study her and he really doesn’t want her to be hurt.  
His heart is breaking and you can see it on his face, that he really doesn’t want to go, but he has to.  
They kiss one last time in the sun and then Paul does the most unexpected thing ever. He kneels down and put a hand mid-air in front of him. A head crowned in chocolate locks appears and a kid, half human half light, smiles at him saying “Goodbye dad,” and then he disappears again, vanishing in thin air with his mother. Paul stands up and turns towards the ship, running away into the fading sunlight.

Jordan has uploaded the video on his YouTube channel on a Tuesday. On Wednesday it went viral and by Thursday it had already reached 1 million views.  
The whole world was talking about the mysterious boy with the blue eyes that was making a lot of people cry over a student film 5 minutes and half long.  
The credits show Louis’ name, of course, and a lot of people have left questions for him in the comments under the video, asking for details like how old is he, where he lives and if he’s taken or not.  
In the first few days Jordan has been reached a hundred times and contacted by hundreds of people asking him about Louis' credentials or his PR’s number.  
Louis bragged about being famous for a while, but eventually he started panicking and driving everyone crazy, especially Harry.  
When Louis’ temperature started to rise increasingly, as it always happens when he's stressed, Niall decided to take matters in his own hands and started acting as Louis’ manager and PR.  
He forced him to make a twitter account (@louis_tomlinson has almost 225K followers from all around the world) and he’s spent the last month filtering calls and reading scripts for student projects and even tv shows and commercials.  
Up until now, Louis acted in a couple of commercials and he accepted to release an interview for the radio Breakfast Show just because Nick was the one in charge of the questions.  
Niall looks at Zayn and sighs. The last one has been a very rough week, and he’d regret being Louis’ manager if it wasn’t so fun. Louis is tired though, all this popularity brought a lot of glances and gossip and rumours and Louis hates all of it.  
He hated it when he was in school and he hates it now.  
“What about a lad’s night?” Liam says and Zayn nods, shortly followed by Niall, who really needs to keep his mind busy with something that’s not Louis’ schedule.  
“We can play FIFA and order pizza? Or Chinese or whatever you want” Zayn suggests and Niall smiles because his boyfriend knows him so well.  
“You’re doing a great job babe,” Zayn praises him and Niall sighs again.  
“It’s very tiring…”  
Zayn hugs him, kissing his forehead and then his nose and Niall giggles because, behind Zayn’s back, Liam’s pretending to puke and Niall can’t help but start laughing out loud on Zayn’s shoulder.  
“What?” Zayn asks, confused but Liam adds sound to his mimic and they guffaw together, until Harry and Louis find them a few minutes later.  
  
“What’s so fun?” Harry asks and a choir of “lad’s night” come from them, making him and Louis smile wide.  
“Just a rule,” Niall suggests “No talking about work, auditions, classes, assignments or whatever. Stick to silly topics, please.”  
“We can talk about the great blowjob Harry gave me this morning,” Louis says, a big smile on his pretty face.  
“Ewww no, c’mon man! I wasn’t talking about that,” Niall replies, looking deeply grossed out.  
“You said you didn’t want to talk about work and uni!!!”  
“I didn't mean that you can talk about your sex life. None of us wants to hear about it, thank you very much.”  
Louis pouts, hiding in Harry’s arms.  
“C’mon love,” Harry pats his head “You’ll get another blow job if you behave.”  
Louis smiles wide while Niall re-enacts Liam’s puke mimic with Zayn and Liam takes out his phone to order both pizza and Chinese, because they’re 5 guys in their late teens and they still have to grow up.  
An hour or so later they’re all in front of the telly, playing UK (Zayn&Niall) vs Italy (Louis&Liam) and Uk is winning a lot, mostly because Louis’ been distracted by Harry kissing his neck repeatedly, causing a lot of yelling from Liam and a lot of laughing from Ziall.  
They keep playing and drinking the amazing cocktails Zayn made for them and, a few hours later, they’re all on the sofas smoking pot and talking about a lot of shit.  
  
Liam’s been silent for a while and Louis’ not sure if it’s because he’s too drunk to form coherent sentences or if he has some troubles going on.  
“Lads!” he shouts, mostly at Niall and Harry who are simulating a tennis match using their hands as rackets and one of Niall’s socks, conveniently screwed into a sphere, as the ball.  
“Shush now. We have a Paynful problem here,” he says, giggling at his own pun.  
“You hurt?” Harry worries, not catching the double sense, mostly because it’s impossible to understand it if you’re not reading the word.  
“Hurt? No!!! I said Paynful, spelled P-A-Y-N-Whatever” Louis explains and Harry laughs, but he’s the only one because, let’s say it, that pun was really lame.  
The other boys turn their heads to look at Liam, who blushes and hides his face behind his hands.  
“What’s up man?” Niall inquires, placing an arm on Liam’s shoulders.  
“It’s nothing,” he answers but Louis’ not convinced.  
“C’mon man, speak up.”  
“I’m not in the mood…” Liam says and he’s really upset and a bit sad, so Louis decides to let it go and call it a night.  
“We’ll talk tomorrow,” he warns him “No excuses accepted. We’re all free from duties and you’re not okay so don’t think you can get away with it.”  
Liam sighs and rolls on the sofa, covering himself with the blue blanket Niall gave him.  
“Goodnight then” he says and the other boys leave him alone and go to their bedrooms.  
“Yeah we’ll talk” he mumbles, before falling asleep, a silent tear crossing his cheek.

***

“Gooooood moooorning penthouse,” Louis shouts from the stairs, instantly followed by dying whale noises coming from his friends in the kitchen.  
He laughs at them dealing with a bad hungover while looking at Harry cooking them his “Hungover special” which happens to be the greasiest breakfast ever.  
“How comes you two seem to be perfectly fine?” Niall inquires.  
“Oh that’s easy,” Harry replies, while Louis snuggles into his side, whispering a good morning into his curls.  
“Elaborate please.”  
“We haven’t drunk last night.”  
“Bullshit!!!!” Niall calls “I saw you with that pink cocktail you both like so much.”  
“There’s no alcohol in it,” Zayn admits and Niall looks at him like he has just caught him fucking a girl.  
“Betrayal!!” he yells, and Louis giggles. “I thought I was the drama Queen,” he whispers in Harry’s ear, looking at their friends bickering about something so silly.  
Harry grabs Louis’ chin and kisses him fondly and deeply and their hands start wandering on their bodies and “fucking hell guys, not now okay?”  
  
Liam’s looking at them with red puffy eyes, like he hasn’t slept at all and had instead cried all night long.  
Louis goes for a hug, but Liam pushes him away.  
Harry glances at his boyfriend and he can see Louis is hurt by Liam’s refusal but also that Louis is more worried than hurt and that he’s not going to let his friend down.  
“What’s wrong Liam? You’ve been weird since yesterday night, please talk to us,” Louis says very slowly, his tone so calm he’s almost unrecognizable.  
Liam sighs heavily and looks at them in surrender. “Okay” he agrees, exiting the kitchen and throwing himself on the sofa.  
He sighs again. He doesn’t know where to start, really.  
“I had a fight with Sophia. A very bad one if I must say,” Liam explains and he looks so broken Louis feels the urge to hug him again, but he holds off.  
“What happened?” he asks instead and he sees Liam’s face crumbling while fat tears start streaming down his face.  
“I left.”  
“YOU WHAT?!?”  
The lads are baffled and can’t believe their own ears.  
“I left the apartment… I’ve been living with one of my co-workers for the last two weeks.”  
“Two weeks? But… you haven’t said a word, what the fuck Liam, we’re your best friends!!!”  
Zayn sounds hurt and mad and Louis’ sure he is, because he feels the same. They’ve been friends for years, he should have come to them immediately for something this huge.  
Liam looks at his shoes, wiping away the tears with the heels of his hands. He doesn’t know how to tell his friends he had been ashamed of what he did and that’s why he hadn’t told them what happened.  
  
Long story short, since Sophia and him started working and going to uni, they barely had the time to see each other, their schedules so full they had to plan dates weeks in advance to be sure they’re both free.  
After the first month, people at school started to entirely rely on Sophia for group projects. She turned out to be such an incredible natural talent that both freshmen and older students began asking her to be their work partner and she was getting less and less available, until they couldn't find time to be by themselves for four whole weeks..  
They fought a lot, Liam complaining about not seeing her at all, and Sophia telling him she hasn’t planned to be that busy, and that Liam has just to be patient because group projects have deadlines, and this will be over soon.  
Liam waited, planning a big night for their anniversary in the meanwhile. Sophia swore she would be free from everything for that day and Liam was so happy he couldn’t really wait for it.  
But the unpredictable happened, and Liam’s Chief called him in for an extra shift on that very day. When he told Sophia they had to reschedule their anniversary dinner, she got mad and they yelled to each other for a good hour, until Liam took his suitcase, threw some clothes inside and went away without saying a word, slamming the door behind himself.  
He called the other Candidate from his firehouse and asked him if he could put him up for a while. Two weeks have passed since then and Liam misses Sophia so much, he literally went every day to their apartment to talk to her, but he never had the courage to knock the door, walking away everytime.  
“I can’t find the words,” he complains, his friends gathered around him and Liam feels loved for the first time in days. “I hate not being able to talk to her. And I regret leaving every day. Also I heard from some of her friends and she told them I’m a stubborn idiot with no brain and that hurts so much…”  
Another group hug makes him cry again, and it’s not okay. It’s not okay at all.  
  
Harry looks at Louis and he can actually see his boyfriend’s brain working fast, his eyes wandering around, a thousand different thoughts crossing his mind all at once until, fuck, Harry can swear he heard a click when the right idea comes up.  
“I’ve got an idea,” Louis says right after the click and Harry falls in love with him a little bit more.  
“Really?” Liam asks, his eyes red and puffy and he looks so miserable Harry feels the urgency to hug him tighter.  
“Yeah!!! It’s called roleplay!!”  
“Louis,” Zayn scolds him, rolling his eyes “Not everything revolves around sex.”  
“I know that, you idiot. It’s not that kind of roleplay. This is an acting thing,” he explains, before going back to Liam.  
“Listen, I think you need to rehears a bit before you can actually talk to Sophia. I thought maybe you could pretend we are Sophia and you could tell us what you want to tell her, while being in a safe space, without any kind of pressure bothering, or worse, stopping you.”  
“Oh,” Liam says and Louis smiles at him.  
“You up for it?”  
Liam looks at his friends and their eyes are so full of empathy and love and he feels stronger than he had in days.  
“I should have come to you sooner,” he states, shaking his head and getting up to stand in front of his friends.  
“Knock at the door then,” Louis invites him, a big smile painted on his face.  
Liam mimics a knock and Louis pretends to open an invisible door.  
“Hi Liam,” he says, his jaw clenched, his eyes full of anger and sadness, perfectly stepping into Sophia’s shoes.  
He waits for Liam to speak and, to no one's surprise, out of the blue, he starts to sing.

 _“Hello, hello, I know it's been a while but baby,_  
_I got something that I really wanna let you know, yeah_  
_Something that I wanna let you know, oh, oh, oh.”_  
“You have three minutes. Talk.”

 _“You say, you say to everybody that you hate me_  
_Couldn't blame you 'cause I know I left you all alone, yeah_  
_I know that I left you all alone.”_  
“Yeah you did, and for no reason at all.”

 _“Yeah, now I'm back at your door_  
_You're looking at me unsure_  
_I should've seen it before_  
_You're all I think about, baby.”_  
“Show it to me then, instead of standing there like the idiot you are.”  
Louis’ so good Liam can actually hear Sophia’s voice instead of his and wow this is mind blowing.

 _“I was so stupid for letting you go_  
_But I-I-I know you're still the one_  
_You might have moved on_  
_But, girl, you should know_  
_That I-I-I know you're still the one.”_  
Liam takes Louis’ hands and looks at him with so much love in his eyes and so much hope, Harry has to stop himself from getting up and punching him right in the face.

 _“I know it's saying too much_  
_But I will never give up_  
_I was so stupid for letting you go_  
_But I-I-I know you're still the one_  
_I-I-I know you're still the one.”_  
“Do you want me back then?” Louis asks and Liam smiles. Of course he wants him… ehm… HER back.

 _“Hello, hello, I'm really hoping you'll forgive me_  
_I keep talking, begging, tell me what I wanna hear, yeah_  
_Girl, just tell me what I wanna hear.”_  
“I’m not telling you anything yet. Keep pleading though.”

 _“I tried, I'll try to start again and find somebody_  
_But I remember all the times and all the words we said, yeah_  
_I can't get it out of my head, yeah.”_  
“I don't think making her jealous is the right move here,” Niall suggest and Liam nods, his friends are amazing, really.

 _“Now I'm back at your door_  
_You're looking at me unsure_  
_I should've seen it before_  
_You're all I think about, baby.”_  
Liam takes Louis’ hand pulling him in a hug and starting to dance with him around, the other lads joining them right away.

 _“I was so stupid for letting you go_  
_But I-I-I know you're still the one_  
_You might have moved on_  
_But, girl, you should know_  
_That I-I-I know you're still the one_  
_I know it's saying too much_  
_But I will never give up_  
_I was so stupid for letting you go_  
_But I-I-I know you're still the one.”_  
“That’s good Liam, tell her how much she means to you,” Zayn encourages him and Liam’s feeling so good right now, this roleplay thing is working very very well.

 _“Hey you, you're still the one_  
_Hey you, you're still the one_  
_Hey you, you're still the one_  
_Hey you-_  
_You're still the one”_  
“Okay, last seconds, tell her you’ll be there waiting for her,” Harry suggests and Liam looks at Louis right in the eye, placing a hand on his cheek.

 _“I know it's saying too much_  
_But I will never give up_  
_I was so stupid for letting you go_  
_But I-I-I know you're still the one_  
_I-I-I know you're still the one.”_  
He stops singing, his lips a breath away from Louis’, both panting and apparently unable to tear their eyes away from each other.

“Okay, that’s enough,” Harry hisses, pushing Liam away.  
Louis laughs and then kisses him deeply because Harry is very cute when he’s jealous.  
“I’m sorry,” Liam says, but he’s never felt more sure of himself as he is now.  
“I think I’ll go to her now. What time is it?”  
“11.18” Zayn replies.  
“She’s going to be on lunch break in an hour, I should go talk to her, what do you think?”  
“It’s a yes for me” Louis says, making the other boys giggle, but their coral laugh sounds different than usual.  
“Where’s Niall?” Zayn asks but the Irish boy appears on the stairs in that very moment, running like mad, holding his phone like his life is on the line.  
“What?” they all ask and Niall can’t really answer at the moment, so he holds a hand in front of them, asking for a second to gather his thoughts.  
“Okay. Louis you might want to take a seat.”  
Louis sits on one of the armchairs, looking at his friend half excited half scared to death.  
Niall takes a deep breath.  
“Steven Moffat called” he says “He wants you for a role in Doctor Who”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Love Energy" is a short movie by Jordan Saville, featuring Louis Tomlinson as Paul, Lorelei Hanson as the voice of the Light and Jordan Saville ad the voice of the Son.  
> It's my original idea, of course, I hope you liked it.


	3. Fears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for the chapter: Through the Dark, Fireproof.  
> I know nothing about how Doctor Who’s shooting works, so I described the making of like a regular movie production one.  
> A screenplay read-through happens when the actors with speaking parts conduct an organized reading of the screenplay around a table, along with the director, the writers and the producers.  
> According to Google translate, Honua means Planet in Hawaiian. Please feel free to correct me if it’s wrong.  
> Please sing along for a full experience.

“Paul!!!!”  
Louis rolls his eyes and turns around, facing a cute girl with pink pig tails and a piercing on her left eyebrow.  
“It’s Louis,” he smiles at her and she blushes, muttering an “Of course” and handing him a pen and a piece of paper.  
“Can I have your autograph?” she asks and Louis smiles a little wider.  
“What’s your name, love?”  
“I’m Brittany.”  
Louis takes the pen and starts to write.  
  
“ _To Brittany, your hair is amazing. Have a great life. Louis “Paul” Tomlinson._  
 _P.S. It’s William not Paul. Paul it’s my… but you already know that so yeah bye bye_ ”  
  
He adds a smiling face and a couple of X and he finally hands the paper back to the girl.  
“I’ll keep the pen if you don’t mind” he winks at her and she nods, blushing again.  
“H-have a g-good day L-Louis” she stutters and runs away, holding the autograph tight to her chest.  
  
Louis sighs. Popularity is not for him, but all these girls are so cute and they seem to genuinely like him, so he tries to be the most polite he can, signing autographs and taking pictures here and there.  
It happened a lot of times since Love Energy went viral and, even though he thinks he’ll never get used to this, he’s aiming for a bigger audience so he can at least try to make things work.  
He did the audition for Doctor Who last week and it’s been great.  
Both the writers and the actors liked him a lot and he liked them all back. Jenna Coleman is so cute and tiny and incredibly funny. Mr. Capaldi is… there are no words to describe him. He’s this multifaceted talented artist and Louis had had breath issues for a while after he introduced himself during his audition.  
They already had three meetings that week and several more are already scheduled, there are papers to sign, his cachet to discuss and some other little details Niall’s taking care of.  
He can’t wait to start the shooting though. Louis’ character (Prince Larker of Honua)  is going to make his appearance in the last two episodes of the new season, when Clara and the Doctor land on Larker’s planet and find out there is an internal feud between Capital City and the three great nations Honua is divided into, the Fire Nation, The Water Nation and the Dark Nation.  
Prince Larker is the second son of Emperor Hairos’ third wife, so his destiny is to become a commander of the exploring army and leave Honua to find other worlds to invade and conquer, in order to expand his father’s empire.  
Of course Larker doesn’t want to do such a thing, he’s a very pacific soul, more interested in scientific studies and not much into politics and war plans. He meets Clara and The Doctor at the Black Market under the Big Wall that separates Ashai, the Capital City, from the rest of the planet and each nations from the other.  
Long story short the Nations are on the verge of a revolution, the Emperor treats them as slaves and forces both women and men to serve for 20 years in the army, since the tender age of 14.  
The Doctor is horrified at the idea of young boys and girls deported away from their families and forced to fight in neverending wars, so he decides to help the nations to dethrone Hairos and has a meeting with their leaders. They look like normal Earthlings, but they have some sort of  esp powers. Fire People have telekinesis, Water People have teleportation and the Darkens can create visions in people’s mind that last just for one minute, but they can feel like years for those who are experiencing them. The Royal family has its own powers, which are rumored to be mind control and  the ability to inflict great pain with just one look. Larken reveals that the Royals don’t have any kind of powers and that all the rules Hairos imposes on his people are acts of jealousy and greed which have no real purpose but to keep them far away from the truth about the Royals.  
They decide to reveal the Emperor’s lies and dethrone him once and for all.  
And this is where the first episode ends, with Clara and the Doctor ready to fight and Larken helping them to sneak into the Emperor’s palace.  
Louis likes the script very much, can’t really wait for the screenplay read-through, which is going to be in a week, but he’s very excited for the actual filming  too. As far as he knows they’re going to film the outside scenes first and then the inside ones , including those where CG’s going to be applied. More green scenography, Louis’ getting pretty used to it.  
  
He enters the cafeteria, looking around, until he spots Harry near the window on the other side of the room. They planned to have lunch together, but now that Louis has seen him he really just wants to take him home and cuddle him until the end of time.  
Harry looks a bit tired but still gorgeous. He’s wearing a green beanie, a grey sweater with too long sleeves, the omnipresent black skinny jeans and his black boots. He’s focused on some papers in front of him, pencil in hand. Probably he’s going through the lyrics of his new song. Harry is so good at writing, his songs are always so on point, the listener can completely identify with the emotions Harry wants to express and Louis is very proud of him for that.  
Louis reaches Harry’s booth and sits next to him, his forehead pressed to Harry’s shoulder, losing himself in his boyfriend’s warmth.  
Harry turns around to look at him, hitting his almost empty cup of tea with his elbow, spilling the last drops on Louis’ arm.  
“Oops,” he says.  
“Hi,” Louis replies, pecking Harry’s lips.  
They smile at each other for a while, completely lost in their own little bubble.  
“How was your morning?” Louis asks and Harry sighs heavily.  
“I don’t know Louis… I have so many songs ready and my professor keeps saying how great they are, but I’m not really satisfied with them… I feel like they all miss something, you know?”  
Louis looks at him fondly, his eyes full of love and admiration and Harry feels suddenly warmer and happier and suddenly some lyrics popped into his head so he kisses Louis and goes back to his writing.  
Louis calls the waiter and orders lunch for the both of them, salad mix with onions, red peppers, cucumber and mozzarella for Harry and a double cheeseburger with bacon and chips for himself.  
“I’m so hungry” he says, but Harry is so lost in his own music that he doesn’t even hear him.  
Louis plays Candy Crush for a while, until the waiter comes back with their orders and Harry takes his nose off the music sheets.  
“Fuck, sorry,” he apologizes, but Louis shakes his head.  
“Don’t worry love,” he smiles “I’m pretty used to it by now.”  
Harry laughs and starts to eat. It’s so beautiful to be together like this, all cuddled on the table bench, eating good food, no one and nothing bothering them.  
Harry and Louis sigh at the same time, sharing the same worrying thoughts. If there is something they learned in the past two years spent together is that, when things are going too well, sooner or later, something will come to test their strength.  
“It’s gonna be okay,” Harry reassures Louis and he snuggles into his arms, feeling happy and safe.  
It doesn’t matter what life has in hold for them, they’re gonna face it, fight and win because, well, they’re the heroes of their own story and heroes always win. (Except for Divergent. Fuck you very much, Veronica Roth).

***

“Temperature?”  
“39.8...”  
“Fucking hell.”  
Harry’s pacing the floor outside his and Louis’ room, Zayn and Niall trying to calm him down and failing miserably.  
“Should I take him to the hospital? This is not his usual anxiety crisis, this is something bigger and more dangerous and… I… I just…”  
Harry falls on his knees, hands over his face. He’s totally wrecked and Ziall are helpless, Zayn swore he’s never seen Louis like that.  
That’s why he decided to call the cavalry in. Louis and Harry need a bigger help than the one he and Niall can provide by themselves.  
The bell rings and Zayn sighs in relief. They’re here.  
Jay and Anne walk inside the penthouse with reverent looks on their faces and a very loud Gemma behind them.  
“Why are you here exactly? You literally live ten minutes away and you never came to visit before,” Harry attacks her and Niall thinks it’s really weird, he’s never talked to her sister like that.  
“Well, hi Mom, thanks for coming. How are you mom?” Anne says sarcastically.  
“Yeah I’m sorry. Hi mom, hi Jay, it’s very good to see you,” he apologizes “you too Gemma. I know  you’re very busy with your PhD, I didn’t mean to be rude...”  
“It’s okay,” Gemma smiles “I think you’re just pretty nervous and very worried. Anyway, I’m here to help so I think I’ll take Ziall out for dinner so you guys can have a proper private chat.”  
“You’re paying?” Niall asks suspiciously.  
“Hell no!” Gemma replies making Zayn laugh “You’re the rich ones, you pay.”  
“Okay okay, let’s go then,” Zayn snickers, leading them to the elevator, stopping just to kiss Anne and Jay and squeeze Harry’s shoulder. It’s gonna be a rough night for the three of them and they need support, of course, but Zayn’s pretty sure a lot of yelling will be involved so, yeah, it’s better if they leave.

“Do you want to see Louis?” Harry asks Jay once Gemma and the boy has left the apartment.  
“In a few minutes,” she replies “tell me what happened and be as detailed as you can. Every little information, as insignificant as it may sound, can be important.”  
“Uhm… okay. Well, as you already know two days ago there was his Doctor Who’s episode read-through. I took him there myself, he was a little bit nervous so I made sure he went inside. I also met Jenna Coleman and Peter Capaldi and it was awesome.  
After that I had my lunch shift at the restaurant and I came back home around 5 pm I think. He came home around 8 and went straight to bed, without saying much more than he was tired and needed to rest.”  
Jay nods and Anne puts a hand on her shoulder. Harry can see she’s very concerned, her son is really sick and she had to leave her daughters at their fathers’ for the first time since the divorce to take care of Louis and that’s a lot to worry about all at once.  
“Yesterday morning he didn’t get up. He skipped both his classes and the acting seminar he’d been waiting for for weeks and he didn’t want to talk to me at all. I tried to make him eat, but he threw up right away. That was yesterday around two pm. Since then he’d barely drunk and never left the room.”  
Harry’s shaking and Anne hugs him tight, trying to calm him down, both waiting for Jay to say something.  
Jay stands up and sighs heavily.  
“I’m going to talk to him,” she declare and heads towards the stairs, stopping in the kitchen to bring a bottle of water and a pink lady apple.  
Harry lays down on the sofa, his head in his mom’s lap, and watches Johanna as she goes inside his and Louis’ room, closing it heavily behind herself.  
“Shush love,” Anne soothes him, scratching his scalp softly “It’s gonna be okay, I promise you that”  
Harry knows Louis’ just stressed and this is the way his body reacts when under pressure, he’s already seen that a couple of times. Still this is not a normal anxiety crisis. This is something different. Louis hasn’t talked to him for two days straight, he refused to eat Harry’s homemade meals, he refused to be cuddled, to be kissed, to be touched. It’s like he’s rejecting Harry’s love in all its forms and Harry feels his heart break because he doesn't understand why Louis’ shutting him out all of a sudden and doesn't know what did he do wrong to deserve it.  
Harry lets his mom pet his hair for a long time, trying to avoid focusing on the muffled sounds coming from the bedroom. He waits and waits and it feels like he’s on a cliff, black whirling waters looking at him from the bottom of it, dangerous and scary and wow, he’s never been so overdramatic his whole life, Louis influenced him so much. You don’t realize how fast things change while you’re growing up until you look in the mirror and at first you don’t recognize yourself, but then, all of a sudden, you can see how much of your past self is still there, hidden behind older eyes, with the same dreams and the same fears buried deep inside your heart.  
  
Harry opens his eyes and jumps from the sofa, startling his mother. He grabs a pencil and some music sheets, starting to write right away.  
“New song?” Anne asks, looking at him fondly.  
“Maybe,” Harry answers, his pencil running faster on the papers, ready to expose his emotions and turn them in words and music.  
An hours or so later, Johanna emerges from the bedroom, phone in hand.  
“Where are you?” she says, collecting her bag and coat, asking Anne to do the same.  
“Will be there in a bit, thank you very much.”  
She puts her phone back in her bag and smiles big at Harry.  
“We’re joining Gemma and the boys now. He’s ready to talk to you. Please don’t be too mad at him, he didn’t mean any harm.”  
Harry nods and hugs her and Anne very tight, thanking them profusely.  
“Go to him, c’mon, we can let ourselves out. Go.” his mom encourages him, pushing him towards the stairs.

Louis’ hidden in the dim-light, sitting on the bed, thinking about his mom’s words.  
He’s being a stubborn idiot all over again, but he can’t really help it.  
The fear of being separated from Harry always overwhelms him… his brain stops working properly and he makes the worst decisions when in that mood.  
He’s pondering if he should go downstairs or wait for Harry to come over, when the door suddenly opens, a flash of bright light blinding him for a sec.  
Harry’s figure stands out against the door frame, handsome and beautiful and Louis wants to cry because he really doesn’t want to lose him but he doesn’t know what to do.  
“Hey,” Harry says, closing the door behind himself.  
“Hi,” Louis replies, looking straight at him, his eyes red and puffy. He still feels tears pushing at the corners, but he doesn’t want to cry again. He needs to explain what happened to the amazing man who’s sitting next to him, looking at him with so much love he can easily turn a star into a supernova.  
Harry’s hands come to cup his face, his lips just a breath away.  
“Can I?” the curly boy pleads, his voice soft and small and so scared.  
“Yes, please,” Louis replies, closing the distance between them and kissing his boyfriend for the first time in almost three days.  
“I’m so sorry,” Louis murmurs after they break the kiss.  
“What happened?” Harry asks softly, moving his back against the bedhead, letting Louis snuggle on his lap and hug him tight.  
Louis takes a deep breath, and then another one because it’s not easy to explain to your boyfriend that you are the dumbest person in the Universe.  
“It happened that I get scared too easily and that I don’t feel brave enough to face things like a normal person does, but I have to overreact every single time.”  
Harry kisses his head and looks at him, a silent question in his eyes.  
“Please talk to me,” Harry begs him but Louis doesn’t know where to start.  
“Jenna Coleman is going to leave the show,” he says out of the blue and Harry almost chokes on his own breath.  
“WHAT!?!”  
“Yeah. This is her last season.”  
“I can’t fucking believe it!!! I mean, I love Clara so much, she’s been one of my favourite companions so far!!! Any clue about who’s gonna be the next one?”  
Louis looks at Harry through his eyelashes, widening his eyes and raising his eyebrows and Harry is confused for a second, but then it clicked.  
Harry puts a hand in front of his mouth, Louis would have laughed if he wasn’t so sad, his eyes are wide open and his surprise is so genuine that he looks like a toddler on Christmas morning.  
As soon as Harry finds his ability to talk again, he starts to scream and he hugs Louis tight, peppering kisses all over his face and head and neck and okay, he’s not getting it.  
“It’s not a good thing Harry,” he snaps making Harry freeze on the spot.  
“No?”  
“No!!! For God’s sake you don’t get it, do you?”  
Louis is so mad, how Harry cannot see it?  
“If I take the role I’ll have to go away, Harry. We won’t be able to see each other for weeks, maybe months. We’ve been lucky with these episodes because we’re filming in London. But next season can be set in Cardiff or Edinburgh or Russia or the fucking Moon.”  
“I don’t think they can film on the actual Moon, Louis.”  
Louis starts crying again, looking angrily at Harry. Why is he acting like this? Like he doesn’t care?  
“Babe,” Harry whispers trying to wipe Louis' tears away, cuddling him gently.  
“Harry, don’t babe me please. I can’t fucking breathe okay? I’m scared to go, I’ve been crying for two days straight. I avoided you because I… I feel like I don’t deserve anything at the moment, not your love anyway or anybody else’s,”  
“Are you talking about fans, love?” Harry breathes in his hair.  
Louis nods. Of course he’s talking about fans. He doesn’t like to be popular, never liked it and probably never will. Being in a worldwide famous tv show doesn’t help to stay anonymous.  
“This is your big dream, Louis,” Harry reminds him and Louis knows that, thank you very much.  
He puts his head in his hand, trying to be happy for himself, trying to not be so scared in front of something this huge, something he’s going to face by himself because Harry’s not going to be there to hold his hand.  
“I don’t know what to do,” he whispers, shaking his head, but Harry stops him.  
  
_“You tell me that you're sad and lost your way_  
_You tell me that your tears are here to stay_  
_But I know you were only hiding_  
_And I just wanna see ya.”_  
Harry removes Louis' hands from his face, kissing his tears away.

 _“You tell me that you're hurt and you're in pain_  
_And I can see your head is held in shame_  
_But I just wanna see you smile again_  
_See you smile again.”_  
Louis tries to smile but he really can’t. He feels so broken inside, like he can explode one second or another and blow up his entire existence.

 _“But don't burn out_  
_Even if you scream and shout_  
_It'll come back to you_  
_And I'll be here for you.”_  
Harry cups Louis’ jaw with his big hands, watching him straight in the eye, trying to make him understand he will always have his support, no matter what.

 _“Oh, I would carry you over fire and water for your love_  
_And I will hold you closer, hope your heart is strong enough”_  
_When the night is coming down on you_  
_We will find a way through the dark.”_  
More tears start to spill from Louis’ eyes because, fuck, he doesn’t feel ready to face what life is putting him through and Harry makes it sounds so easy instead…

 _“I wish that I could take you to the start_  
_I'd never let you fall and break your heart_  
_And if you wanna cry or fall apart,_  
_I'd be there to hold ya.”_  
Louis starts to let it go, he snuggles more into Harry’s arms, hugging his strong shoulders. He feels safe in Harry’s embrace, he feels like he can make it, change his bad star into a bright one.

 _“You tell me that you're hurt, it's all in vain_  
_But I can see your heart can love again_  
_And I remember you were laughing_  
_So let's just laugh again.”_  
“You better not make one of your lame puns then” Louis whispers and Harry grins because, yeah, he’s sassy boyfriend is coming back.

 _“But don't burn out even_  
_If you scream and shout_  
_It'll come back to you,_  
_Back to you.”_  
“I know, I’m shit at taking care of myself, that’s your job.”

 _“Oh, I would carry you over fire and water for your love_  
_And I will hold you closer, hope your heart is strong enough_  
_When the night is coming down on you_  
_We will find a way through the dark_  
_And you don't need, you don't need to run_  
_And you will see it's easy to be loved_  
_I know you want to be loved.”_  
“I already feel very loved Harry,” Louis smiles and Harry pecks his lips before ending the song in glory.

 _“Oh, I will carry you over fire and water for your love..._  
_Oh, I would carry you over fire and water for your love_  
_And I will hold you closer, hope your heart is strong enough_  
_When the night is coming down on you_  
_We will find a way through the dark.”_  
“I think I get it now Harry.”  
“Naaah, better sing it one more time.”

 _“Oh, I would carry you over fire and water for your love_  
_And I will hold you closer, hope your heart is strong enough_  
_When the night is coming down_  
_We will find a way through the dark.”_

As soon as the last note leaves Harry’s mouth, Louis kisses him, deep and hot and wow, he loves this singing thing so much, Harry’s always so passionate and clingy after singing.  
“Do you feel better now?” Harry asks and Louis can’t really say yes. He still feels a bit unsure, and very scared, but he doesn’t know if he wants to tell Harry that much.  
“Do you mind helping me rehearse my lines?” he demands instead.  
“I thought we’ve already studied your part for episode 11!”  
Louis smiles and grabs the script on his bedside table.  
“This is episode 12 though,” he grins and Harry looks so happy Louis has to kiss him on the spot.  
They hold onto the kiss longer than they ever had, desperate to feel each other after almost three days apart.  
“Our honeymoon phase’s officially back,” Louis laughs and goes back to kiss his boyfriend one more time, just in case the first two times weren’t enough (They weren’t).  
Louis fixes himself better onto Harry’s lap, his hands finding their place between his boyfriend’s soft curls, pulling at them here and there, making him moan everytime.  
Harry’s hands are under Louis’ tee, rubbing at his smooth skin and Louis loves how big they are, how they almost cover the whole small of his back.  
“Your collarbones are so sexy I swear,” Harry whines, biting at Louis’ neck, starting to suck a big bruise on it.  
Louis grinds down on Harry and they keep kissing and licking and rubbing onto each other for a while, mouths pink and swollen, hearts beating a bit too fast.  
“I love you so much,” Louis says, as he feels the orgasm build inside his belly, the friction between his and Harry’s cock driving him crazy.  
Louis shots inside his pants, shortly followed by Harry and they find themselves panting and smiling against each other’s shoulder.  
“Fuck,” Harry laughs and Louis can’t help but laugh with him.  
“Shower?” he asks and Harry nods, jumping out of the bed.  
“Let’s go” he says, grabbing Louis’s hand and leading them towards the bathroom.

***

Twenty minutes later, Louis’ sitting on the edge of the bathtub, wrapped up in a fluffy bathrobe and in the middle of the worst panic attack he’s ever had.  
Harry’s kneeled in front of him, trying to stabilize his breath by breathing with him.  
“Feel my breath love,” he encourages him, holding Louis’ hand against his chest “Inhale, exhale.”  
Louis tries to follow Harry’s instructions but his head won’t stop bothering him.  
Harry’s always there for him, dealing with his weirdness and his crisis and his whims and Louis is so lucky to have him in his life and he has never loved someone as much as he loves him.  
Still, something’s not quite right. He has all these stupid thoughts about his new job and the consequences of being famous and he doesn’t want to hurt Harry more than he already did, some wounds burn you from the inside and he can’t do this to him, he simply can’t.  
He screams, holding his head between his hand, while his fears reach their climax.

 _“I think I'm gonna lose my mind,_  
_Something deep inside me, I can't give up,_  
_I think I'm gonna lose my mind,_  
_I roll and I roll 'til I'm out of luck, yeah,_  
_I roll and I roll 'til I'm out of luck.”_  
Harry looks at him, worried and a bit confused, and Louis wants to punch himself in the face for scaring him so much in the past few days.  
He stands up, starting to pace the bathroom floor, full of anxiety and distress.

 _“I'm feeling something deep inside,_  
_Hotter than a jet stream burning up,_  
_I got a feeling deep inside,_  
_It's taking, it's taking all I got, yeah,_  
_It's taking, it's taking all I got.”_  
Harry’s hands reach Louis’ own, lacing their fingers together. Louis smiles and squeezes them tight, because he knows very well Harry needs physical contact when he’s worried or scared.

 _“'Cause nobody knows you, baby, the way I do,_  
_And nobody loves you, baby, the way I do,_  
_It's been so long, it's been so long, maybe you are fireproof,_  
_'Cause nobody saves me, baby, the way you do.”_  
That’s right. Having Harry beside him make him feel like he can finally face all of his fears and who cares, screw the world, Louis’ gonna fight his stupid mind once and for all.

 _“I think I'm gonna win this time,_  
_Riding on the wind and I won't give up,_  
_I think I'm gonna win this time,_  
_I roll and I roll, 'til I change my luck, yeah,_  
_I roll and I roll, 'til I change my luck.”_  
“You got it finally,” Harry smiles, his dimples showing for the first time that day and wow, Louis is so in love there’s no space for any other feeling.

 _“'Cause nobody knows you, baby, the way I do,_  
_And nobody loves you, baby, the way I do,_  
_It's been so long, it's been so long, you must be fireproof,_  
_'Cause nobody saves me, baby, the way you do.”_  
They kiss and it’s beautiful, because it doesn’t matter how many times life tries to put them down, they always find a way to make things better.

 _“'Cause nobody knows you, baby, the way I do,_  
_And nobody loves you, baby, the way I do,_  
_It's been so long, it's been so long, maybe you were fireproof,_  
_'Cause nobody saves me, baby, the way you do.”_  
Harry joins him in the last chorus and then they kiss again, deeply and happily and yeah, Louis’ still feeling like he’s about to explode and burn the world to ashes, but it doesn’t matter anymore, because his whole world is Harry, and, well, Harry is definitely fireproof.


	4. Tears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I’m late, but this has been the most painful thing I have ever wrote and I don’t even know how I made it to the end without melting in tears. I’m sorry. It’s just one song because physically I’m fine, emotionally I’m bruised.  
> Song for this chapter: Spaces

Louis’ laying on the sofa, head resting in Harry’s lap, his boyfriend petting his hair slowly.  
He likes days like these. Days when he’s not busy with interviews and photoshoots and merch promo and all that PR stuff he really doesn’t like at all.  
He’s had maybe three days off in the last few months, and he’s feeling a bit overwhelmed about everything’s happened to him since his first appearance on Doctor Who.  
The show’s last two episodes rated 11,2M viewers with a peak of 15M in the last ten minutes of episode 12, when Clara leaves the T.A.R.D.I.S. for good and the Doctor asks Larken to join him in his adventures.

His twitter followers reached 2M in the span of a week and Louis has felt really lost for a few days, but know he’s pretty happy of the choice he made.  
He loves filming, being on set, running through the scenes and the costumes, and he really doesn’t care they sometimes have to shoot for 11-12 hours a day with basically no rest. It’s the dream of his life coming true, and the only thing that still makes him feel a bit sad is that he and Harry haven’t had a proper date since all the fuss started.  
Everywhere Louis goes, someone recognizes him and asks him for autographs, pictures, videos… most of them are girls, but he can proudly say he has a pretty gender mixed fanbase.

The thing everyone, from fans to journalists to his co-stars and even the crew, want to know is whether he has a girlfriend or not.  
Louis’ always hated heteronormativity. Why do people have to assume everyone is straight until proven otherwise? The right question should have been: “Are you in a relationship?” but no one has ever asked that.  
He’s a bit tired of always answering the same stupid questions about the kind of girl he likes, what girls have to do to get to his heart, where is his ideal place for a date… He has already been linked to Jenna Coleman on two separate occasions, and to a model he has seen once outside a restaurant and whose name he really doesn’t remember. He denied everything of course, but it still seems like the only thing people really care about is if he’s taken or not.

And he is, he is very much in love and he has the most amazing boyfriend in the world.

When he told that much to his PR and Management though, they suggested him to not come out yet. His career has just started and gay rumours aren’t worldwide accepted yet, so they told him it’d be better for him to put up a face and give journalists, fans and bloggers the most evasive answers he can come up with.  
Media training sucks. Louis hates it more than he ever thought was possible for him to hate anything. They taught him how to move, how to talk, which words he can or cannot use and how often he can use the allowed terms in a speech. He learned how not to look directly into cameras while doing the scheduled pap walks, so the pics would seem more “stolen” and not fabricated on purpose.  
It’s exhausting and sometimes all he wants to do is to curl up in a ball, snuggle himself into Harry’s warmth and stay there for the rest of his life.

The only person he can talk freely is Nick, who became pretty famous himself and he’s currently co-hosting the breakfast show on Radio BBC 1.  
They talked a lot about this coming out situation and Nick agreed that it’s too risky to drop something this huge at the very beginning of his career. If people in the industry start to see him just as “the gay guy” who only fits in “gay roles”, the world will never see how versatile and talented he actually is.  
Louis knows Harry understands all of this and supports him 100%, but still he feels awfully guilty to have basically forced him back in the closet and he’s planning to make it up to him very soon.

At the moment he’s halfway through the filming of DW’s next season and in the middle of the promo tour. They’re going to be off set for 6 weeks but his schedule is already full of events and tv-shows and photo-shoots and all sort of promo stuff his and The Doctor’s PR can come up with.  
The worst thing, anyway, are the paparazzi. He’s never seen Harry as angry as he was when they cornered him on his way to his music class, dropping a lot of questions about how he and Louis met and what’s the nature of their relationship.  
“We’re friends since high school, that’s all,” Harry has answered, before running away as fast as he could.  
Louis’ management had partially media trained Louis’ friends during a long meeting a week before his episodes went live, so Harry knows exactly how to handle paps, but Zayn told him he has started to avoid them like the plague, he has even skipped his classes a few times because the campus was packed with cameras and mics. Thank God they haven’t found the loft yet, though Louis’ pretty sure Zayn’s dad has a lot to do with that.

Paps and journalists have been in Manchester too, to visit their old school and interview their families and old friends. Luckily nobody outed them, mostly because many of the students that were in school with them have already graduated or are attending their last year and Louis’ sure Principal James gave them a good talk as soon as Louis became famous. Stan and Laura talked about how great Louis was, funny and amazing, and how thanks to him the Drama Club had the most amazing productions ever but, when asked about his love life, they dodged the question in such a great way that Louis has sent them a present per day for a whole month.  
The person they were more afraid of was Amanda Clark, but Johanna told them she had a psychic breakdown when she found out her sons aren’t as straight as she thought they were. Actually Robert is gay while Ethan is pansexual, which cheers to them for have being able to come out to that monster mother they have.  
Gossip magazines are also talking about Louis and Nick’s friendship a lot and some pictures of them at school have been on the internet for a while now. Of course Harry, Stan, Liam, Zayn and Niall appears in a lot of them, so people know their faces and how they are a very closed group of friends.

This has been a lot to cope with and Louis knows Harry’s being stoic, but he also knows how much he’s suffering deep inside, and that’s why he came up with an amazing plan to take his boy very far from all this shit.  
Louis has already booked flights and a bungalow near the beach in the most exotic place he could come up with which has a flight leaving in the middle of the night, just to be sure to avoid paps and fans and be just Louis and Harry on a last minute holiday.  
But there’s something else he has to tell Harry first.  
“Babe,” Louis says and Harry smiles, still petting his hair, looking at him fondly.  
“Yes?” Harry asks and Louis smiles back because he knows Harry will be very happy for this surprise, not as much as he’s going to be for their trip but close enough.  
“I have something to give you,” he whispers  
“And what would that be?” Harry murmurs back, probably catching a sexual innuendo which is not there but Louis can provide that later.  
“Look in my back pocket,” he smirks.  
Harry’s big hands cup his bum and squeeze, before retrieving a red card from the pocket.  
Harry reads the card and his smile becomes immediately wider, his eyes shining.  
“Is this what I think it is?”  
“Yes”  
“Oh My God Louis, thank you so so much, this means a lot to me.”  
Harry kisses him like nothing else matters in the world and Louis feels so happy and whole that he doesn’t realise something about his boyfriend is completely off.

Harry looks at the red pass for the Alan “Chatty Man” Carr show and tries to be happy and excited for real, but he can’t. He has all these mixed feelings about Louis and his new career. As predicted, since Louis started filming for the Doctor Who’s new season, they have barely seen each other, stolen moments here and there, hidden from sight. Whenever they have been spotted together, whether on set or around the streets, Harry has been introduced as “My best friend” or “my mate” and going back in the closet, after years of being out and proud, has been a bit unsettling for him.  
He’s never said anything to Louis though, mostly because he didn’t want to ruin his bubble of happiness, so he kept everything to himself, he hasn’t even talked to Niall or Zayn about it.  
He feels like shit though, like he and Louis are drifting apart inch by inch, but he can’t even imagine living without him, so he keeps his mouth shut and smiles as much as he can.  
And smiling is exactly what he’s doing now, hugging the love of his life as tight as he can, kissing him like it’s the last time, and everytime it feels like it is.

Harry has a lot going on in his own life too and he tried to talk to Louis about it, but everytime his boyfriend comes up with some funny story about his day on set and how great it is to interact with his co-starts and crew and Harry really loves to listen to him ranting about his life. His favourite story is the one where Peter Capaldi had to take the same scene 34 times because he laughed so hard at one of Louis’ jokes, he couldn’t stay serious for more than a second in the middle of a very tragic moment.  
Louis is so happy he literally shines. He was born to do exactly what he’s doing right now and Harry doesn’t want to interfere, so that’s why he never really tried to talk about what's going on in his life. He’s not proud of it, hiding things from Louis is hard and he feels uncomfortable, but the more he thinks about it the more he’s sure he can’t tell him anything at the moment.

In the past few months Harry has worked hard on his music, spending days and nights writing, a cascade of words and notes flowing through him like they never did before. Somehow Louis’ absence has triggered his artistic streak and he wrote enough songs for him to be able to release an entire album on the spot.  
Harry did a few gigs too, mostly filling in DJ Malik’s schedule, covering for him here and there , giving him the opportunity to spend more time with Niall when he needed to.  
His gigs went so well, he’s seriously thinking of making a full time job and building a career out of it.  
And that’s why he hasn’t told Louis. His boyfriend has a lot of connections with famous people now, and Harry doesn’t want to start his career because he has a famous boyfriend who can pull some strings for him. He can actually picture Louis jumping around and making a list of people to call, while tweeting youtube links and lines from his lyrics.  
_*Go follow my dear friend @Harry_Styles and listen to his music please, you won’t regret it*_  
Harry can’t even think about it. He is cool with his 7K followers who like him very much and he really doesn’t want Louis to help him.  
Also “dear friend” sounds so wrong. Harry hates it when Louis calls him like that way in front of other people.  
“Dear friend my ass,” he mutters, catching Louis’ attention.  
“Have you said something, love?” he asks, completely oblivious.  
Sometimes Harry wishes he could disappear into thin air, wondering if Louis would notice that.  
“Nothing babe,” he replies, trying to smile as big as he can.  
Louis stands up from the sofa just to climb back onto Harry’s lap. He cups his face and kisses him deeply and fiercely, licking inside his mouth, fingers tangled between his curls.  
“I love you so much,” Louis says “you are my world, please, remember that.”  
Harry shivers, butterflies flying wildly inside his belly, and for the first time in months he feels Louis’ love all around him, like a fluffy blanket made to keep him safe.  
“I love you too,” he replies and they go back to kissing, like nothing else matters but them.

***

The next day Louis is busy with some photoshoot and Harry is in his professor’s room, talking to him about a party for his wife, who happens to be a great fan of Harry’s songs.  
“She literally went crazy when she listened to the few tracks we recorded last month.” Mr. Bunetta says, his eyes shining. “She told me that she wants you to perform at her birthday party next Saturday and I told her I would have asked you.”  
Harry smiles at him and agrees on the spot. He likes Julian very much. He’s very young and a bit wild, with a great taste in music and he helped Harry with his songs so much he could easily be listed as co-author.  
“Yeah, of course!!! It’ll be an honour for me to perform for your charming wife.”  
“Ehi,” Julian protested “She’s private property, I warn you.”  
Harry laughs, showing him the promise ring Louis has bought with his first BBC pay check, and that he wears proudly on his right hand middle finger.  
“I’m pretty much taken,” he smiles, winking at Julian.  
“Oh yes!! Your famous boyfriend!!!” the professor giggles.  
  
Harry is about to make a joke about it, when Julian becomes suddenly serious. “Let’s make a bet,” he says, taking Harry’s curiosity at the highest level.  
“I bet that a year from now you’ll be more famous than Louis” he smirks , waiting for his student reaction.  
“Wow,” Harry exclaims “That’s a huge statement, sir.”  
“No, it’s not. I’ve been thinking about this for a while and I think you have a great talent and that you can really make it out there.”  
Harry turns into a tomato and Julian laughs at him out loud, gaining a slap on his shoulder.  
“I’m sorry,” Julian apologizes, trying to contain his burst of laughter, wiping away happy tears from his eyes.  
Then a shadow crosses Harry’s face, just for a second, but long enough for the professor to notice.  
“What’s wrong?” he inquires, scanning Harry’s face, searching for answers.  
The curly boy shakes his head, trying to pull himself together, but a silent tear’s already slipped from his eyelashes and he feels like many more are coming behind that first one.  
“Oh My God, Harry!!” Julian exclaims, grabbing a pack of tissues and handling it to his student “here, blow your nose.”  
Harry does as he’s told, trying to calm down enough to explain his reaction to his professor.  
“Go wash your face,” Julian suggests “I’ll make tea in the meanwhile.”  
Harry smiles at him and reaches for the bathroom, thinking about how Julian’s statement hit him, like a punch straight on his face.  
The fact is that he would love being as famous as Louis is. He would love singing for a lot of people and having the whole world listening to his songs. He would love making people happy with his music. But more than everything he wants to share that with the love of his life.

A few minutes later he’s lying on a sofa while Julian is roleplaying a psychiatrist, and Harry thinks he’s most likely going to die laughing right here right now, since his respectable and severe professor took some fake moustaches out of nowhere and he’s wearing them very proudly.  
“C’mon Styles, spit it out,” Julian encourages him.  
Harry takes a big breath. It’s time to let his sorrows out once and for all.  
“I’m scared I’m losing Louis day by day,” he states, waiting for his professor’s reaction, but Julian stays silent, giving him just a little nod.  
“We had our routine, you know? We waited for each other to come home, we fell asleep together, we never went to bed angry, even during our biggest fights, we’ve always made it up before the day ended. Now everything’s different, I can barely talk to him, sometimes I don’t even know what to say. I have all this big project for my future and I’ve never told him anything. And he’s never asked once, I promise you, he’s never asked me what I did or where I was in detail, he’s always being okay with a short answer. Sometimes I think he doesn’t see me anymore and all I want is to share my fears for my future with him, but he’s so busy and back in the closet and I feel so lost right now…”  
Harry’s back to cry again. He feels like shit, like it’s too much for him to bear.  
“Why haven’t you told him about your gigs and your plans?” Julian asks and Harry’s not sure how to answer this without sounding like an ungrateful unsupportive asshole.  
“I don’t want his help,” Harry replies, voice small and shaken. “I know him, he tends to overreact at big news and I’m sure that as soon as I tell him he’d be talking about calling in favours to introduce me to the ‘right people’ or give me the money to produce my album or stuff like that.”  
Harry takes another breath, this is harder than he thought it would be.  
“You know, someone could think this is awesome and that I’m a fool because I’m not asking him to do it, but I want to make it on my own. I want people to like me for who I am and not because I’m Louis Tomlinson’s boyfriend. And I want to go big and be as famous as he’s going to be, so when we’ll come out it’ll be so epic people will tell our story to their grandchildren”  
Julian smiles wide and Harry feels a bit stupid for what he’s just said but that’s his dream and he wants to make it real in his own terms.  
“Have you tried to tell this to Louis?” the professor asks and Harry frowns.  
“Tell him what? That I don’t want his help?”  
“No you idiot. That you want to make it on your own and that sweet dream of yours. If he loves you as much I think he does he won’t interfere.”  
“Maybe…”  
Harry really wants to talk to Louis right now but he’s going to be very busy so he will have to wait for the right moment and tell him the truth.  
“Okay no more secrets,” Harry states and Julian hugs him, patting his back and sticking his stupid moustache on Harry’s face, laughing like the child he really is.

A few day passed and Harry has never found the chance to talk to Louis. He tried a couple of times, three or four actually, but he never succeeded once.  
His main feeling at the moment is that Louis thinks his life is more interesting than Harry’s and he doesn’t even try to listen to him.  
Harry knows this isn’t even remotely true, but he feels lost and angry and he needs someone to talk to who can understand the feeling of standing by someone who’s famous and busy as Louis is.  
And that’s why he is sitting on his bed, having a skype call with Calvin Harris from high school, talking about Taylor Swift and how she almost drove him mad last year.  
After graduation, Taylor moved to US with a scholarship for cheerleading ,and they had a very bad break-up before she left. They stayed apart for almost a year, until Calvin took a plane and showed up at her door in the middle of the night begging for forgiveness.  
What he has in common with Harry, though, is that Taylor is almost as famous as Louis. In the past three years she became pretty famous overseas, singing her break up songs on youtube and gaining a lot of fans. In a very short time the self-centred Prom Queen turned into an icon to all the heartbroken girls of America, with a couple of songs already on top of all the US charts and, as soon as her album will be released, Harry’s pretty much sure she will conquer the world.  
That’s why Calvin’s situation is pretty much the same as Harry’s. He has to hide his relationship to the public (The Queen of Heartbroken Girls can’t be seen in a happy and fully committed relationship, can she?) and he has to deal with Taylor’s too full schedule every day. Plus, he has his own ambitions too, since he’s trying to become a music producer and he’s doing a pretty good job at it.  
“She wrote a song about you, you know?” Calvin drops and Harry opens his eyes wide.  
“Me? Really?”  
“Yeah, but since Louis became that famous she decided to not release it. She doesn’t want to out him while outing you, so she said she’ll wait until you’ll out yourselves by saying something very stupid on national television.”  
Harry laughs because despite three years without seeing each other, Taylor still knows them incredibly well.  
“She’s also removed our school name from her official bio, so she won’t be linked to Louis. I saw her in a couple of those old pics that had been published at Christmas, but I doubt anyone would recognize her.”  
“Wow, that’s.. wow. Tell her she’s amazing and very cute.”  
“I will.”  
They ended the call, promising to catch up again very soon, and Harry feels a bit more confident about his own future, even though he still wants to talk to Louis as soon as possible. He wants to ask him to come to Mrs. Bunetta’s birthday as his date and he can’t explaining why he’s going to perform there without telling him everything. Also Julian mentioned that his wife has this cousin she likes a lot who is in the music field and he wants to introduce him to Harry and Harry is so nervous he’s not sure he can do it on his own.

***

The filming for the Chatty Man’s show will start in a couple of hours and Louis and Harry are sitting in the back of a huge black suv, far away from the studios’ gates, where a little crowd of people has gathered, waiting for their idols to make their appearance.  
“You’ve got your pass?” Louis asks and Harry nods, showing him the red card.  
“I’m a bit nervous,” he says, and Harry hugs him.  
“I need to ask you something,” Harry starts and Louis looks at him through his eyelashes, making his heart skip a beat.  
“I… uhm… Saturday is mr. Bunetta’s wife’s birthday and he’s throwing a party for her and I… uhm… I was wondering if you can be my date…”  
Harry’s so nervous he’s literally torturing his own fingers, waiting for Louis reply.  
“I have to check with my management Harry. Mrs Bunetta is a Duchess or something, right? So there might be paps at her party… I’m not sure If I’m allowed to be there.”  
“Oh okay… yeah, I… I can totally understand that, I shoud have asked you earlier.”  
“No baby, it’s not a big deal really. Plus it’s just a party, isn’t it? We’ll have a proper date very soon, I promise.”  
Harry wants so badly to tell him that no, it's not just a party, that this is going to be the day that can change his life once and for all, but no, Louis' so far up his own arse that he hasn't asked him about his song in month. Harry feels so angry and lost and sad and heartbroken, and wants to yell at Louis so much, but then his boyfriend takes out his phone and starts arguing with his manager about wanting to go to the party anyway and that he doesn’t care about the public opinion, if he wants to go out with his boyfriend he will and they can shut the fuck up. Harry loves him so much and he doesn’t really know how he can go on like this any longer, craving for Louis’ attention like a starving man craves for food.

“I have to go now, love,” Louis says.  
They can’t arrive together of course, so Louis is going to drop Harry here and he’s going to reach the studios on his own.  
They kiss and Harry leans into Louis, inhaling his scent.  
“Take me with you,” he begs in a whisper, hoping for Louis to lie and say yes just for the sake of it.  
“You know I can’t,” Louis says and Harry looks sadly at him, completely at loss for words.  
“Please Harry, smile at me,” his boyfriend asks but Harry has no strength for it.  
“I don’t know If I can” he murmurs, his words covered by Louis’ ringtone.  
“Sorry love, I really have to go. See you in there okay?”  
They kiss and Harry gets off the car, looking as the love of his life drives away from him.  
“You wouldn’t see me even if I was actually there,” he states, and walks away, tears rolling down his cheeks, his voice broken, sadness almost overwhelming him when, all of a sudden, he starts to sing.

 

 _“Who's gonna be the first one to start the fight_  
_Who's gonna be the first one to fall asleep at night_  
_Who's gonna be the last one to drive away_  
_Who's gonna be the last one to forget this place.”_  
Harry’s walking towards the nearest tube station, thinking about how many times through the years they had fights around nothing, mostly because they haven’t talked to each other about what was really going on in their lives. An now it’the same, Harry’s keeping things from Louis and he’s pretty sure Louis’ doing the same with him.

 _“We keep taking turns_  
_Oho-oho-oh_  
_Will we ever learn”._  
Apparently they haven’t learned a single damn thing, because they’re still not talking and Harry’s running away, in the deepest overdramatic Tomlinson’s way.

 _“Ooh spaces between us keep getting deeper_  
_It's harder to reach ya even though I try.”_  
He turns to look at the gates, at the people waiting for Louis to look at them and Harry feels small and sad because Louis is so far away that maybe he’s already lost him for good.

 _“Spaces between us hold all our secrets_  
_Leaving us speechless and I don't know why_  
_Who's gonna be the first to say goodbye.”_  
Harry knows it’s going to be him because he’s suddenly feeling the urge to pack his stuff and go back to Manchester without saying a word.

 _“Who's gonna be the first one to compromise_  
_Who's gonna be the first one to set it all on fire_  
_Who's gonna be the last one to drive away_  
_Forgetting every single promise we ever made.”_  
Harry’s arrives home and he’s so wrecked he hasn’t even the strength to change his clothes. He throws himself on the bed, crying, waiting for Louis to text him after the filming to tell him he won’t be home that night and that he will call him tomorrow.

 _“Ooh spaces between us keep getting deeper_  
_It's harder to reach ya even though I try_  
_Spaces between us hold all our secrets_  
_Leaving us speechless and I don't know why_  
_Who's gonna be the first to say goodbye.”_  
And Harry’s not going to be home. As soon as Louis texts, and he’s damn sure he will, Harry’s going to take his things and go away.

 _“We keep taking turns_  
_Will we ever learn_  
_When will we learn.”_  
Harry’s feeling so stupid and deluded and why is he even being so overdramatic right now he really doesn’t know. The only thing that he knows is that he misses Louis so much he can physically feel his heart breaking inside his chest.

 _“Ooh spaces between us keep getting deeper_  
_It's harder to reach ya even though I try_  
_Spaces between us hold all our secrets_  
_Leaving us speechless and I don't know why_  
_Who's gonna be the first to say goodbye_  
_Who's gonna be the first to say goodbye.”_  
And on that last note he falls asleep, all dressed, over the blankets, waiting for his love to save the day because he has no strength left to fight for it.


	5. Changes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this Chapter: Strong and Happily  
> Please sing along for a full experience  
> Special Guest Star: Alan Carr 
> 
> Sorry it took me forever to write this, but it's over 8k words and I had to struggle with a crying Harry again, so yeah, sorry folks, hope you'll like it!!!!

Louis enters the studio in need of a shower, the mob outside still screaming his and Larken’s names out loud. He signed autographs and took pictures and smiled so much he’s already tired of being there.  
An assistant leads him towards the hair and make-up station and he sits on the comfortable chair, waiting for the staff to take care of him.  
He takes out his phone to text Harry and check on him, to see if he is already inside the building or still outside, waiting for the studio assistants to take the audience in.

Louis’ so excited for Harry to be there, he’s barely capable of containing himself. He can’t wait to sit on the Chatty Man’s sofa and send subtle glances at Harry at every pun or joke Peter, Alan and him are going to make about Russell and Steven’s writing. Or clothes. Or faces.  
Louis giggles by himself, while typing fast on his phone, adding a lot of Xs and smiling emojis and more Xs at the end of the text, feeling a bit silly, but really happy because he’s about to share something huge with Harry and he can’t wait for it.

A few minutes later he checks his phone, noticing that whattsapp hadn’t sent his text yet, the clock still there, in the corner, grey, sad and disappointing.  
“There’s no reception in here,” the hairstylist informs him and Louis stands up immediately. He needs to find a better spot as fast as he can, but the woman brings him back to his chair, ordering him to stay put, making clear he can’t leave until he’s ready for filming.  
“What if I have to pee?” he complains and the stylist laughs out loud, while fixing his quiff.  
“I’m sorry, but you’ll have to hold it until I’m finished,” she smirks and Louis pouts dramatically, making her cackle again.  
“Who are you trying to text, anyway?” she asks, spraying water on the back of his head to fix some of his wild locks.  
“My bo- mate. One of my mates. He’s going to be in the audience.”  
The woman looks at him in the mirror and smiles.  
“You can say ‘boyfriend’, there’s no reason to hide that here.”  
“But my managers…” Louis starts but she shuts him off.  
“Yeah, they talk a lot of shit. All the staff here is overpaid and very happy with their job. Also all of us have signed a non disclosure agreement, so I couldn’t talk about your boyfriend even if I wanted to. Just like I can’t talk about other celebrities’ stuff. I've seen things you people wouldn't believe.”  
“Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion?” Louis replies, completing the quote from Blade Runner, making the girl laugh again.  
“I’m Lou,” she introduces herself, smiling wide.  
“Oh! So am I,” Louis giggles, eyes wide and cheeks tinted pink. This is the beginnning of a great friendship, he’s pretty sure about that.

Thirty minutes later, Louis is finally free to leave the capable hands of his new friend and reach the spot where Lou told him he can have a good reception, and finally text Harry.  
He’s on his way, when two hands grab him out of the blue, throwing him into a room. A few minutes later he’s exchanging very bored glances with Peter, while they’re being held prisoners of their managers, reading through the screenplay for the interview and he really really needs to go and text Harry before they make him turn off his phone.  
Since Harry has to stay in the studio until they had filmed the whole Chatty Man episode, they had planned to see each other at home once Harry’s done with his audience duty and have dinner together.  
What Harry doesn’t know, though, is that Louis has planned to invite Peter, Russell and Steven to join them, so he can properly introduce him to his collegues, mostly because he’s tired of hiding his amazing, wonderful, beautiful, handsome boyfriend from everyone, and he would very much like for them to know how great he is. He needs to tell Harry to come home as soon as he can and also that his management allowed him to go to Mrs Bunetta’s party, provided that they arrive early and leave as late as they can.  
He’s really happy he can finally spend some quality time with the love of his life!! On Saturday they’re going to attend a very fancy party, where Louis will tell Harry about their trip. After that, they will spend their Sunday packing and cuddling and possibly fucking multiple times and then go out just in time to catch their 6.35 flight from Gatwick to Mikonos and join the Mile High Club once and for all.

“LOUIS!”  
His manager’s voice echoed in the room, diverting him from his happy train of thoughts.  
“Yes, Alex?” he says, fluttering his eyelashes and putting up a very innocente face.  
“Oh c’mon,” the woman laughs at him “you know it doesn’t work with me.”  
“You can’t blame a guy for trying,” he giggles back, finally entirely focused on the meeting.  
“We were talking about Alan’s questions. Are you sure you don’t want to change anything? Like, I don’t know, questions about your love affairs, or that video from High School?”  
Louis frowns.  
“Wait, which one?”  
Alex smirks and gives him her phone. Louis stares at the screen for a while, smiling softly.  
Louis and his friends were sitting on a stair, inside their school, releasing an interview for the school tumblr.  
He was on the first step, next to Harry, with Zayn and Niall right behind them and Liam on top. They all look so young, Louis’ pretty sure it was from the very beginning of the year, when Larry Stylinson was still a newborn gossip and everyone wanted to know about them and their relationship.  
Louis was blindfolded (Why? He doesn’t even remember) and was eskimo kissing Harry, whose smile was so sweet and tender, it looked like having their noses rubbing gently was the best thing ever happened to him.  
It’s too personal, too intimate, and his friends’ faces are on display, it’s not okay for him to expose them like this.  
“I think it would be better if we skip this one? I mean, my friends aren’t part of the jet-set and I don’t think they would like this kind of exposure… I can ask them and maybe we can use it the next time? Is it a problem?”  
Alan looks at Louis and shakes his head.  
“No it’s not, love,” he smiles “I understand why you want to keep these hot shots under the radar…”  
Louis laughs and Alan winks at him. It’s going to be a great interview.

***

Harry’s not in the audience.  
Louis keeps sending glances to the few people in the studio, but his curly boy is not in sight. He tries to be the most professional he can, but he’s properly freaking out. He wishes he could ask to stop filming and just go outside to call his boyfriend, but he knows he can’t. He needs to focus on the interview, just 30 minutes and then he can run outside as fast as he can to call Harry and check on him… fucking hell, he is so worried he can barely spell his own name, how is he supposed to pay attention at the stupid interview?  
His mind is making up the worst scenarios ever, a big truck running over Harry while he was crossing the road, bad guys dressed like ninjas kidnapping him and keeping him captive in a secret prison under the Tower of London and other scenes, each crazier than the other.

Alan starts pouring them some cocktails and he drinks his right away, trying again to focus on his answers. The interview progresses slowly and Louis' anxiety keeps increasing by the second, until Peter notices something's off.  
“What’s wrong with you?” he hisses, his voice covered by Russell and Steven laughing loudly at one of Alan’s jokes.  
Louis looks at Peter and sighs heavily.  
“Harry’s not here,” he hisses back and Peter’s eyes go wide, as he looks frantically at the audience.  
Alan starts to talk to Louis again and Peter takes the chance to fill Steven and Russell in on what's going on.  
“Shit,” Steven murmurs and they all sigh, mostly because there’s really nothing they can do at the moment, just support Louis and help him go through the interview without crashing on himself.

Half of an hour later, Alan dismissed them and Louis climbs the iconic ladder two steps at once, running as fast as he can, until he reaches the studio backyard, hiding himself among the cars parked there.  
Louis dials Harry’s number but it goes straight to voicemail.  
He tries again and again, but the mechanincal voice keeps answering him.  
Next in line is Zayn. He calls him right away, but his friend says he doesn’t know where Harry is and that he hasn’t seen him since that morning at home.  
Louis growls in frustration, while calling Niall.  
“Hullo Lou, wassup?” the Irish lad answers him, all cheerful and happy.  
Louis wants to strangle him.  
“Niall, I lost Harry.”  
He hears something crashing on the floor and Niall screaming in pain.  
“What do you mean you lost Harry?” he shouts, Louis’ eardrums reverbering at the sound.  
“I left him outside the studio but he wasn’t in the audience, his phone is off, I don’t know what to do Niall.”  
“Take a deep breath Louis,” Niall suggests “Since I’ve just come home I don’t know if he’s here. I’m going upstairs to check if he’s in your room, but I can’t take the phone off charge because the battery is too low. Just hold on a sec, okay?”  
“Please let him be safe, please,” Louis prays, eyes closed, tears already pouring down his cheeks, while he listens carefully to Niall’s footsteps as they fade away in the distance.

It took ages for Niall to come back on the phone, or at least they felt like ages to Louis.  
His heart skips a beat when he hears someone jumping down the stairs.  
“Lou!”  
Niall’s panting slightly, but his voice sounds clear and calm.  
“Is he there?” Louis asks in earnest, scared and worried as he’s never been in his whole life.  
“Yes, Harry’s upstair, asleep in your bed,” his friend states and Louis starts to properly breathe again.  
“Is he okay?”  
“I don’t know actually… he looked like he cried himself to sleep, his phone was on the floor, battery completely gone.”  
Louis starts to panic, his hands shaking so much he can barely hold his phone.  
“I…” he starts “I have to come home… now. I have to come home but I can’t. I have a meeting and I can’t skip it, right? I just can’t… but I have to come home, Niall what do I have to do?”  
A hand on his shoulder startles him for a second, until he sees it’s Peter, who’s smiling at him, eyes crinkling under his big eyebrows.  
“Go home Louis, we’ll cover for you with the producers,” he says, pointing at himself, Russell and Steven.  
Louis looks at them like they were three angels, normal angels, not the wheeping kind, and he jumps at them, chatching them in a group hug.  
“I’m coming home Niall. Please be sure Harry doesn’t wake up and leave.” he smiles into the phone and runs towards the exit, feeling happy and strong because Harry is safe and that’s the only thing that matters.

***  
Louis enters his room quietly, shoes in hand, feet naked on the parquet floor.  
He leaves his shoes near the door, waiting for his eyes to adjust to the dimlights. Harry is curled up on himself, over the blankets, hair partially covering his face.

Louis touches his arm, his skin is cold against his hand, and he realises his curly boy is shivering in his sleep.  
He picks up their black&white plaid from the floor, covering his boyfriend from neck to toe, rubbing gently at his arms, making Harry hum in relief.  
Louis curls his pinky finger around one of Harry’s chocolate locks, tucking it behind his ear as he starts to caress his hair, whispering Harry’s name a few times, trying to wake him up as gently as he can.  
Harry starts to move slowly, eyes still closed, breath uneven, lips slightly parted and he is so beautiful, Louis can’t help but kiss his pink plump sleepy mouth.  
Herry melts into Louis’ touch, kissing him back right away, lacing his arms around his neck.  
Louis smiles against Harry’s mouth and he’s about to deepen the kiss when he feels his boyfriend freeze, before pushing him away.

“W-what are you doing?” Harry asks and his voice sounds so little and scared, Louis feels sick at his heart.  
He reaches for Harry’s hands and when his boyfriend let him lace their fingers together, the blue-eyed boys lets go a breath he didn’t know he was holding back.  
“I’m sorry,” Harry whispers and Louis gives him a tentative smile, looking at him through his eyelashes in a way he knows Harry likes a lot.  
“What happened?” Louis asks but it comes out harsher than he intended, making him realise that he’s a lot less worried and much more angry with his boyfriend than he thought. He scared the hell out of him and he really doesn’t understand why he ran away from the studio in the first place.  
Harry lets go of his hands and moves against the headboard, a leg under his bum and a very sad look on his face.  
Louis places himself in front of him, legs crossed, elbows planted on his knees, chin resting on his palms, ready to listen to whatever excuse Harry’s going to come up with to justify his horrible behaviour.  
Louis can’t believe how much he has freaked out earlier when he should have found Harry and yell at him instead, because normal people don’t act like that, they don’t leave their boyfriend alone without any warning in a tv studio, with the risk to jepoardize his entire career.  
He’s about to say this much to him, when Harry takes a deep breath, exhaling slowly, and looks at him straight in the eye.

“I feel so fucking alone Louis,” he cries, tears rolling down his cheeks, his hands torturing the hem of his white T-shirt.  
Okay, Louis definitely didn’t see this coming.  
“Y-you feel… what… why? How?”  
Louis knows he’s babbling, but he really doesn’t know what to say. He was ready for “I got scared,” or “My professor called me in,” or shit like that and now he’s a bit lost.  
He looks at his boyfriend and all he can see is how hurt he is, how much pain is visibile on his handsome face.  
“You’ve been away for months Louis and I was okay with that, you were working and we talked everyday and everytime we saw each other it was so great to be finally together, the only thing I could think of was kissing you senseless. But, month by month, our life became a lot less about us and a lot more about you.”  
“That’s not true, I-” Louis tries to defend himself, but Harry stops him.  
“When’s the last time you asked me about my music?”  
Louis doesn’t have an answer. He actually doesn’t remember it, how could that happened? He knows Harry’s songs by heart, he can sing them all. The reason he knows them, though, is because Niall sent him the videos of Harry’s gigs. He had never talked to Harry about it, not directly. He talked with Niall and Zayn and also with Liam a couple of times. But never with Harry.  
He needs to make it up to him, right here, right now, and there’s only one way he can do that.

He takes his phone and plays one of Harry’s videos.  
Harry looks at the screen in disbelief, eyes impossibly wide, even more when his boyfriend starts to sing along with one of his most recent songs.

 _“… Just how fast the night changes,”_ Louis sings _“… It would never change me and you …”_

“You know this song?” Harry inquires, Louis’ soft voice still echoing inside his head.  
“I do. I know all your songs and I love all of them because I can feel us in every word and note. I listen to the mp3 I made from the videos everytime I feel lost and I miss you so much I can’ even breathe properly.”  
Harry looks at his hands, peacefully resting in his lap, not daring to look at Louis because he’s pretty sure he will burst into tears again at the mere sight of the blue in his eyes.  
“You’ve never told me that,” he murmurs and a strand of guilt crosses his mind. He should have talked to Louis sooner, but he can fix this. They can fix it.  
“Fuck, I’m so sorry Harry,” Louis howls in frustration, pressing the heels of his hands on his eyes, and Harry feels the urge to hug him and kiss him and comfort him as much as he can, but they still have a lot to talk about, so he has to wait just a bit more for that.  
“I thought you didn’t want me anymore…”  
It’s Louis’ turn to open his eyes impossibly wide, looking at his boyfriend in complete disbelief .  
“Where in hell did you get that idea???”

Harry frowns.  
Louis seems genuinely surprised and it’s clear he didn’t mean to hurt Harry but still he can’t see how much he has felt left behind in the past few months.  
“Multiple reasons, I guess,” he starts, not sure where he’s going to go, but he want to take everything out once and for all.  
“First, maybe you didn’t notice, but in the past… I don’t know, 10 months? Maybe? Anyway, for almost a year, every conversation we had was about you and only you. You stopped asking me about my life pretty fast, like yours is so interesting that mine disappears in comparison.”  
“That’s not true, I…” Louis tries, but Harry stops him.  
“Let me finish. Second, I get the closet thing, I really understand why you have to stay there for a bit more, but everytime you introduced me as ‘your mate’ I felt like I was nothing more than that. I feel so invisible sometimes, like you can’t see me. And when I left the studio, earlier, I was damn sure you weren’t going to even notice I was missing.”  
Louis swallows , his face unreadable.  
“Is there a third?” he asks, no inflection colouring his tone, like he’s just waiting for Harry to finish, before leaving him for good.  
Harry’s scared as hell, but he has to finish his speech,to take it all out, if this is going to end he wants to end it right.  
“Yes there is. When I told you about Mrs Bunetta’s invitation you called it ‘just a party’ but you didn’t even bother to ask me why it was so important to me for you to be there…”

Harry sighs heavily. Louis’s looking at him, waiting calmly for him to collect his thoughts.  
“The fact is… Mrs Bunetta wants me to perform at her party as the principal act and apparently she invited some producers and she thinks they might want to actually produce my music, and I’ve tried to talk to you about this all week long, but you were always too busy or too distracted or too excited for something else and I’m so scared Lou, I’m so so scared I’m going to blow it all…”  
At this point Harry is properly ranting, but he can’t really help it. He kept all of this to himself for so long and now he feels like he can’t stop the words from coming out of his mouth.  
He looks at Louis and his heart skips a beat when the other boy reaches for his hands, starting to draw invisible circles on his skin.

“I’ll go with you,” he whispers, so quietly Harry’s not sure he got it right.  
“Are you saying… really? Are you going to be my date?”  
Louis smiles at him.  
“Of course I am, you silly man. I had a meeting with Alex just before the show started and I told her she could really put her rules where the sun don’t shine and that if you wanted me at the party I would have attended at the fucking party.”  
Louis’ pouting and he’s so adorable Harry can’t help but lean on him and peck his lips a couple of time, before muttering a thank you against his hair.  
Louis climbs onto his lap, snuggling into him like a baby koala on its mother’s belly, and Harry hugs him tight, gently rubbing his back.  
“So.” Harry says “just to be clear… you’re coming to the party with me, right?”  
“Yes, Harry, Yes. I’m here for you as much as you’re there for me, we’re in this together, okay? If you’ll ever feel like you’re all alone again, just tell me, please.”  
“I will… It’s just that… I’m scared to lose you, you know? Everything in your world now is brighter and happier and funnier than it’s ever been with me and I don’t want to become a burden…”  
Louis cups his face and kisses him fiercely.  
“That’s impossible Harry. I could never live without you, never,” he states.  
“So you won’t run from me?”  
Louis rolls his eyes and takes Harry’s hand, pointing at their matching tattoo on their opposite wrists.  
“The anchor and the rope, remember?” Louis says and, with a smile, he starts to sing.

 _“My hands, Your hands_  
_Tied up like two ships._  
_Drifting, Weightless._  
_Waves try to break it.”_  
Harry smiles at him because that’s exactly how he’s feeling right now, at mercy of the sea, scared to sink very soon.

 _“I'd do anything to save it._  
_Why is it so hard to say it?”_  
“I don’t know, sometimes words just don’t want to come out,”

 _“My heart, your heart_  
_Sit tight like book ends._  
_Pages, between us_  
_Written with no end_  
_So many words we're not saying,”_  
“Too many, Lou, too much to hide, too many secrets.”

 _“Don't wanna wait 'til it's gone._  
_You make me strong.”_  
“I do?”

 _“I'm sorry if I say, ‘I need you.’”_  
“No, please, don’t be.”

 _“But I don't care,_  
_I'm not scared of love.”_  
“Neither am I.”

 _“'Cause when I'm not with you I'm weaker._  
_Is that so wrong?_  
_Is it so wrong_  
_That you make me strong?”_  
“No, it’s not, because you make me strong too.”

 _“Think of how much_  
_Love that's been wasted._  
_People always trying to escape it._  
_Move on to stop their heart breaking._  
_But there's nothing I'm running from._  
_You make me strong.”_  
Louis kisses him, deeply and fiercly, before getting up, taking Harry with him, dancing slowly, holding him tight.

 _“I'm sorry if I say, 'I need you.'_  
_But I don't care,_  
_I'm not scared of love._  
_'Cause when I'm not with you I'm weaker._  
_Is that so wrong?_  
_Is it so wrong?”_  
“No Louis, I get it now, it’s us, just us, against the world.” Harry adds, and he feels inside it’s his turn to say something, to sing Louis how much he needs him by his side

 _“So, baby, hold on to my heart, oh, oh.”_  
Louis puts a hand on Harry’s heart, smiling softly

 _“Need you to keep me from falling apart.”_  
“I’m here babe,” Louis whispers.

 _“I'll always hold on._  
_'Cause you make me strong.”_  
“And that’s make two of us, cheers,” Louis laughs and Harry knows everything’s okay now.

They start the last chorus together, Melting their voices into one, like only they can do.

 _“I'm sorry if I say, "I need you."_  
_But I don't care,_  
_I'm not scared of love._  
_'Cause when I'm not with you I'm weaker._  
_Is that so wrong?_  
_Is it so wrong_  
_That you make me strong?”_

“I love you so fucking much,” Harry says, and their kiss fills their heart again, their souls melted in one, happy and strong just because they’re together.

***

“Hello?”  
“Ehi Lou it’s, uhm, I’m Louis Tomlison, do you remember me?”  
Louis curses at himself because what a lame question, they’ve met two days before, of course she remembers him. His brain, though, is entirely focused on maintaing his balance at the moment since he’s walking down the stairs, holding his phone between his ear and his shoulder and carrying two bags, a backpack and Harry’s pink suitcase  
“Hi Louis!! How are you?” she chimes and Louis smiles because she always sounds so happy, it’s a joy talk to her.  
“I’m good thank you!! You okay?” he replies, putting all the things he was carrying on the table, before crashing on the nearest armchair.  
“I’m amazing as always!! To what do I owe the honor of the one and only Louis Tomlinson calling me?” she asks and Louis giggles a bit.  
“I need a big favour and you’re the only one who can help me.”

As soon as the stylist agrees to his plan, Louis starts to prepare his and Harry’s stuff, while his boyfriend is still in the bathroom, probably going through his set list for the party and panicking a little.  
Louis knows Harry’s going to be amazing on stage, but his boyfriend is not that confident and that’s why he’s taking care of everything, leaving him the time to freak out privately.

His phone rings, the Game Of Thrones opening echoing through the living room and, since that’s Alex’s ringtone, Louis doesn’t even bother to answer the call.  
Alex has been annoying as fuck since she gave him permission to attend to the party the other day. Louis knows she’s acting like that because The Sun published an article about the Young Duchess (noone knows why they call her that, not even mrs Bunetta herself) turning 40 and throwing a big party with a very private guest list (but rumours have it filled with names people usually see on gossip magazines).  
The problem is that Louis has signed a binding contract about his public persona appearances, and Alex gave him permission because she didn’t know who Mrs Bunetta was, at least not until The Sun was out with her face in the front page.  
The article made Mrs Bunetta’s party a public event, and Louis’ presence has been allowed just because Niall found a loophole in the contract.  
His settlement says that Louis is not allowed to attend “public and mediatic events” unless they’re planned in advance by his management. This party, though, is public but not mediatic, so technically Louis’ restrictions are not applied to this kind of event.  
He had kissed Niall’s head for a good five minutes when he came up with the idea of the loophole, and Louis’ sure he’s gonna be a great lawyer, maybe even greater than his future father in law.  
Still, Alex is calling and texting him every other second and he really can’t talk about her bosses absurd requests again. He really can’t.  
He’s planning to change management as soon as he can and he’s considering hiring Alex as his Personal Assistant, so he won’t lose her and she can finally change her actual job, since she hates it very much.  
He opens the backpack and starts to go through his clothes, to be sure he has everything he needs for the next two days. When he told Harry they had to arrive earlier and leave later, his boyfriend called mr. Bunetta and the professor was more than happy to let them crush in one of his guest’s rooms both the nights before and after his wife’s party.  
Harry, though, has packed half of his wardrobe in his suitcase, mostly because he doesn’t know in which mood he is going to be before his performance and he absolutely needs all the options at hand.

“Lou!”   
Harry’s voice startles him, making him drop the two bags from the table, spreading the content all around the floor.  
“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Louis curses, as he bends down to collect the nearest stuff sighing heavily and glaring back at his boyfriend.  
“I’m so sorry,” Harry apologies.  
Louis looks at him and his face isn’t showing sorrow at all. His eyes are shining and he’s biting at his bottom lip, while smirking in a way Louis knows very well.  
“Take your eyes off my bum Styles, we’re already late.”  
Harry giggles and grabs Louis’ cheeks, squeezing gently.  
The shorter boy rolls his eyes and stands up, letting Harry’s arms curl around him from behind, his boyfriend’s breath tickling his skin.  
“You nervous? Louis asks, tilting his head to give Harry better access to his neck.  
“A bit,” he replies, peppering butterfly kisses all over his neck, shoulder and exposed collarbone, making him shiver from head to toe.  
“This is very relaxing though,” the younger boy adds, biting Louis’ earlobe, making him shiver again.  
Louis’ almost tempted to let it go and let Harry fuck him against the counter, but they have to be at Julian’s in less than an hour so they really don’t have time now.  
“As much as I wish we could do this for the rest of our life, we have someone waiting for us and we’re very late. We can pick up from where we left once we’re all alone later.”  
Harry pouts, and glances at Louis, eyes wide, looking like a toddler whose favourite toy has been thrown away by the evil stepmother.  
“C’mon babe, we’ll have plenty of time tonight!!”  
“I don’t want to have sex in my professor’s house, it’s weird.”

Harry’s pout is reaching unseen levels of cuteness and Louis knows he can’t resist him for long, so he drops on his knees, unbuckling Harry’s belt and mouthing at his clothed cock, before freeing it from its pure cotton prison.  
“You’re so hard already,” he whispers, blowing gently on Harry’s head, before sticking his tongue out to lick away the precome, making Harry moan loudly.  
“Fuck Louis” Harry screams, because Louis is sucking at him like his life depends on it, using his tiny hands to stroke his shaft and play with his balls.  
Harry’s back is pressed against the table, and it would have hurt more if all his senses weren’t overwhelmed by the great work Louis was doing on him.  
Harry howls when Louis grabs his hips, so hard he’s probably going to leave bruises, and starts to move Harry in earnest, pressing him to fuck his mouth.  
Louis opens it as wide as he can and Harry knows he’s not going to last very much longer.  
He starts to fuck Louis’ mouth without giving a second thought, gagging him, feeling the pleasure of his throat clenching around his length, enjoying every choke, every tear, every single noise coming from the amazing boy on his knees in front of him.  
He keeps thrusting, over and over, until, with a flip of his tongue, Louis sends him over the edge, and in no time Harry’s coming down Louis’ sore throat, his orgasm hitting him so hard he goes blind for a sec.  
“Fucking hell,” he curses, helping Louis to go back on his two feet.  
“You okay?” he asks and Louis nods. He won’t be able to talk very well for a few minutes, but it was more than worth it.  
“Do you want me to…?” Harry inquires, pointing at his boyfriend’s crotch, but Louis shakes his head, miming “later” with his pointing finger.  
“I told you I don’t want to have sex at Julian’s,” he repeats, but Louis laughs at him, patting his hand on Harry’s back.  
“I don’t believe you Styles,” he cackles, voice still unsure. He smiles at his boyfriend and Harry tries to stay serious without smiling back at him, but the corners of his mouth start to lift up and, when he leans into Louis to kiss him, his dimples are full on display.  
“I love you a fucking lot you know that, right?” Harry declares, emphasising each word with a peck on Louis’ lips.  
“I know,” he replies, kissing him again, just because he can.

***  
Julian’s house is fucking huge and Louis has already got lost three times, since they arrived an hour before. The professor had showed them around the house, from the big hall at the entrance to the massive indoor swimming pool in the basement. Harry was all cool and happy, making bad puns and laughing out loud with Julian and Louis, while they were waiting for Lady Bunetta to join them.  
As soon as they walked into the garden, though, Louis physically saw Harry freeze on the spot, while looking at the big stage the workmen were setting for the party.  
There were not less than thirty round white tables all over the garden, surrounded by 8 chairs each, which means that there were going to be at least 240 guests, plus the help and the bartenders, which means, well, a lot of people.  
Louis was pretty sure Harry was going to freak out again, so he took his hand and told Julian they were going to freshen up before dinner.

And here they are, in what Julian called “dependence” with a weird French accent and that is an actual two bedroom apartment with a kitchenette and a very large en-suite.  
Harry’s been pacing the floor for the last half of an hour and Louis’ going to freak out himself if he doesn’t stop.  
“Babe,” he calls, but Harry doesn’t look at him and he keeps go back and forth the living room.  
“Oh for God’s sake Harry, look at me,” he shouts, blocking his boyfriend’s path, grabbing his shoulders and scrolling past them.  
Harry looks at him with glossy eyes, his plump lips pinched in a thin line, cheeks slightly red and the most scared expression Louis’ ever seen on his face.  
“C’mon love.” he smiles at him “Why don’t you tell me your set-list again?”  
Harry exhales heavily, like all his strength is leaving him through his breath.  
“Okay.” he nods, sitting on the sofa, Louis right beside him.  
“I have to perform for 45 minutes so I chose 5 of my original songs and 4 covers of other artists and an Encore with another one of my songs”  
“Do you want to tell me which songs you chose, love?” Louis asks. He knows the set list by heart, of course, but he also knows how much Harry needs to feel in control, and repeating the titles is going to help him in the fastest way.  
Harry nods and sighs.  
“I’m going to open with a cover, _“I will survive”_ by Gloria Gaynor, everyone knows and loves this song, so I thought it could warm the audience up.”  
“That’s a very good idea, babe,” Louis smiles and, when Harry smiles back at him, Louis knows he’s on the right path.  
“After that I’m going to sing _‘Night Changes’_ and then ' _Rock Me'."_  
“Oh I love those two, Night changes is one of my favourite.”  
“I know, that’s why it’s the first I’m going to sing.”  
Louis blushes and thinks it’s amazing how Harry is still able to give him butterflies after all of those years together.  
Harry cups Louis’ face and presses their lips together in a slow lovely kiss, full of good feelings.  
The kiss lasts less than a second, though, because Harry’s phone rings and, since it’s Julian’s ringtone, dinner must be ready.  
“We should go,” Harry says.  
“Just tell me which song you chose for the Encore.”  
“I chose _Happily,_ ” he replies, and Louis smiles wide, because that’s the very first song Harry wrote entirely for him, in those three stupid days after the Nadine incident, when Harry thought Louis was dating Nick and Louis was being the biggest idiot in the universe.  
“I can’t wait to listen to it then,” he breathes on his boyfriend’s lips, before taking his hand and letting him lead them to the dining room, mostly because Louis has really no idea where it actually is.

***

The party is overcrowded and Louis has been struggling all night long, trying to avoid the other celebrities Mrs. Bunetta had invited and that are now lovingly chatting around the garden.  
He’s wearing black skinny jeans, a short sleeved purple button down and his favourite Adidas shoes.  
Beside him there’s Lou, in a beautiful white long dress, smiling like she’s in heaven.

She came to the Bunettas’ house two hours earlier, carrying a big duffel bag full of make-up and hair products and some other stuff Louis is very familiar with since he started to work on TV.  
When Louis called her the day before, she agreed instantly to help Harry for his big night. She might have known Louis for less than a week but she’s already very fond of him and, the moment she met Harry, she knew she was already gone for the both of them.  
She styled Harry’s long locks and made his skin glow in a way that drove Louis crazy to the point that he had to leave the room for a while, making her laugh so hard she had to stop working for a moment.  
Once she had finished with Harry, she changed into her evening dress and joined Louis at the party, leaving Harry by himself per his request.  
“Is he ready?” Louis asks and she nods, smiling wide.  
“Yes he is, stop worrying.”  
“Is he freaking out again?” he inquires, already knowing the answer.  
“A bit, yeah,” Lou confirms “But he told me it was okay if I came here with you.”  
“He needs to freak out alone, usually,” Louis explains her “He’s one of those people who need to focus on the matter when nervous. On the contrary, I need to be very distracted so, let’s talk about your belly and how much it shows with this dress.”  
Lou giggles, because Louis hadn’t noticed she was pregnant when they met, and when she showed up earlier wearing a maternity jumpsuit, Harry and him started bickering about it two seconds after meeting her.  
“How did you very dare not tell me she’s going to have a baby!!” Harry shouted, opening his arms in exasperation.  
“I don’t know, I haven’t noticed the other day,” Louis replied and Harry looked up to the ceiling rolling his eyes and fuming a lot.  
“How in hell is that possible?” he retorted, pointing at Lou’s 6 months belly, but Louis’ face was so full of sorrow that Harry had to kiss him right away.  
“You two are so cute,” she said and they both laughed at that, telling her their friend Niall used to think so as well until they started to live together and he got sick of seeing them make out all the time.

And here they are, waiting for the big pop star to make his entrance.  
“He’s up in a few minutes,” Louis says, as the DJ stops the music and takes the mic.

“Hello beautiful people!!” the man shouts, greeting the crowd, who shouts back at him.  
He talks about the party and how the guests can make donations to the charity Lady Bunetta has been supporting for years, to help very sick children and teenagers.  
“That’s a beautiful cause,” Lou says and Louis nods, too nervous to speak out loud.

“I’ve been asked by our lovely host to introduce you to one of her and her husband’s closest friend. He’s a great singer and he’s going to entertain you for the next hour. Please, put your hands together for mr Harry Styles.”  
Harry comes out from the side of the stage, all goofy and shy, his guitar in hand, and Louis is so so in love with him he can barely breathe.  
He takes the mic from the DJ and smiles at the silent crowd.  
“Hello,” he says, in his raspy deep voice “I’m Harry Styles, I’m 21, this is my first time on a stage so, please be kind to me.”  
The crowd cheers and Harry starts to strum his guitar, Louis eyes widen because that’s not I will survive.

 _“Isn't she lovely_  
_Isn't she wonderful_  
_Isn't she precious_  
_Less than one minute old_  
_I never thought through love we'd be_  
_Making one as lovely as she_  
_But isn't she lovely made from love.”_

Harry smiles big and put his guitar down, taking the mic to talk again.  
“These words are meant for someone who’s very important to me and I wouldn’t be here without them, so this is for you, my love. Next song is “I will survive” please sing along, I know you can.”

Louis is positively crying, face buried in Lou’s neck and how Harry very dared to do this to him, he’s going to cry for the rest of the night, he’s pretty sure about that.  
That song is very special to Harry and him because his boyfriend sings it to him whenever Louis feels scared about the future. He usually starts talking about their wedding day, creating a different scenario everytime, and then he describes their life together and his tale usually ends with them taking their first daughter home. And then he sings the song for their imaginary child, making Louis cry in happiness everytime. Watching him singing “Isn’t she lovely” on stage, in front of so many people, makes Louis definitely sure Harry’s going to be a great star, the biggest star in the sky, and he’s going to be there for him until the end of time.

***

Harry’s been amazing. He sang his song involving the audience, making them sing along all the time, learning his songs faster than Louis has ever thought it would be possible.  
Harry danced (or at least he tried) and jumped around a lot, he made funny faces and played with his hair, shouting random sentences in the mic, making people laugh.  
Louis’ so proud of him he can barely contain himself, but he’s doing his best to maintain a low profile… he can’t start to jump around and dance with Simon Cowell and Katy Perry just because he’s excited by his boyfriend’s performance. So he stayed in the very back of the garden, near the house, hoping no one will notice him.  
He leans against the wall, watching Lou dance under the stage as the last notes of Midnight Memories fade away.

“This is my last song,” Harry says in the mic and, a chorus of “nooooo” comes from the disappointed crowd.  
“I’m sorry people,” he apologizes “But it’s not just the last song, it’s also my favourite. This is Happily, I hope you'll like it as much as I do.”

 _“You don't understand, you don't understand_  
_What you do to me when you hold his hand_  
_We were meant to be but a twist of fate_  
_Made it so we had to walk away.”_  
Louis watches Harry and he’s so happy they worked things out, because meant to be is what he’s always felt about Harry, and he’s not going to change his mind very soon.

 _“Cause we're on fire, we are on fire_  
_We're on fire now_  
_Yeah we're on fire, we are on fire_  
_We're on fire now.”_  
“We can burn the world to ashes, love,” he murmurs, smiling at himself, eyes shining under the summer stars.

 _“I don't care what people say when we're together_  
_You know I want to be the one who holds you when you sleep_  
_I just want it to be you and I forever_  
_I know you wanna leave_  
_So come on baby be with me so happily."_  
Louis smiles, shaking his head, because he's always the one doing the holding, not Harry. Harry is his cute curly little spoon, after all.

 _“It's 4am and I know that you're with him_  
_I wonder if he knows that I've touched your skin.”_  
Louis feels someone leaning against the wall beside him, but he can’t take his eyes off Harry, this is his favourite line of the whole songs.

 _“And if he feels my traces in your hair_  
_I'm sorry lord but I don't really care.”_  
Louis sings along and a warm laugh comes from the person beside him.

 _“Cause we're on fire, we're all on fire_  
_We're on fire now.”_  
“Are you a fan?” a male and oddly familiar voice asks him, but all he can do is nod fervently, keeping his eyes on his boyfriend.  
  
_“Yeah we're on fire, we are on fire_  
_We're on fire now._ ”  
“And how did Louis Tomlinson become a fan of an anonymous music student??” the voice asks again. Louis turns around to look at him and his jaw drops a few inches as he spots gorgeous red hair, a soft smile, and an amazing pair of shining blue eyes.  
“Bloody hell you’re Ed Sheeran,” Louis shouts and Ed's laugh is so loud, the nearest people turn to look at him.

 _“I don't care what people say when we're together_  
_You know I want to be the one_  
_Who holds you when you sleep_  
_I just want it to be you and I forever_  
_I know you wanna leave_  
_So come on baby be with me so happily_  
_So happily.”_  
“I am indeed,” Ed says and Louis doesn’t really know what to say, until something clicked in his head.  
“You’re Lady Bunetta’s cousin? The one who, and I quote Julian for this, ‘is in the field’?”  
“Exactly.”  
“So what do you think?” he asks in earnest “ Do you like him?”

 _“1, 2, 3, 4”_  
_“Oh oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh we're on fire now_  
_Oh oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh we're on fire now_  
_Oh oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh we're on fire now”_  
“No, I don’t like him at all,” Ed says and Louis is about to punch him in the face when he adds “I love him. He’s so good, I don’t even know how come he doesn’t already have three or four albums out.”  
Louis visibly relaxes and starts to giggle, more because he’s nervous than anything.

 _“I don't care what people say when we're together_  
_You know I want to be the one_  
_Who holds you when you sleep.”_  
“He’s talking about me, you know?” he reveals in a moment of weakness, because he has to tell someone that this beautiful love song has been written for him and him only.

 _“I just want it to be you and I forever_  
_I know you wanna leave_  
_So come on baby be with me so happily.”_  
“I know,” Ed replies “I came here because Harry kept looking this way at the beginning and at the end of every song, at every joke he made, he always looked this way. I followed his stare and I found you.”

 _“I don't care what people say when we're together_  
_You know I want to be the one_  
_Who holds you when you sleep.”_  
Louis is blushing like mad, so he changes topic quickly, going back to Harry’s music.  
“So you’re going to produce his album?” Louis asks.  
“I think so. The Gingerbread Man Records needs talented young men among its acts, and Harry is really really good, look at how he interacts with the audience, he looks like…”

 _“I just want it to be you and I forever_  
_I know you wanna leave_  
_So come on baby be with me so happily”_  
“He looks like he’s born to be on stage,” Louis ends the sentence for him, while Harry says goodbye to the crowd, shaking hands and taking pictures, like a proper rock star.

Harry joins them after a few minutes, all excited and he barely noticed Ed when he cups Louis’ jaw kissing him like he hadn’t seen him in days.  
“Ehm,” Ed coughs.  
Harry looks at him and his eyes go wide, his mouth open and his cheeks start to redden so much, Louis’ pretty sure he’s going to catch fire from the inside any moment now.  
“H-Hi Ed Sheeran. Oh My God,” Harry blabbers out and Louis starts to rub his back in that soothing way he knows Harry likes very much.  
“Oh, I see you already met.”  
Julian and his wife join them along with Lou and they start to chat about Harry’s performance.  
Louis looks at his boyfriend going completely numb, overwhelmed by too many compliments and the presence of one of his favourite artists on Earth.  
At the “You looked like a young Mick Jagger,” innocently said by a very smiling Lady Bunetta, Louis knows Harry’s going to reach the point of no return very soon. He has to take him away before he faints in front of everyone.  
“Guys, I think Harry and Ed have to talk about something very important,” Louis says “Maybe we should leave them alone.”

Harry squeezes his hand gratefully, Louis is the best boyfriend in the whole world and he’s going to thank him properly once they’re alone in their bedroom.  
He follows Ed in the furthest part of the garden, and the redhead man smiles at him wide.  
“I liked your songs very much,” he states “And I have a proposition for you.”  
Harry smiles back at him, this is huge and he’s nervous as fuck, but he can do this.  
“As you maybe already know, I’m going to start the UK leg of my worldwide tour in two weeks.”  
“Of course I know,” Harry laughs “Louis bought us front row tickets months ago.”  
“Well, I’m very sorry to hear that,” Ed smirks at him and Harry gives him a confused smile.  
“Sorry about what?”  
“I’m sorry your boyfriend spent money on a concert you can’t watch from the audience at all.”  
Harry’s confusion’s growing by the second.  
“Can you explain? I’m confused…” he pleads and Ed smiles again and he’s so cute, Harry’s almost tempted to squeeze his cheeks the way he would do with a toddler, but this is not the moment to do something so stupid.  
Ed stops smiling, his face suddenly very serious.  
“Harry Styles,” he says solemnly “Would you like to be my opening act and come on tour with me?”  
Harry looks at him in disbelief and nods. His whole world is about to change and he’s fucking ready for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special Guest Song: Isn't She Lovely by Steve Wonder


	6. Feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ziall time everyone!!! Also a bit of heartache for Harry and Louis!! Double smut scene, please enjoy this 8k of love!  
> Thanks to my beautiful friend Rani who agreed to help me with this chapter and to my beta Chaima who found the time to check this even though she’s incredibly busy.  
>  _Tweets_ are in Italic,  Texts are Underlined

“Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaabe!”  
Niall’s voice echoes through the open space, resounding in Zayn’s ears, who’s standing just two inches behind him.  
“Ouch!” Zayn complains, rubbing the side of his head.  
Already half laughing, Niall turns on himself to face his boyfriend.  
“Oh, there you are!” he smiles, pecking Zayn’s lips and cheeks.  
“You killed my eardrums, you loud moron,” Zayn glares at him, kissing him a little bit longer.  
“It’s not my fault you move like a fucking ninja,” Niall replies, going back to kissing his boyfriend right away, catching his bottom lip with his teeth, licking at it to deepen the kiss.  
They stay there, snogging against the kitchen counter for a while, hands wandering under each other’s shirts, until Niall picks Zayn up, carrying him to the living room.  
He tumbles down the nearest sofa with a lap full of Zayn, who’s grinding his hips in slow circles, their tongues fighting inside their mouths.

It’s the first time since they moved to London that they can have the house for themselves for more than one day, but with Louis' off filming somewhere in Spain and Harry opening up for Ed Sheeran in Glasgow, they've got the chance to use it at their own will.

The night Ed asked Harry to become his opening act, Harry had called Niall straight away, asking for advice since Niall was already familiar with show business contracts thanks to Louis. He happily agreed to being Harry’s counselor for a while which meant a lot of meetings and boring stuff, but he also got to meet Ed Sheeran and that’d been enough to repay him for all the work he’d done in the past few weeks.  
After the first 10 concerts, though, Harry signed with both Ed’s management and record label. He recorded Happily and Night Changes and released them on an EP that people can buy at Ed Sheeran’s merch stand before the concert. It was the perfect way to preview the debut album (working title: Midnight Memories) Harry planned on recording at the end of the tour, an album that would be available for everyone to download or buy. With his friend in very good hands, Niall went back to his uni classes and his handsome boyfriend.  
Unfortunately, Zayn and him had had no time for a proper date since their anniversary months ago, not even a dinner at home, and Niall’s looking forward to that night, since he planned something great for the both of them.

He decided to skip his afternoon classes without telling Zayn and stay home to set up the most romantic evening ever. His boyfriend has his shift at the hospital for the next 8 hours and microbiology class in the afternoon, so he’s not going to be at home before 5.30 pm. Niall has planned on running a big bubble bath for him in their en-suite, with very relaxing scents, the aroma-therapy stuff Zayn likes so much. After that they’re going to have a great dinner with all of Zayn’s favourite food and then they’ll have the whole apartment to themselves. Niall knows Louis and Harry probably have already christened every available surface around the loft, but Zayn and him hadn’t had enough time alone yet, so they really have to do something to fix that.

“Babe.” Niall murmurs on Zayn’s lips.  
“Yeah?” his boyfriend replies, without leaving his mouth.  
“It’s 7.30.”  
“Fucking hell!”  
Niall laughs quietly while Zayn stands up as fast as he can and starts gathering his stuff, cursing here and there, muttering something about stupidly hot boyfriends and damn early shifts.  
“See you tonight love!” the black haired man says, pecking his lips.  
“You look so hot in your white coat, watch out for the nurses,” Niall shouts at him, and Zayn’s laugh echoes through the elevator shaft, tickling Niall’s eardrums and making him smile.

***  
The bubble bath is set, candles all around the bathtub, the smell of chocolate and cinnamon filling the air upstairs. Niall is about to start cooking dinner when the elevator doors open and a very handsome Zayn comes into the loft, his hair all messed up, his white coat in hand and a tired look on his face.  
“Hey…” he says quietly.  
“Babe?” Niall frowns, walking towards him “what happened?”  
Zayn exhales softly, welcoming his boyfriend in his arms.  
“Mr. Graham died today,” he explains, a very sad tone in his usually happy voice.  
“Oh…” it’s all Niall could say, before tightening his arms around his boyfriend’s waist and letting him bury his nose in his neck.  
Mr. Graham was one of Zayn’s patients, one of his favourite actually. He was an old crinkled West End actor who used to be a great star back in the 60s. Zayn has spent hours with him during his internship shifts, and the old man told him a lot of cute stories about his golden time in theatre, the people he met and the hearts he broke and Zayn had grown very fond of him.

“I’m so sorry love,” Niall comforts him “He’s in a better place now, performing for the angels!!”  
Zayn smiles and kisses his boy, very happy to have him by his side.  
“Do I smell dinner?” he asks, wiping a tear away .  
“Yeah! I was cooking for you!!! And there’s a surprise upstairs too!!”  
“Haha, don’t rhyme please, you sound too much like Louis.”  
“Oh God, maybe I miss him more than I thought.”  
Zayn laughs and goes for another kiss, before heading towards the stairs.  
“If my nose is not fooling me, I suppose I’m going to find a chocolate and cinnamon surprise in our bathroom, am I not?”  
“Of course you are, I’m the most amazing boyfriend ever after all!”  
“Yes you are indeed...”

Zayn enters his room, throwing his stuff on the nearest chair and going straight for the bathroom. The candles scent hits him as he walks inside, a warm mist wrapping him and making him feel more relaxed on the spot.  
He takes off his clothes and enters the delicious hot water, playing a bit with the bubbles around him. The shift at the hospital has left him tired and empty and he really needs to relax before joining Niall downstairs.

When he was just a kid, before meeting Louis, before coming out to himself and to other people, before Niall, before everything, he had a plan. His 8 years old self used to think his life was pretty much already settled. He was about to do tryouts for the football team, and he remembers clearly how his future life was an open book to him.  
He was going to become the star of the team, very popular, a natural born leader whose teammates would have watched in awe and respect. He was going to meet a cute girl around year 10 or 11, possibly a blond very smart girl with stunning blue eyes (he had always had a type apparently), and they were going to graduate together and move to London, Zayn to study law and her to study female stuff (he wasn’t an expert in what a girl can or can’t do, was he?). He remembers telling himself multiple times that his path was perfect like that, that law school and marriage were the life goals he was aiming at.

Zayn laughs, holding his belly, shifting a bit down in the warm water. His life has changed so much, his view of life has changed so much. If back then someone would have told him he was going to become a doctor and a husband, he would have thought they were going nuts.  
And yet here he is, ready to pop the question to his boyfriend as soon as they both graduate, ready to face the perks and the difficulties of being a doctor, ready to face life as fate is going to draw it for him and Niall, because no matter what the future holds for them, they’re in this together and there’s no way he is going to live without him.  
Niall is his better half, his funny impish half. He knows every single part of him, but still he can surprise him here and there, with soft gifts and stolen kisses and maybe they’re not as physical as Louis and Harry are, but they love each other as much as their friends do.

He gets up, reaching for his robe and getting out of the bathtub. It’s time to go back to the wonderful man waiting for him downstairs and fall in love with him a little bit more.

***  
Niall takes the casserole out of the oven, pinching the chicken with a fork, checking if it baked long enough.  
He made parmigiana chicken with a side of a simple salad, dressed in a balsamic vinegar sauce his mom suggested him when he called her that morning for cooking tips, knowing that when Zayn’s that tired, he prefers light food and a lot of cuddles.  
He’s also bought something that morning while groceries shopping, and he hid it under his pillow, secretly hoping for a hot end for their night, but with Mr. Graham’s death, Niall’s not entirely sure Zayn would be up for it. He knows Zayn better than himself, he knows his dreams, his fears, the way he takes his tea, how a hot cup of chocolate can calm him when he’s nervous and how much he loves his mom and his sisters. He knows every inch of his body, every ticklish spot, where to touch him to drive him crazy or to make him melt into his arms.  
This means he knows how heartbroken he is right now and he has no intention of pushing him or making him do anything he’s not in the mood for, so maybe they will cuddle and watch some movie and what he bought can wait until Zayn’s ready.

He feels Zayn’s footsteps on the stairs, but he doesn’t turn around. He likes when his man comes behind him and hugs him and kiss his neck in that way that makes him forget everything. Zayn does that everytime Niall is in a bad mood, when he’s all alone in his bedroom singing the Backstreet Boys or when he’s scared about the outcome of an essay or he’s not sure to be strong enough to face the path his life has taken.  
Sometimes Niall wishes he can do it all over again with Zayn, that he could meet him again, without all the insecurities he had back in high school.  
He turns the oven off, the volume of the iPad on, an upbeat song filling the room, and he starts to move along the music. As predicted, Zayn’s arms come around his waist and when his lips attach to his neck, Niall starts to giggle, a very silly idea popping up in his mind.  
“I’m sorry,” he says turning around to face his boyfriend “Who are you? Why are you touching me like that?”  
”What the hell are you talking about?” Zayn asks, confused by his boyfriend’s words.  
“C’mon babe, go with me on this one,” Niall winks at him and Zayn smiles. If Niall wants to roleplay he’s more than happy to do it.  
“I saw you from upstairs,” he says then, taking a step back “and I thought you were worth a try.”  
“But I have a boyfriend,” Niall says, looking at him through his eyelashes and dancing slowly in front of him.  
“Oh do you now? And tell me… this infamous boyfriend of yours… Does he treat you well?”  
“He is perfect. He cares for me like nobody else does. No one knows me likes he does.”

“ _He knows about you in every way._ ”  
Niall laughs as Zayn starts to sing in front of him

“ _He's memorized every part of your face_  
_Inside and out, baby, head to toe_  
_Yeah, he knows everything there is to know._ ”  
“Oh you can bet he does, he’s the best.”

“ _Your secret tattoo, the way you change moods_  
_The songs that you sing when you're all alone._ ”  
“You’re not supposed to know those things,” Niall says, almost outraged.

“ _Your favorite band, and the way that you dance_  
_But, baby, baby_.”  
“Oh tell me everything.”

“ _Does he know you can move it like that?_  
_Does he know you're out and I want you so bad?_ ”  
Niall takes Zayn’s collar in his hands and pulls him closer.

“ _Tonight you're mine, baby.”_  
He sings on Niall’s mouth, breaths mixing but lips not touching.  
_“Does he know that you'll never go back?_  
_Does he know?_ ”  
Niall laughs again when Zayn takes his hand, dragging him outside the kitchen, towards the stairs, looking at him straight in the eye.

“ _I catch your eye then you turn away._ ”  
Niall turns on himself, still giggling and smiling like this is the funniest thing in the world.

“ _But there's no hiding the smile on your face_  
_Inside and out, baby, head to toe_  
_He's not around, love, you let me know._ ”  
“He’s not here, so what do you want to know?”

“ _Your secret tattoo, the way you change moods_  
_The songs that you sing when you're all alone_  
_He knows how you dance in front of your friends_  
_But, baby, baby._ ”  
“Those are very private things, why should I want to share them with you? ”

“ _Does he know you can move it like that?_  
_Does he know you're out and I want you so bad?_ ”  
“What makes you think you can have me?”

“ _Tonight you're mine, baby._ ”  
“Oooh, am I?”

“ _Does he know that you'll never go back?_  
_Does he know?_ ”  
Niall runs on the stairs and Zayn follows him slowly, steps synched with the slow beat of the song.

“ _He'll never know_  
_The way you lie when you look at me_ ”  
Zayn chases him, climbing faster and, when he’s just one step from Niall he falls on his knees, arms wide open.

“ _So keep trying but you know I see_  
_All the little things that make you who you are_  
_So tell me, love._ ”  
Zayn’s on his lips again and, oh, this is getting hotter by the second.

“ _Does he know you can move it like that?_  
_Does he know that you'll never go back?_ ”  
Niall kisses him, and Zayn pushes him back across their bedroom door.

“ _Does he know you can move it like that?_  
_Does he know you're out and I want you so bad?_  
_Tonight you're mine, baby._  
_Does he know that you'll never go back?_  
_Does he know?_ ”

Zayn pushes Niall on the bed and he’s over him as soon as the song ends, kissing his neck and his lips, demanding more and the Irish lad is more than happy to give him access, opening his mouth and twisting their tongues together, while Zayn’s fast fingers start unbuttoning his shirt.  
Niall grabs the back of his boyfriend’s head, smashing their mouths together once again, before remembering what he bought that morning.  
“Babe,” he pants against Zayn’s jaw “take a look under my pillow.”  
Zayn does as he’s told and as soon as his hand reach under the pillow, his fingers clench around something soft and silky.

“What do we have here?” he smirks, caressing the dark blue silk scarf, letting it barely touch his boyfriend naked skin.  
“It’s a scarf Zayn. There are two more of them under the pillow,” Niall replies, trying to tone the tension down, because, even though they talked about sensory deprivation before, they never actually did it.  
Zayn kisses his mouth and bites his neck, sucking a mark right under his jaw, while finishing to undress him. Niall urges Zayn to take off his clothes too, letting their hard cocks finally rub against each other in slow figure eight motions.  
“Do you want to use it?” Zayn asks, while lapping at his right nipple, clamping it with his teeth and sucking it into his mouth.  
“I-“ Niall groans, his cock already leaking from the tip “Yes. Yes please,” he finally manages to say, gaining a harsher bite from Zayn.  
“Okay,” his boyfriend says and it really is. They talked about it several times, and they have a safe word ready if they need it.

Niall puts his arms over his head, wrists one over the other and Zayn starts to bond them together, not too tight, but enough to make Niall’s arousal grow by the second.  
He can move and even free himself if he wants, but that’s not the point of what they’re doing.  
Zayn kisses him again and then he folds the second scarf on his eyes, taking his sight away.  
“I’m going to knot it behind your head now,” he explains, while working his fingers fast on the silky cloth.  
Niall nods and stays still until his boyfriend resumes their kissing, tangling their tongues together and Niall feels like he’s about to explode because this kiss is different, deeper and more intense than any other they shared before. It’s a kiss that leads to naughty thoughts and filthy actions, perfect overture for all the dirty things they’re about to do.  
“You’re so hot like that,” Zayn whispers in his ears, licking along his jaw and neck, stopping just to play with his nipples again, before tracing a line of hot saliva along his belly, until he has his nose buried deep in his crotch.

“You smell so good,” he murmurs against the soft skin of Niall’s inner thigh. He sucks a mark right there, Niall’s back arching, his moans reverberating around the room.  
Niall screams as soon as Zayn’s mouth closes around his cock. He feels some noises coming from his boyfriend, noises he knows, but he can’t figure them out and it’s so weird and so overwhelming at the same time, knowing and not knowing, just let his body feel, without any worries.  
Zayn’s hand is wet with lube while he jerks him off, his tongue working fast on the swollen tip of his cock and Niall can just imagine what a sight he might be. Then that noise comes again to tickle his ears and reality abruptly hits him because, fucking hell, Zayn’s fingering himself open, while giving him one of the best blowjobs of his life and that’s too good to be true.

“Babe…” he manages to breathe and he actually feels Zayn smile around his shaft.  
“Hold on for a bit,” his boyfriends whispers, while sucking him harsher, squeezing the base of his cock to keep him from coming.  
Niall starts to beg for Zayn to stop or to make him come, whatever he wants, because this is too much, too overwhelming, too hot and he’s not sure he can last much longer.  
Zayn blows on his cock and then he coats it in lube, with a couple of strong strokes who makes him buck his hips up, wanting more and less at the same time.  
“Zayn, please,” he begs and he finally feels Zayn moving over him, a thigh on each side of his pelvis.  
Zayn’s hand grabs his cock again and Niall can picture him lifting his hips up, placing the tip of his cock against his entrance.  
“Are you ready love?” Zayn asks and Niall’s not sure of how this is going to feel like, having his hot man riding him like that, without being able to touch him, guide him or embrace him, so he nods and lets Zayn taking care of him.

Zayn starts to sink inch by inch and Niall feels everything, his tight walls, the heat of his body, the muscles of his thighs twitching, trying to move as slow as he can.  
Niall wants to grab his hips, wants to leave nail marks on his skin and his hands are hitching in need, but he can’t move, he can’t see, he can only feel his boyfriend sinking on him, until he’s sat on his pelvis, his cock buried deep inside of him.  
“Fucking hell,” Zayn curses, before lifting himself up just to sink down again, feeling so full he can barely breathe.  
He puts his hand on the sides of Niall’s head for leverage, and he starts to move faster, trying at first to avoid his own prostate, to give his man more pleasure and to last longer, but a few seconds later his boyfriend moves his hips, like he’s aiming for it, because even bonded and blindfolded, Niall knows Zayn’s body better than anyone.

He starts to thrust inside of him, pleading for a kiss and Zayn gives it to him. He licks his lips, and sucks on his tongue, while fucking himself over and over, feeling his orgasm building up inside him, trying to not touch himself because he really wants to come just from Niall’s cock and nothing else.  
He sinks down again, his knees burning, his arms tired, but he lifts himself up again because he knows Niall too and the way he’s moaning right now means he’s pretty close as well.  
Niall’s hips lift to meet his own and, with a final long moan, he comes inside Zayn’s hole, the hot liquid filling him up, and Zayn can’t contain himself anymore. He reaches for his cock and, a couple of strokes later, he comes over his hand and Niall’s chest, crashing on him, empty and happy like he’s never been.  
They pant onto each other for a minute and then Zayn removes the scarves from Niall’s hands and eyes, kissing him fiercely.

“I have to pull out, love,” Niall says, but Zayn shakes his head, his hole still clenching around Niall’s soft cock.  
“Don’t want you to,” he pouts and Niall laughs.  
“Don’t be a baby now. You’re the daddy here”  
Zayn’s eyes widen and then he starts to laugh against Niall’s chest, his arms tight around his neck.  
“I love you so much,” he says, kissing his Irish love right on the mouth.  
“And I love you back,” Niall replies “We can do this again later if you’re up for it”  
“Of course I am,” Zayn smirks and they go back to kissing each other, like there’s not sweaty and sticky and in need of a shower, but like they have all the time in the world.

***  
Harry’s walking down the halls in the backstage of the Metro Radio Arena in Newcastle, searching for Ed, with the firm intention to strangle him barehanded.  
Since the UK leg started almost two months ago, he and Ed became very good friends and Harry likes the lad very much. Most of the time he’s colorful and funny and cheesy, but some other times, like today, he’s such a pain in the ass. He thinks he’s hilarious (he’s not) and that his pranks are the best around (they’re not) but this time he’s crossed a line.  
“Come out Ed, you can’t avoid me forever,” Harry shouts, entering the changing room and finding it completely empty except for Lou, who’s collecting her stuff in a bag. Harry’s asked her to join him as his personal stylist the night of the party and she agreed on the spot, mostly because her pregnancy and the tour end around the same time and that means she’ll be able to rest as much as she wants right after the baby’s born.  
“Hey let me help you,” he offers, forgetting his revenge against Ed for a second.  
“Thank you” the hair stylist replies, arching her back a bit and rubbing lovingly over her belly.  
“How’s the baby?” Harry asks, massaging her back with his big gentle hands.  
“The baby’s okay. The mum is very tired though. Can’t wait for this pregnancy to end, I feel like I’ve been pregnant for two years, you should call me Mrs. Jumbo.”  
A cackle comes from the wardrobe behind them, reminding Harry why he was there in the first place.  
“I knew a Dumbo reference would have made him laugh,” Lou giggles, while Harry opens the shutter, taking Ed out of the closet.  
“I’m pansexual,” he declares and both Harry and Lou look at him in confusion, until they get the pun.  
“Oh for God’s sake Ed, you’re worse than I’ll ever be,” Harry scolds him, slapping him on his head.  
“That’s for the pun,” he explains, before slapping him a second time.  
“And this is for your stupid tweet!!! Now everybody knows that I’m friends with Louis Tomlinson!”  
“Not exactly everybody…” Ed tries to defend himself.  
“You have 17 million followers Ed. That’s a fucking lot of people.”  
“It was a very innocent tweet,” Ed pouts and Harry exhales, because he knows he can’t stay mad at him for long.

 **Ed Sheeran**  
_@Louis_Tomlinson can’t wait to see you next week at the O2 pal, me and your mate @Harry_Styles are waiting for you_

Lou reads the tweet out loud and yeah, it’s very innocent and Harry knows he’s exaggerating a bit, but he hasn’t seen Louis in two months and he misses him so much that everything about him has become bigger and more painful than it’s ever been.  
Louis has been filming in Spain for a month and, when he came back, Harry and Ed were in Dublin for their concerts. Next week, though, they’re going to be in London at the same time, and Louis has cleared his schedule so he’s completely free for Ed’s concert at the o2 arena, the same concert he’s bought tickets for ages ago and that he’s now going to get to watch from backstage.  
A twitter notification chirps from his phone and Harry knows in his heart that’s Louis reply.

 **Louis Tomlinson**  
_@edsheeran @Harry_Styles already cleaned my schedule for you ages ago , you’re amazing mate . And Ed’s pretty good too haha !_

Harry facepalms himself and shakes his head repeatedly. “He’s such an idiot” he declares, making his friends laugh.  
“You won at life here mate,” Ed tells him, and Lou nods in agreement.  
“I know,” Harry replies and he wishes he could teleport himself to wherever Louis is, because he’s felt so alone since they parted and he really really wants to be with him right now.  
He should tweet him that in a very subtle way… he could send him a simple text, of course, but he’s pretty sure Louis would like this a lot.

 **Harry Styles**  
_@Louis_Tomlinson @edsheeran What's ahead is a different colour .X_

  
“What the fuck did you just tweet, Styles?”  
Harry laughs. He likes to be cryptic and quote very old songs, but Ed should know that one, it wasn’t that difficult.  
“It’s a song, you filthy animal.”  
“Oh! Bloody Hell Harry, stay out of my mentions, I don’t want to watch you two flirting, you’re so cheesy sometimes, it’s almost disgusting.”  
Ed’s and Harry’s phones go off at the same time and Ed sighs while Harry starts to giggle.

 **Louis Tomlinson**  
_@Harry_Styles @edsheeran From dusk till down ! Ha ! (Cryptic enough for you Styles ?)_

“Please, please, in the name of all that is sacred, don’t reply to him,” Ed complains from the sofa.  
“I can’t let him get away with that! I mean, Prince!! How in hell is that cryptic???”  
“DON’T YOU DARE STYLES!!!!” Ed yells, trying to sound threatening and failing on every level.

They’re still bickering when Paul comes in to call them for the sound-check.  
“The VIP tickets are already in,” he informs them and Harry smiles because he likes to have a small audience, even when it’s just sound-check.  
Ed’s fans are cute and funny and very polite and he likes them very much. Since the tour started he has gained fans too, he has around 250k followers on twitter by now and he’s pretty sure he’s going to gain even more now that Louis mentioned him in his tweets.  
Happily and Night Changes have been available on I-tunes for a while and the number of downloads is always growing, most of all because Ed tweets a lot about him and his songs.  
He’s been writing both by himself and with Ed and they’ve completed the track list for his first album and they’re already working on his second one.

Writing with Ed is amazing, even better than it was with Julian. Harry really loves being on tour with him, the crew is fantastic, he gets along with everybody and he’s bonding with Lou and Ed so much, they hang out a lot and Harry’s very proud he gets to call them his friends.  
Harry is very happy. He’s always smiling, feeling great. It’s late at night, when he folds himself in the blankets of the umpteenth hotel room, that he can’t help but feel alone and empty and lost. He misses Louis so much… how is he supposed to build a career knowing that following his dream will keep him away from the love of his life?  
Harry feels split in two… half of him wants to give up everything and go back to Louis, while the other half is yelling that his boyfriend didn’t give up on his career and that he has to hold on as much as Louis did.  
They call each other every day of course, and text a lot and it’s okay, it really is, but it’s not even remotely enough. He wants to see Louis, wants to hold him, kiss him, love him, he wants to bury his nose in his neck and inhale his smell until he’s high on it.  
His phone rings and Harry unlock the screen, smiling at the name flashing on the screen.

 **Peter Capaldi OMG**  
Harry, I’m going to kill Louis very soon, so you might want to call him and say goodbye.

Harry guffaws, while plugging in his guitar and fixing his mic and the earbud, preparing himself for sound-check.  
He waves at the girls in the audience, who wave back at him, giggling and smiling and Harry’s still surprised by the effect he has on complete strangers who have never heard of him before and are there to watch someone else performing.  
He replies to Peter, apologizing for his boyfriend behaviour and promising to bake him his famous peaches pastries in exchange for Louis’ life, and goes back to rehearsal.  
It’s time to get ready for his performance. Ed and him had planned a couple of duets for tonight’s gig, so he’ll get to open but also to  
sing mid concert and he’s a bit nervous.  
Maybe he should call Louis before going on stage, but he knows that calling him will make him sad and that’s not the mood he wants to sing his songs in. He does his work with the sound guy and, once he’s done, he goes back to the changing room with Ed, where Lou can take care of both of them.  
They still have a couple of hours before the concert, so vocal rest is mandatory and they crash on the sofas, smiling at each other.  
Harry’s phone chirps again, and he smiles when he sees it’s Peter once again. He’s sent him a picture of Louis sleeping, his fringe covering his beautiful eyes… he looks so peaceful and cute and Harry’s so happy to see him like this.

 **Peter Capaldi OMG**  
As promised, I took care of him and put him to sleep with that big hoodie of his, which I strongly suspect is yours because it’s four sizes bigger than he needs. I’m going to collect my reward next week, good luck for your concert tonight!

Harry feels nostalgic and a bit lonely and his friends must have noticed because, suddenly, Lou and Ed are all over him, cuddling him and petting his hair, rubbing his back gently. Harry really wants to cry now. He’s happy, really happy, but without Louis, there will always be something missing.

***  
Louis wakes up too early, his head is hurting like hell, his tongue still furred from alcohol and cigarettes.  
Fucking hungover, he feels like shit and he has a whole day of filming ahead and no one to cuddle him to make him feel better.  
He looks at his phone and grins at Harry’s last message. He tried to use emojis but it’s not really his thing. so he mixed a couple of laughing faces with the deaf monkey and Louis’ laughing so hard he’s spilling tears. There are no words to explain how much he loves his man, he really can’t wait to see him perform on the massive stage at the o2.  
They had a little fight the night before, about some stupid topic Louis doesn’t even remember, and it was nothing, really, but he still feels a little off, like he hasn’t done enough to make it up to Harry (He might not remember why they fought, but he’s pretty sure it was his fault).  
His head is killing him though, so he does the first thing that comes to mind to see if Harry’s okay and to embarrass him at the same time, because he’s a little shit after all.

 **Louis Tomlinson**  
_Fucking hungover , I hate it so much ! @Harry_Styles come over and cuddle me please_

He puts the phone near the sink and enters the showers, going under the water, the warm drops running down his back. He sighs heavily, thinking about the past year and how hard it’s been for him and Harry to see each other when Louis was the only one dealing with fame… now that Harry’s gained his well-deserved reputation too, they are both so busy that being in the same place at the same time has become a harder task than what they’d initially thought.  
Nonetheless, their love has grown stronger and Louis feels happy and loved and of course he misses his boyfriend’s arms and smell and mouth (and cock!!!) every day, but he’s sure that their time together will be worth the wait.  
An incoming twitter notification stops his train of thought and he quickly finishes to wash his hair so he can go read the tweet, because he’s sure it’s Harry, he can feel it in his guts.

 **Harry Styles**  
_@Louis_Tomlinson Still in Edinburgh, sorry. See you tomorrow though .XX_

Louis’ eyes widen, because Harry not being cryptic means something’s really off… he was expecting some quote from a very old song, but instead he’s sent a normal reply and that’s weird, what if he’s still mad about their little argument?  
He quickly texts Lou, because if there’s someone who can tell him what’s going on, it’s her.

 **Lou (Not Me) Teasdale**  
I haven’t seen him yet, but I think he slept in Ed’s room, they’ve been writing all night long!! The baby’s okay and so am I, thank you love!

Louis sends a stripe of balloon emojis, two baby emojis and some hearts and then he opens his WhatsApp chat with Ed, asking him about Harry.  
He could have asked Harry himself, of course, but he’s sure that something’s off with his boy. It could easily have been the writing session, because Harry opens his heart and exposes his soul when he writes, so he might be in some mood and Louis doesn’t really want to upset him.

 **Ed Fucking Sheeran**  
He’s in the bathroom right now and yeah, you’re right, we wrote last night and I promised I wouldn’t tell you, but he cried a lot. I think he misses you more than he can admit to himself. On the bright side we wrote a couple of fucking good songs, can’t wait for you to listen to them! See you tomorrow mate XD

Louis sighs heavily because this day’s going to be incredibly hard on him. How is he supposed to be the nerdy and goofy Larken, always smiling, when all he can think about is his boyfriend crying alone in Ed’s bathroom?  
Work is work though, and a knock on his door reminds him that much. He’s been at Peter’s for the last week because his house is nearer to the filming site, and it’s his smiling face that welcomes him as soon as he opens the door.  
“Time to go.”  
He sighs again, grabbing his jacket and following his co-star outside, taking just enough time to text “I love you“ to Harry, adding a stripe of blue and green hearts, hoping they will make Harry feeling loved even just for a moment.

***  
It’s very late when Louis gets back to the loft, tired as fuck because they filmed a fighting scene. Even though his character is not really any good at fighting and even though they were fake kicks and fake punches, he still feels like he’s been hit by a very big truck.  
He also had to go back to Peter’s house to gather his stuff before going back to the loft and spend the night there, waiting for Harry.  
The house is empty, since Zayn has the night shift and Niall’s texted him earlier to say that he was going out with Liam and Nick. He enjoys the silence for a while, before entering his room and keeling over the bed, burying his face in the pillow and groaning loudly in frustration. He’s too fucking tired, but Harry’s supposed to arrive around 2 pm so he can sleep in a bit tomorrow morning and get properly ready for their date too.  
He fishes his phone out of his front pocket, dialling Harry’s number right away.  
“Ehi!”  
God, Louis loves Harry’s voice so much.  
“Ehi love.”  
They stay silent for a couple of seconds, listening to each other breathing like it’s the most beautiful sound in the world.  
“You’re still in Edinburgh?”  
“No, I’m on my way to London, we’re going to travel by night… Ed says hi!!”  
“Hiiii!!”  
Louis is nervous and he doesn’t even know why, maybe it’s the argument, or the fact that in less than 12 hours he’s going to see Harry for the first time in months… he’s at loss of words which… weird… he’s never been speechless his entire life…  
“I talked to Peter a few days ago…” Harry starts and Louis is confused.  
“So?”

“ _So your friends been telling me_  
_You’ve been sleeping with my sweater…_ ”  
“Of course I have,” Louis laughs quietly, blushing a little. This is the first time they sing to each other since Harry left, and it’s cute that they’re doing this on the phone.  
_"And that you can't stop missing me…_ ”  
“I always miss you Harry…” he admits, already feeling the tears pushing at the corners of his eyes.

“ _Bet my friends been telling you_  
_I'm not doing much better,_ ”  
“They had… Ed told me you cried last night… why?”  
“ _Cause I'm missing half of me…_ ”  
“Oh…”

“ _And being here without you_  
_Is like I'm waking up to_  
_Only half a blue sky_  
_Kind of there but not quite_  
_I'm walking round with just one shoe_  
_I'm half a heart without you…_ ”  
“We’re going to be whole again very soon love, just wait a little longer.”

 _“I'm half a man at best_  
_With half an arrow in my chest_  
_I miss everything we do_  
_I'm half a heart without you…”_  
Louis knows that Harry’s hurt and that he feels lonely and overwhelmed and he has to make it up to him, tell him he’s sorry and that he feels incomplete as well, but at first he has to apologize for their fight.

 _“Forget all we said last night_  
_No it doesn't even matter_  
_Cause we both got split in two…”_  
Louis sings from the bottom of his heart, knowing that his words are going to mean a lot to Harry.

 _“If you could spare an hour or so_  
_We'll go for lunch down by the river_  
_We can really talk it through…”_  
“We don’t need that love, it’s okay really,” Harry replies, but it’s not okay, Louis knows his man, he knows how fragile he is sometimes.

 _“And being here without you_  
_Is like I'm waking up to_  
_Only half a blue sky_  
_Kind of there but not quite_  
_I'm walking round with just one shoe_  
_I'm half a heart without you…”_  
Louis feels so alone right now, he needs his boyfriend’s arms around him, he needs to feel his heart and his love and this is so stupid, but he’s feeling like his heart is broken in half.

 _“I'm half a man at best_  
_With half an arrow in my chest_  
_Cause I miss everything we do_  
_I'm half a heart without you…”_  
He knows it’s just a matter of hours, but now he feels on the verge of tears and how did this happen, he was trying to reassure Harry that everything is okay and now he feels torn in two more than he ever did before.

 _“Half a heart without you_  
_I'm half a heart without you…”_  
Harry’s voice echoes through the phone, but Louis can hear it like he’s in the same room with him.

 _“Though I try to get you out of my head_  
_The truth is I got lost without you…”_  
Louis understand the feeling perfectly. He tried countless times to stop thinking about Harry and how much he misses him, but his thoughts keep going back there and it’s so hard to send them away.  
_“And since then I've been waking up to…”_  
They start to sing together, and Louis feels so weird, like Harry’s voice is both in the phone and all around him.

 _“Only half a blue sky_  
_Kind of there but not quite.”_  
A knock on the door startles him.  
_“I'm walking round with just one shoe_  
_I'm half a heart without you.”_  
He opens the door, Harry’s voice echoing through the air and there he is, his phone in hand, still singing, more handsome than he’s ever been.

 _“I'm half a man at best_  
_With half an arrow in my chest_  
_Cause I miss everything we do_  
_I'm half a heart without you.”_  
They hug so tight Louis almost runs out of breath, nose buried in Harry’s neck, whispering the words against his skin, tears flowing free on his cheeks.

 _“Without you_  
_Half a heart without you_  
_Without you_  
_Half a heart without you.”_  
“You’re here.” he breathes.  
“I am,” Harry replies, kissing him fiercely, tongues twisting fast, so hungry, searching for that contact they’ve been seeking for far too long.  
Harry throws him on the bed and in a fraction of a second he’s all over him, his hands busy undressing him. There’s no time for romance, or sweet talk. Not everything revolves around sex, of course, but the only thing Louis can feel now is the urgency to bury himself inside Harry’s heat and stay there for the rest of his life.  
He takes control of the kiss and, with a flip of his hips, he changes their position and takes Harry’s shirt off, looking at him in complete awe.  
“What?” Harry asks, his hips bucking up, searching for some friction.  
“N-nothing,” Louis stutters, caressing Harry’s chest with trembling hands “It’s just… you’re so beautiful, I still can’t believe you’re here.”  
Harry giggles and grabs Louis shoulders, pressing his boy to his chest.  
“I couldn’t wait until tomorrow…”  
They kiss again before parting ways to undress themselves faster, both eager to have their cocks finally rubbing together after all those weeks apart.  
“You taste so good,” Harry hums inside Louis’ mouth and moans aloud when his hand wraps around his hard cock.  
“Fuck I don’t think I can last,” Harry admits “Please, can we postpone the foreplay?”  
Louis laughs and nods, kissing him again, before grabbing the lube from the nightstand.  
He puts it near Harry’s hips and starts mouthing at his inner thighs, sucking his balls, tasting each one of them painfully slowly, before blowing on his tight hole, making him whine.  
He licks a fat stripe from the base of his cock all down to the middle of his cheeks, inserting his dry thumb inside the heated hole, Harry’s walls clenching around him, hips pushing against his hand, asking for more.  
He coats his other fingers in lube, removing his thumb, replacing it with his index and middle fingers, two at once because he knows harry can take them, and he starts moving them right away, scissoring them to stretch him properly.  
He kneels over to kiss Harry, his boyfriend’s tangling a hand in his hair, the other one grabbing his painfully hard cock.  
“No touching babe,” he orders, his voice firm and steady, lowered with arousal, and Harry stills and obeys right away, closing his eyes and wishing to be very good for Louis.  
Louis kisses him again, his mouth, his chin, the column of his throat, his sexy collarbones, his hairless chest. He takes his time to play with his nipples, all four of them, his fingers still moving inside Harry.  
“Louis, please,” Harry begs him, and Louis pushes his fingers against his prostate, a loud moan filling the room.  
“Please, please, please,” he chants, writhing in pleasure under Louis’ touch.  
“Please what?” Louis smirks, rubbing against his prostate once again.  
“Please fuck me,” Harry moans, and Louis thinks he can come on the spot just because of that.  
He removes his fingers, leaving his hole clenching around nothing, and grabs the lube, coating his cock, giving himself a couple of quick strokes.  
“Are you ready love?” he asks softly, kissing Harry’s lips gently.  
“I’ve never been more ready my whole life.”  
Louis smiles, grabbing Harry’s knees, lifting his legs over his shoulders, before lining up with Harry’s hole and entering him slowly, just an inch, giving him the time to adjust to the intrusion.  
“Move Louis, please…” Harry whines, moving his hips against Louis’.  
Louis starts to sink inside of him, inch by inch until he bottoms out, burying himself into Harry’s delicious heat, feeling like his broken self has been destroyed and rebuilt again.  
He thrusts eagerly inside Harry, focused on making him come soon, because he really wants to paint his perky little bum white.  
He adjusts himself quickly, lifting Harry’s legs even more, folding him on himself to get the perfect angle so he can reach his prostate with every thrust. Harry keeps moaning louder and louder, his abs already clenching in expectation. He pushes again, harder and faster, grabbing Harry’s cock and stroking him in synch with his thrusts, one, two, three times, until he feels his hot come covering his hand and Harry’s hole clasping around his still hard cock.  
He pulls out, ready to jerk himself off and come on Harry’s ass and thighs, but Harry does something so unexpected that Louis literally stops breathing.  
The curly boy looks at him, clearly still coming down from his high, eyelids already heavy with the post orgasm drowsiness, and opens his mouth, pointing at it with his finger.  
“I can’t fuck your mouth, love,” Louis reminds him. He’s a singer after all and he has to perform tomorrow, he can’t risk to ruin his voice.  
“Why do you think I came home earlier, love?” he replies and oh, is that a bit of sass in his tone? He taught him so well, Louis’ so proud of him.

He sits on Harry’s stomach, right on the butterfly tattoo and then he lifts himself on his knees, placing the tip of his cock on Harry’s tongue, his plump pink lips wrapping around it and sucking happily, like he’s enjoying a tasty lollipop.  
Louis resumes his thrusting, Harry’s mouth is so good, he feels his orgasm already building inside his belly, powerful and strong and oh God, he missed this so much… After two months with just his hand and skype sex and that stupid pink dildo, Jesus Christ, he can’t hold it back anymore. He starts to pull out, but Harry grabs his ass, pushing him harder inside his throat, making him come straight inside of it, so hard he turns blind for a second.

“Bloody Hell,” he curses, pulling out for real this time, collapsing on top of Harry.  
“I feel so empty,” he laughs, Harry’s arms coming around his shoulders, hugging him tight.  
“You smell so good after sex,” he adds, inhaling Harry’s scent.  
Harry clears his throat a couple of times and when he speaks his voice is so deep Louis feels his spent cock twitching in interest at the mere sound.  
“I missed you so much,” Harry crackles against Louis’ skin.  
“I know,” he replies “You’ve sung me a whole song about it.”  
“I want to stay like this forever,” Harry cackles, hugging him tighter.  
“Yeah, me too,” Louis smiles, reaching for the blankets and covering the both of them.  
“We can shower later,” he explains, kissing his love’s mouth “Now it’s time to sleep.”  
Harry pets his hair, rubbing against his back and Louis feels the happiest he’s ever been in his life because he knows that this is true love, and, as Wayne Dyer said "True love doesn’t mean being inseparable, but being separated and nothing changes."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Harry quoted “High” by Lighthouse Garden whilist Louis quoted “Kiss” by Prince.  
> This Chapter is for the beautiful Christina Grimmie, you’re going to be very missed love, may the Angels love your voice as much as we did. Rest in Peace.


	7. Future

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs for this chapter: I Want To Write You A Song, Right Now.
> 
> And act 2 is finally over... A big thank you to my friends who supported me while I was writing this. Thank you Chaima, Bianka, Mena, Helgarose, Laurie and Rani, love you all a lot.

Harry’s nervous as fuck as he paces the floor in the changing room of the o2 arena, mumbling to himself, trying to calm down.  
“Calm down love,” Louis tells him for the umpteenth time, but he seems deaf to every sound except the stupid voice in his head.  
This is the last concert of the tour, they’re going to perform at the o2 for the third night in a row and something incredible has just happened to him.  
“Bloody fucking hell,” he curses and Louis can’t take this anymore.  
“Harry Edward Tomlinson!” he shouts and Harry freezes.  
“I-“ Harry stutters. He really doesn’t know what to say, the only words that make sense to him right now are “That sounds so good” and “Please call me like that again.”  
“Do I have your attention now?” Louis asks and Harry nods, turning on his feet and sitting next to Louis on the sofa.

“I’m scared Louis…” he admits, snuggling under Louis’ arm.  
“Babe,” Louis starts “You know that this is a fantastic opportunity! Ed wouldn’t have asked you to be his opening act for his American leg if he thought you wouldn’t live up to it!!”  
Harry sighs heavily, because of course he already knows that, thank you very much. The fact is that he wants to go so badly and he can’t tell Louis that the only thing that’s holding him back is that he doesn’t want to be separated from him again and for who knows how many months.  
He can’t hang that over him though, it’s unfair and stupid and, most of all, he doesn’t want him to feel responsible about any of his decisions.  
“I just think everything’s going a bit too fast, you know?” he says instead “The US tour’s going to start in five weeks… I thought I’d had the time to stay in London a bit longer and work on my music by myself for a while before the album release in November…”  
“You have to film the music video for “Happily” too, am I right?”  
“Yeah… Ed told me we can do that while in LA, in a studio where they filmed Indiana Jones and other famous stuff, this is so crazy, I’m…”  
Harry groans, completely at a loss for words, snuggling more under Louis’ arm, his man rubbing gently at his back in that soothing way he knows will calm him very soon.  
“Baby, you don’t have to be scared,” he whispers, kissing Harry’s head “you are an amazing artist and an even more amazing human being. The world is going to love you almost as much as I do!!”  
Harry kisses him deeply, tongues dancing inside their mouths, and Louis feels the butterflies in his stomach flying around in happiness, because that’s what it feels like when the love of your life is kissing you like his life depends on it.  
“Look,” he starts, while an idea pops in his mind “I’ll be done filming in six weeks. We have some promo to do after that, but I think I’ll be able to join you and Ed for a while around the second week of tour?! What do you think?”  
Harry looks at him so in awe that Louis feels like he just won the jackpot.  
“That… that would be so great and, oh my God, it’s going to be amazing!!!”  
They kiss again, grinding onto each other, both half hard already, but then Louis’ hands tickle Harry in the soft spots on his hips and Harry almost chokes on his own laugh.  
“Are you still scared?” Louis asks and Harry shakes his head.  
“I can’t be scared with you by my side,” Harry replies, breathing on Louis’ mouth and Louis’ butterflies start to dance again as he kisses his boyfriends’ sweet lips.  
“It doesn’t matter what’s going to happen,” he states “we’re all in this together!!”  
Harry looks at Louis, his eyes narrowed in a suspicious glare.  
“You’re going to sing the High School Musical song now, aren’t you?”  
“You can bet I am,” Louis laughs and starts to sing, hugging his love like he’s never going to let him go.

***

Harry’s about to leave for LA in 10 days and he’s going a bit crazy preparing himself. He has split his stuff in three piles: the stuff he has to take with him, the stuff he wants to take with him but maybe it’s too much, and the stuff he can safely leave at home.  
The second pile is full of Louis’ things and since Harry can’t take his whole boyfriend with him, he managed to find almost every gift Louis gave him through the last four years and he’s really thinking of taking everything with him, who even cares, he’s not the one who’s going to pay for the extra luggage, since management will take care of everything.  
“Oh my God!!”  
Louis’ voice startles him and he laughs when he sees he’s wearing the pink beanie he won at some charity years ago and that Harry labelled as the ugliest piece of cloth ever created.  
“Hiiii!!” he chimes, hugging his boyfriend very tight “I thought you couldn’t make it today!!”  
Louis is about to explain why he’s home earlier than predicted when Harry’s phone starts to ring, an unknown number flashing on the screen.  
“Who’s that?” Louis asks but Harry is as clueless as he his.  
“I have no idea,” he says, before putting the call on speaker.  
“Hello?”  
“Hey, Hi Harry, it’s Tom!”  
“Oh Hi Tom! What’s up?”  
“I’m at the hospital with Lou…” he explains, voice shaking in anxiety.  
“Is she in labour?” Harry asks.  
“Yes, she…”  
“Give me the bloody phone you moron!” Lou shouts in the background. Tom sighs heavily before handing the phone to his partner.  
“Harry, can you please come over?” she pleads “Me mum and Tom are driving me fucking crazy, I need someone with a functioning brain right now.”  
Louis covers a laugh with his hand and Harry rolls his eyes at him.  
“Where’s Sam?” Harry asks, knowing that Lou wouldn’t have called him before her twin sister.  
“She had stuff to do in Sheffield today… She’s coming over, of course, but, you know, it’s not a short ride.”  
“Okay, I’m here with Louis, we can be there in 30? I guess?”  
Lou thanks him profusely, explaining that Tom has already fainted twice while the doctor was visiting her and that her mom keeps bursting into tears everytime someone calls her Miss Teasdale because how very dared she not being married before having a child.  
“Do you need anything?” Harry asks, collecting his car keys and handing them to Louis.  
“Not at the moment, thank you for your help, Harry.”  
As they enter the elevator, she closes the call, muttering something borderline offensive towards Tom and Louis laughs again, looking at Harry with shining eyes. He kisses him happily, holding him tight for a second.

“Please, promise me that you won’t let me act like an idiot when you’ll be in labour.”  
Harry pushes him away, glaring at him.  
“What? Who says I’ll be the one giving birth?”  
“Because you’re more maternal than me Harry. I’m going to be the cool dad,” Louis smirks, pecking Harry’s lips again.  
“I’m as cool as you are, Louis,” Harry points out “Also between the two of us, you’re the one whose hips look like they’re made for giving birth.”  
“But I don’t want to get pregnant,” Louis complains “My tummy is already big enough as it is right now, I don’t want it to get even bigger, thank you very much.”  
They look at each other for a second and then they burst into laughs, holding onto each other, wiping happy tears from their eyes.  
“I think this is the weirdest conversation we’ve ever had,” Louis smiles, regaining his composure.  
“Uhm, I don’t know… What about that forty minutes discussion about the glittery butt-plug?”  
“Well love, let’s say it’s a tie for now” Louis laughs again, starting the car and heading to the hospital.

***  
“Hello lovely Lux!” Harry says to the tiny human he’s holding in his arms, smiling at her softly.  
“Oh my God Lou, she’s so perfect,” Louis chimes, looking at the baby from over Harry’s shoulder and it’s not hard for him to imagine the two of them being in the same position with their firstborn in a few years.  
Harry hands the baby back to her mom and hugs Louis tight, matching thoughts crossing their minds.  
“Do you want something to drink?” they ask at the same time and Lou laughs quietly, a tired look in her happy eyes.  
“Yes please,” she replies, going back to cuddle her baby, murmuring little nonsenses while petting her tiny hands.  
“We’ll be back soon,” Harry tells her, before taking Louis’ hand and heading them out of the room.

Once they’re out they hold onto each other for a while, Louis sighing heavily against Harry’s chest and Harry kissing his head multiple times.  
He knows Louis has something going on, he’s not okay and he’s holding it back since he showed up home completely unexpected.  
“What’s going on, love?” He whispers in his hair, and Louis sighs again.  
“Can… can we go somewhere more private?” Louis asks and Harry takes him in an empty room nearby, labelled ‘Dr. Erin Lovett, gynaecologist surgeon’, locking the door behind them.  
“What if the doctor comes back?” Louis asks, sitting over the doctor’s desk.  
“Oh, I overheard the nurses saying she’s busy with a complicated surgery, so I think we have time,” Harry replies, fitting himself between his legs, hugging him tight against his chest.  
Louis relaxes against his boyfriend’s body, exhaling heavily, while Harry cuddles him a little bit longer.  
“I received a call this morning,” Louis starts, and Harry tenses against him.  
“Who called you?”  
“Roger Mussenden.”  
“I have no idea who he is…” Harry admits and Louis laughs.  
“He’s the Casting Director of X-men,” Louis explains, enjoying the marvelled expression on the curly man’s face.  
“Oh my God!!!” Harry exclaims, his hands covering his mouth in astonishment “This is so huge love, I’m so happy for you!!!”  
“I’m very happy too!! It’s going to be huge yeah, and in many different ways too…”  
“What do you mean?”  
Louis turns very serious, looking at Harry straight in the eye, smiling softly at him.  
“They want me to play Northstar…”  
Harry holds his breath again. Jean-Paul Beaubier, Northstar, has been the first character to come out as gay in a Marvel Comic.  
“Do you… Are you thinking of coming out, Louis?”  
Harry’s dead serious right now and Louis’ a bit scared. He was the one that forced them back in the closet at the beginning of his career and he doesn’t want to drag Harry into a twist of gossip and rumours, but he can’t let go of a role this big, he simply can’t.  
“If they’re going to ask, I’m not going to deny it,” he admits “My new management has nothing against me coming out… Plus, I'd rather come out this way instead than being papped drunk while dancing in a gay club…”  
Harry laughs softly, hugging him again.  
“Do you want to come out together? I mean, I’m not even remotely as famous as you are and I’m not going to be very soon, but if you want…”  
Louis shakes his head.  
“No babe, no. You’re going to come out at your own terms, there’s no need to rush things for me.”  
Harry kisses him wildly, he’s the most amazing boyfriend a guy can ask for and he can’t believe he got so lucky.  
“Plus we can always flirt on twitter!!!” Louis adds and Harry smiles wide at him.  
“Yes we can. Not too openly maybe, but I’d like that, very much.”  
Harry sits on the doctor’s armchair, dragging Louis in his lap, starting to kiss him again.  
“So, when’s the first meeting with the film production?” Harry asks when they part to breathe.  
“Three weeks from now, in LA,” Louis says “I won’t be able to join you on tour…”  
“We’ll be in the same city though, maybe we can see each other after your meetings and if you’re free at night we can hang out after the concerts, we can manage!!!!”  
Louis smiles again, snuggling more in Harry’s embrace.  
“Let’s make a promise,” the older man whispers against his boyfriend’s chest “Whatever happens, wherever we are, we’ll never go without seeing each other for longer than two weeks. Even if it means flying back and forth from England to US within a day, I don’t care.”  
Harry puts his hand under Louis’ chin, lifting his face up to look into his eyes. He kisses his forehead, and then his nose, and cheeks.  
“I promise,” he breathes on Louis’ mouth and then they’re kissing again, because it’s always a good moment to kiss each other.

“We should bring that water for Lou ,” Harry says and Louis nods, taking the lead towards the door.  
They reach the vending machine where they buy two bottles of water, a diet coke and two bars of kit-kat, just in case Lou needs some sugars.  
They enter the room quietly, noticing right away that both the mom and the baby fell asleep, Lou still holding Lux in her arms in the hospital bed. Harry carefully takes the new-born from her mom’s embrace and puts her down in her crib beside the bed, while Louis fixes Lou’s sheets, tucking her in like he did several times with his sisters.

Tom enters the room a second later, a big bag on his shoulder, a tired look on his face.  
“Did you find everything?” Harry whispers, taking the bag from him, while he goes to greet his daughter.  
“Yeah, I did, thank you,” he replies, incapable to take his eyes away from his new-born kid, the biggest of smiles painted on his face.  
“We can leave then,” Harry states, taking Louis’ hand and heading toward the door.  
Tom blocks them on their way, bringing them in a big hug, thanking them profusely for all the help and the support, before letting them go and going back to his kid, taking a hundred pictures and posting them on Instagram right away.

Louis and Harry exit the hospital a few minutes later, the grey sky looking at them from above, clouds heavy with rain.  
They barely make it to their car before it starts raining like hell, so much that Harry doesn’t feel he can drive safely because he really can’t see out of the car windows, not even with the wipers at maximum speed.  
“Let’s go in the back seat,” Louis suggests “I want to cuddle you properly.”  
Harry smiles and they manage to move in the back seat without exiting the car.  
“You’re so goofy I swear,” Louis laughs, looking at Harry moving his 6’2” in the tiny cabin, “Look at me,” he brags “I moved here with no difficulties at all!!”  
“Just because you’re pocket sized, you asshole,” Harry retorts, slapping him slightly on his shoulder.  
“I am not.”  
“Yes you are. Look, you fit perfectly under my arm!!”  
“That’s very true!” Louis smiles and leans in to kiss Harry, before snuggling into his side.  
“I’m going to miss you so much,” he states, intertwining their fingers and kissing his hand right above his cross tattoo. He feel so protected with Harry, so safe, like nothing bad could ever happen to him as long as he has Harry by his side.  
“I’m going to miss you too…” the curly man replies “But we have our two weeks deal so everything’s going to be great!!”  
“Of course it is,” Louis confirms, resting his head on Harry’s shoulder, enjoying the noise of the rain hitting the car roof.  
They stay like that for a while, in a very comfortable silence, just breathing into each other like nothing else matters in the world.  
  
Minutes pass and the rain doesn’t seem to lose intensity, still hiding the world from them and them from the world.  
Louis takes Harry’s hand and starts to play with his fingers, drawing circles around his promise ring.  
“What do you want to do?” he murmurs against Harry’s palm, kissing it softly.

 _“I wanna write you a song_  
_One as beautiful as you are sweet.”_  
Louis smiles and close his eyes, letting Harry’s voice sooth him, like the sweetest lullaby.  
_“With just a hint of pain_  
_For the feeling that I get when you are gone_  
_I wanna write you a song.”_  
“Just a hint though, because we’re going to be very very happy.”

 _“I wanna lend you my coat.”_  
“Which one?”  
_“One that's as soft as your cheek.”_  
“I would really like that…”  
_“So when the world is cold_  
_You will have a hiding place you can go_  
_I wanna lend you my coat.”_  
“You’re my hiding place, you make my world warmer every single day,” Louis says, before adding his own words to Harry’s song.

 _“Ooh, everything I need I get from you_  
_Ooh, givin' back is all I wanna do.”_  
Harry leans in to kiss him, before rolling up his sleeve, pointing at his ship tattoo.

 _“I wanna build you a boat.”_  
“Oh, what kind of boat?”  
_“One as strong as you are free_  
_So any time you think that your heart is gonna sink_  
_You know it won't_  
_I wanna build you a boat.”_  
“I can totally fly it, I have a compass after all,” he states, starting to sing his own verse once again.

 _“Ooh, everything I need I get from you_  
_Ooh, givin' back is all I wanna do”_  
Harry smiles, before mirroring his words in another verse.

 _“Ooh, everything I need I get from you_  
_Ooh, givin' back is all I wanna do.”_  
Louis kisses him once again, while Harry starts to sing the last verse.

 _“I wanna write you a song_  
_One to make your heart remember me.”_  
“I could never forget about you”  
_“So any time I'm gone_  
_You can listen to my voice and sing along.”_  
They close the song together, eyes closed and voices melting into one.  
_“I wanna write you a song_  
_I wanna write you a song.”_

They both sigh heavily, holding onto each other a little longer until Harry kisses Louis one last time and regains his position in the driver seat, starting the car.  
“We should go back to Manchester, shouldn’t we?” Louis says and Harry nods in agreement, while exiting the parking lot, finally taking them back home.

***  
“Moooooooooooooooooom!!!” Louis shouts from the garden, where he’s playing with his sisters and Harry, his eyes now glued to his phone, looking at his mentions with wide eyes.  
“Yes, darling?” Johanna replies from the porch, where she’s sipping her tea with Anne, talking about their sons’ imminent departure.  
“Any chance you tweeted a very ugly and blurry picture of me and Harry playing with the girls?”  
Johanna clears her throat a couple of times, clearly playing dumb, and Louis glares at her, narrowing his eyes.  
“For God’s sake mum,” Louis complains.  
“We already have tons of people talking about our, and I quote our fans, mysterious secret relationship,” he adds, mimicking quotes marks with his fingers “We don’t need you to confirm it on twitter, c’mon!!”  
Johanna laughs. If there’s something secret and exotic and mysterious sure as hell it’s not Harry and Louis’ relationship.  
“Oh, shush, you’re basically married Louis, sooner or later people will see that. It’s not that big of a secret, you know!!”

Louis sighs heavily, muting his phone and going back to play dodgeball in the backyard, where two overexcited twins are destroying a very goofy and cute Harry Styles, whose smile is so big Louis feels his heart ache at the sight.  
He’s going to miss that smile so much. He’s going to miss his smell and his curls and his soothing voice. He can make a one mile long list with the things he’s going to miss about Harry.  
People on twitter started shipping them after they began to interact a lot on there, sending each other cute messages and pictures and Louis tweeted something incredibly stupid about being slowly seduced by Harry’s curls, driving their bunch of shippers almost crazy at the idea.  
“Babe,” Harry calls for him, driving his attention away from his thoughts “is everything okay?”  
He hugs him, sighing heavily against his chest, humming in response.  
“What’s wrong?”  
“You didn’t look at your phone, did you?” Louis asks and Harry shakes his head, searching for his phone in his pockets, but he might have left it inside because it’s not in his trousers.  
Louis shows Harry his mentions and Harry smiles because #LarryIsReal is trending in the UK, his and Louis’ fans quoting theirs and Johanna’s tweets multiple times, everyone with their own theories. Someone even found out those old videos they filmed back in high school and everyone is now talking about it.  
“It’s a good thing, love,” Harry whispers in Louis’ hair “They’re telling the truth after all.”  
“Some people call them crazy and delusional though…”  
“As you sang once, _there will always be the kind that criticize_ ,” Harry says and Louis smiles, the memory of their last night in Manchester many years ago hitting him all of a sudden.  
“ _But I know, yes I know we’ll be alright_ ,” Louis singsongs and it would be a good moment for a kiss if their mothers weren’t three metres away, phones in hand, ready to shot.  
“Mum, c’mon, please!!” Harry complains, and Anne pouts, putting her phone on the table in front of her.  
“That’s unfair, you know?” she says, a very sad look in her eyes “You’re going overseas for God knows how long with your friends and you’re leaving us behind, alone and miserable!!”  
Louis snickers and Harry rolls his eyes.  
“Don’t be overdramatic now,” he pleads “It’s not like we’re going away forever! And it’s work, not some wild coast to coast trip!!!”  
Anne pouts even more and Johanna hugs her tight, rubbing her back gently, in the same way Louis is used to do with Harry.  
“It looks like it takes a Tomlinson to calm down a Styles,” Louis laughs and Harry shows him his tongue, kissing his nose right after.  
The oven rings inside the house and Johanna calls everyone in for lunch.

This is their last day in Manchester. Tomorrow they’re both going back to London just to part ways again. Harry’s going to LA for Ed’s tour and Louis has his meetings with the network and his management. He has signed for two whole seasons, so he’s going to be very busy with the new X-men movie and the next Doctor Who’s episodes and the promo for both of them.  
But today they’re going to be just Harry and Louis, like they are still in high school, with nothing better to do than hanging out with their friends, drinking lousy cocktails and smoking a discreet amount of pot.  
Their friends managed to come back too so, in a few hours, they’re going at Niall’s for a regular Horan pool party, and have a lot of fun before going back to reality and their careers.  
Now it’s time for lunch with their families, though.  
Louis is very happy his mum and Anne became so close. Johanna needs help with the kids and Anne is always up for it. Plus he likes Harry’s stepdad a lot too. Robin is a very nice man, always up for fun.

“I might have met someone,” Johanna drops while serving them the stew.  
“You what?” Louis asks, dropping his fork.  
Harry puts his hand on Louis’ knee under the table, comforting him.  
“Yeah, he’s a guy from Robin’s office. His name’s Daniel, he’s really nice…” she explains, not daring to look directly at her son.  
“Have you… I mean…”Louis stutters, not sure about how asking his mother if she’s dating a new man.  
“He took her to that new restaurant near your old school,” Anne intervenes “We had a double date!!”  
Louis exhales, feeling a little more comfortable, knowing that Harry’s mom is taking good care of her.  
“I felt a bit like a teenager,” Johanna adds, but Louis stops her.  
“I don’t want to hear about your date, thank you very much. Sure as hell I want to meet the guy though! This very afternoon would be terrific,” he declares and maybe he’s being a bit overprotective. but she’s his mom after all, he doesn’t want to see her with a broken heart ever again.

***

“Harry!!!”  
Louis enters Harry’s house, shortly followed by his mother. Johanna goes straight to greet Anne in the kitchen, while her son climbs the stairs two steps at a time, impatient to find his boyfriend.  
“I’m in my room,” the curly man shouts from upstairs, head poking out his bedroom’s door, waiting for Louis to reach him.  
The blue-eyed man jumps inside Harry’s arms, causing the latter to lose his balance and fall down on the bed, taking Louis with him.  
“You really are a menace, Tomlinson!” Harry laughs, kissing his man’s lips.  
Louis snickers into the kiss, demanding access, biting at his bottom lip.  
They kiss for a while, Louis still a bit nervous after meeting his mom’s new friend.  
They went out for dinner in that fancy restaurant near the school and Louis had a really good time, even though he’s not very inclined to admit it.  
“How was he?” Harry asks, tucking one of Louis’ locks behind his ear.  
“He was very nice. Nervous as fuck, but nice. He’s ten years younger than her, can you believe it?”  
Harry smiles and pecks his lips once again.  
“Your mom is a very good looking woman. She seems a lot younger than she is, so, yeah, I can actually believe it.”  
Louis looks at him half disgusted and half annoyed, making Harry laughs, tightening his embrace.  
“Are you ready for the party?” Louis asks, walking his finger along Harry’s shirt button line, enjoying his shaved smooth chest.  
“Yes, I am, so no funny business,” Harry replies, batting Louis’ hand away.  
Louis pouts and Harry laughs.  
“There’s not enough time, love,” he explains “Zayn told me they’re coming over to take us to a secret location for the party in about fifteen minutes.”  
“A secret location? Since when Niall’s house is a secret location?”  
“We’re not going at Niall’s apparently!!”  
Louis’ eyes widen, what the hell did their friends plan this time?  
“Who’s coming again?” he asks, starting to caress Harry’s naked chest again.  
“The usual suspects,” the other man replies “and stop trying to persuade me to have sex because we don’t really have the time.”  
Louis kisses him anyway, not caring a bit about his boyfriend’s complaints.  
They’re about to deepen the kiss when a lot of yelling comes from outside, startling them as soon as they realise someone’s calling their names.  
“The lads are here,” they laugh at once, kissing a bit longer just to make their friends wait.

“Stop doing the dirt you two and come downstairs!!!” Niall shouts from outside and both men stand up to look through the window.  
They’re all there, their friends from high school, Louis’ drama club and Harry’s old team. Stan and Laura are waving at them and Louis waves back, smiling wide.  
“Wait,” he says “is that Alex?”  
He points at his PA lean figure, standing near Liam and Sophia, apparently very busy chatting with a very familiar redhead.  
“Oh my God!” Harry exclaims “Ed’s here too!! Niall has outdone himself, I swear!”  
He’s about to call Ed’s name when a big SUV with tinted windows appears at the end of the road, catching everyone’s attentions.  
It stops right in front of Harry’s house and Louis’ smile grows impossibly wide when he sees Nathan jumping out of the car, shortly followed by a very tanned and blonde Nick Grimshaw.  
“Bloody hell!” Harry laughs looking at Nick’s new hairstyle “I can’t really wait to tease him for the rest of our lives about that.”

“We should go now…” Louis says, suddenly sad.  
“I know…” Harry sighs, looking at his bedroom, nostalgia filling his heart.  
He’s thought a lot about the changes and new experiences both him and Louis are going to face very soon, and he knows his boyfriend has thought about it as much as he did.  
They haven’t slept very much in the past couple of days, just lay in Louis’ or Harry’s bed, limbs tangled, just enjoying each other’s company, waiting for the day they will part ways once again.  
Tomorrow’s going to be that day. As soon as they wake up wherever Niall has decided to throw his party, they will jump in the minivan Liam rented to take them back to London and, once there, Harry has a flight to Los Angeles to catch, while Louis has his meetings and readings to attend, before heading to LA next week as well. Harry wishes he could pack his mum, his boyfriend and Johanna and take them with him, because he’s so scared and he knows Louis is feeling the same. He hugs his man and he’s about to kiss him again, when someone interrupts them.

“Your friends are doing such a mess outside,” Anne says from the door “You should really join them now and go to your party.”  
“In a few minutes” Harry replies, grabbing his and Louis’ bags and throwing them over his shoulder, taking his time to look at the stuff he’s leaving behind.  
“Are you going to stay here tonight mom?” Louis asks Johanna, because he can see she’s a bit overwhelmed at the moment and he really doesn’t want her to stay alone right now.  
“Oh, no,” she replies “I promised Lottie and Fizzy that I was going to stay home tonight with the twins, so they can go out with their friends…”  
“But,” Anne adds “I’m going with you. We can have our own private party Johanna!!! You, me and our old friend Jack!!”  
Louis narrows his eyes.  
“Who’s Jack now?”  
“Oh for God’s sake Louis,” Johanna exclaims, rolling her eyes to his son “She means Jack Daniel’s, stop being so overprotective!”  
They start to laugh all together, but it’s clear they’re all very nervous.

“So this is it,” Anne starts, leading them downstairs “this is the last time we’re going to be together in this town for a while…”  
They stop in front of the door, the men facing their mothers, wrapped in a weird silence, interrupted only by the loud chatting of the lads outside.  
Anne takes her overnight bag and turns off the lights of the living room, unsure of what to do next, or how to say goodbye without crashing on herself and starting to cry.  
She’s still pondering on what to say, when a soft, soothing voice stops her sad train of thoughts.

 _“Lights go down, and the night is calling to me, yeah.”_  
_I hear voices singing songs in the street and I know”_  
Their friends are being very loud, singing Harry’s songs in the middle of the street, and Louis wants to join them, but first they have something to say to the most important women in their lives.

 _“that we won't be going home for so long, for so long but I know._  
_That I won't be on my own, yeah.”_  
Harry’s voice echoes through the living room, while he literally crashes on his mom, hugging her the tightest he can and watching Louis do the same with Johanna, before joining him and telling them how they really feel.

 _“I love this feeling that right now_  
_I wish you were here with me,”_  
“We’re with you boys,” Johanna says, tears already streaming down her face.

 _“Cause right now_  
_Everything is new to me.”_  
“We’re so proud of both of you,” Anne states “Whatever happens you’re gonna be okay, we promise”

 _“You know I can't fight the feeling._  
_And every night I feel it._  
_Right now_  
_I wish you were here with me.”_  
They painstakingly let go of their moms and go outside, immediately surrounded by their friends, sharing hugs and kisses, trying not to lose each other in the little crowd, but it’s almost impossible. Harry ends up with Ed in Nick’s SUV, while Louis finds himself on the backseat of Stan’s car, stuck between Laura and her twin sister, heading to the mysterious location Niall has rented for the party.

“Harry, is that you?” Louis asks, reaching out for his boyfriends hand, while he’s standing blindfolded somewhere in Manchester.  
“Yeah, it’s me,” Harry replies, lacing their fingers together.  
“Are you blindfolded too?”  
“Yeah… Nick did that, and he sounded very pleased while doing it.”  
“I’m going to kick his ass later, I promise!” he laughs, squeezing Harry’s hand.  
“Thanks man,” the curly boy replied, squeezing back.  
Laura took care of Louis about 5 minutes after they left Harry’s house and now he has no clue where they are.  
“Ready for the surprise?” Niall exclaims and he sounds so excited and happy that Louis feels the urge to strangle him.  
“C’mon man, can we take off this things and see where in hell you took us??”  
Louis hears Zayn and Liam laughing and okay, the list of people he wants to kill before the night ends is getting longer by the second.  
Suddenly the scarf is removed from his eyes and all his murderous purposes fade away, because they’re at the Liv Club. The place where everything started. The place where he found his soulmate at 18 years old, the place where he promised himself to never let him go.  
“Let’s party lads!” Niall shouts and they all enter the club, Zayn taking his place at the console and Louis his place in Harry’s arms.

The night is almost over, drunk people are dancing around them, everyone happy to be there as much as Louis and Harry are.  
Louis is in a corner, waiting for Liam to come back with his beer, watching Harry dance with Nick and Nathan and he feels like nothing has changed, even though everything is going to change from now on.  
His curly man looks at him and smiles and Louis feels that this is exactly where he wants to be.

 _“Late night spaces with all our friends, you and me, yeah._  
_Love these faces just like how it used to be.”_  
Liam joins him, shortly followed by Stan and it’s like he’s 18 all over again. He’s going to miss them so much, he’s going to miss Harry so much.

 _“And we won't be going home for so long, for so long._  
_But I know, I won't be on my own, on my own.”_  
Louis looks at Alex and Ed dancing and he’s so happy he doesn’t have to face all of this by himself even though it’s Harry the one he really wants by his side.

 _“I'm feeling like right now_  
_I wish you were here with me_  
_Cause right now_  
_Everything is new to me._  
_You know I can't fight the feeling._  
_And every night I feel it._  
_Right now_  
_I wish you were here with me.”_  
His friends drag him to the dancefloor, and they start that stupid dance they used to do at the Drama Club.  
Harry, Nick and Nathan join them and his boyfriend is really the worst dancer in the world.

 _“And I could do this forever._  
_Whoa, whoa._  
_And let's go crazy together._  
_Whoa, whoa.”_  
They dance along the music and they laugh because happiness is the only feeling they really want to feel, before sadness and fear take everything away.  
The lights suddenly fade and a very familiar voice reach his ears.  
“Louis!”

 _“Lights go down and I hear you calling to me, yeah.”_  
He reaches Harry under the only spotlight still on and they kiss, overwhelmed by the will to follow their own paths and the need to stay together.

 _“Right now_  
_I wish you were here with me_  
_Cause right now_  
_Everything is new to me._  
_You know I can't fight the feeling._  
_And every night I feel it._  
_Right now_  
_I wish you were here with me.”_

They kiss for a while, just enjoying each other’s taste, but then their friends separate them again and they laugh, trying to keep their hands joined, but failing miserably.  
Louis looks at Harry and he can’t help but smile, because it doesn’t matter what’s going to happen to them tomorrow, he’s sure Harry is always going to be his world. He suddenly feels the need to tell him that much, to tell the whole world that Harry is his breath, his everything, his home.

Harry’s phone buzzes in his pocket and he takes it out, mindlessly unlocking the screen.  
As soon as he focuses on the screen his eyes widen, his cheeks redden and his lips curve in the biggest smile ever. It’s a tweet from Louis. Harry feels all his fears disappear at once. They’re going to make it, they’re going to last.

 **Louis Tomlinson**  
_Always in my heart @Harry_Styles . Your sincerely, Louis._

He looks at Louis, finding him already looking back.  
“I love you,” he shouts, before they start running towards each other, crashing midway and kissing fiercely under the shining disco lights.

**Author's Note:**

> One Direction are not mine, neither are their songs but i enjoyed a lot using all of them.  
> I'm gonna update every 7-10 days but be patient with me because I'm a single working mom and I don't have much spare time!!  
> You can find me on http://seifrancy.tumblr.com/ and on twitter @seifrancy  
> Come to say Hi if you please ^_^


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